The most off-putting things about baby classes

[Delilahhhh]

I’ll go first…

One I went to made everyone go round in a circle and say their name, their baby’s name and age and something new they’d done that week. In hindsight this was probably an easy activity to save them having to fill time but as someone who doesn’t like public speaking it really put me off going back. I’d be driving to it trying to prepare what my new thing that week was when realistically, there isn’t always something 🙈

I hate that kind of thing at work, let alone an optional activity!

Totally! I used to always think why would they possibly think this is a good idea and people want to do this? 😩

I feel like I’ve been to millions and we’ve never had to do this. I’m quite glad!

I now try and assess in advance if it involves this 😂

I would think they're just trying to help you make friends! You could just say that your name is X, baby's name is Y and your mind always completely empties when asked anything else

DP went to one where the course leader sang really flat. I don't think I could put up with that.

Being asked my baby’s favourite song/nursery rhyme.
‘Errrr, she’s 5 months old - I don’t think she has a concept of favourites, and we’ve done loads already today so now I’m just having to play some weird guessing game where I think of what nursery rhymes we haven’t yet sung today’.

Also find cliquey mums very off-putting.

Well, I'd be fine with that, the main point of them for me was to socialise with other mums. The off-putting thing for me would have been if no one chatted and they literally just did the activity.

Most off putting for me is when none of the mums talk to each other. I can entertain my baby at home, I go to classes for some adult interaction!

Not seen that one before and I'm not sure I'd be keen. You pay for baby classes as a way to outsource the thinking of something creative to do with the baby if you ask me.

I once went to Rhyme Time with dc3 aged about a year. In that session we had one mum burst into tears because the leader started Round and round the garden and didn't wait for her to wake baby (4-6 months) up when it was their favourite, one who covered the baby's ears up during Pop goes the weasel, because he might be scared. One who has a temper tantrum including stamping feet because the leader refused to make it 20 minutes later the next week because they had an appointment so would be late. One one who squealed every song that it was their baby's (about 9 months) favourite and wanted everyone to be silent so we could hear baby singing it (said baby thoughtfully chomped on their fingers and ignored everything else.

It was a mixture of the funniest and most batshit 30minutes I spent in a baby group.
I didn't go back.
The poor leader was so patient but you could see them losing the will to live! 🤣

The performance parenting of other parents there. Can't abide it. Went once never went back.

I went to a couple where all the mums (and it's always mums isn't it, dads aren't expected to pretend to be kids TV presenters/have lobotomies) sang the songs with the same fevour as if we were in a religious cult. They weren't normal nursery rhymes, they were this baby groups special weird songs. No one was finding it weird or funny.

Agree with this. My first is just coming up 12 weeks so we've been to a few baby related classes and things recently. I'm there to meet people, so names and something of a conversation starter are ideal.

The worst thing for me is walking in and it being obvious everyone knows each other already (even if it's the first class of a term). I had this with a prenatal yoga class; the other 6 women there had obviously booked as a group and I was a complete outlier that nobody was interested in speaking to.

Manly did toddler groups and a lot of them - more informal but harder to get to talk to other mothers.

Did free taster classes at children center - songs and colourful cloth with puppets - and a music one got reduce rate for a term- they were very rigid.

All the children had to take part even when it was causing tantrums- not talking to others parents during session and no deviation from songs/plan. I think we did intro but knew most of the other mothers from other groups so wasn't hugely off putting - most of putting thing was the cost much more than toddler groups - which often had sing song bits at end anyway and often craft session so could avoid mess at home.

OP i totally agree i absolutely loathe public speaking, same thing happened to me at my first baby group so I spent the time panicking about what i'll say or how I'll sound and so I never remember what others said about themselves. I go to make mum friends too but do sooo much better when making natural conversation 121 or in small groups. I wish organisers considered that this might be hellish for some mums.

I went to one form a popular London chain where she sang like she smoked 50 packs a day and had a quarter of a lung left. She's still there apparently 🙈

I used to hate the cliques. Mums that went together and never said as much as hello to anyone else but spent their time whispering and giggling about other mums. I can see now that they were the problem, but at the time, with PND and feeling like I had to attend groups, it made me feel shit.

I took my first child to a baby signing and singing class from when he was about 4 months old. He started crawling at just over 6 months. The first time I took him after he started crawling, one of the mums said 'I thought he was only 6 months' and when I said that he was, she turned her back on me and never spoke to me again. Another mum told me that the other mum said I was 'parading' him and 'showing off' and thats why she no longer spoke to me. Again, I had horrendous PND and I'm definitely not the 'show off' type, I liked to blend in and not be noticed, especially with how awful I was feeling.

I did find a couple of lovely groups though with both of my children and have learnt not let others affect me.

I went to a few different baby classes on mat leave and luckily didn't experience any of the "go round in a circle and introduce yourself etc" etc. I liked getting out of the house for an hour and would sometimes have a little chat with another mum. I was too sleep deprived to have even noticed if anyone was talking about me 😂

I did a sensory one and there were graded tactile stuff from very rough to very smooth. The instructor said 'smood' every single time. Drove me mad 😂

One of my closest friends is one I met at a class over 16 years ago! We bonded over having generally uncooperative babies.

Controversial but I hated it when older siblings were there!

As someone who has been very shy and anxious in the past and used to hate group activities with a passion - I realise now that there's nothing awful or terrible about having to say your name and your baby's name.
No wonder so many people are lonely.
Just be yourself 🙂

We did a monkey music trial with DS1 years ago when he was about 2 years old and they expected him to sit down and then bash the drum in time with her.....err no, he did however run around and attempt to bash the drum on everyone else's child and we didn't go back.

DD a few years later, did love it though.

My post natal group was great - though I felt bad for the poor mum who's baby cried nonstop and she seemed so embarrassed and never came back.
I met up with three of the women for the next five years, through second babies. Then I moved 70 miles away and that was that.
I did Monkey Music for awhile but I don't think I said a single thing to the other mums - they just packed up and left.
Ditto a playgroup at a church hall. Rarely spoke to anyone - totally unapproachable, no matter how much I smiled or made a bit of small talk. It wasn't always the same people week in week out which made it harder.