The most off-putting things about baby classes

[Delilahhhh]

I’ll go first…

One I went to made everyone go round in a circle and say their name, their baby’s name and age and something new they’d done that week. In hindsight this was probably an easy activity to save them having to fill time but as someone who doesn’t like public speaking it really put me off going back. I’d be driving to it trying to prepare what my new thing that week was when realistically, there isn’t always something 🙈

When everyone already knows each other and they already have their “tribe” and it’s very obvious they don’t want more friends! Tried my hardest to be nice to anyone new because it’s such an awful feeling.

Had my oldest in lockdown and so I did a lot of classes online or via facebook groups. Soooo much competitive parenting where people were uploading pictures of their babies (usually the same people over and over) in their baby sensory den/room they’d painstakingly constructed specifically for the class. A lot of “look at my baby, my baby is the best” vibe. Then there’s me with whatever we had in the house as props just muddling through it 😂

I was so excited to take DD2 to baby massage. I hadn't been well enough to take DD1 when she was the right age. But there were only 2 of us and the leader went on and on about her own child. I ditched it, even though I'd paid for the full course and had an awkward phone call from the leader when I didn't go back.

Yup same! It's great when they help you interact

What's performance parenting?

I can't believe this thread I've had nothing but nice experiences and they really helped me feel less lonely being single with a baby.
If anyone is reading this please don't let pp out you off going to a baby class! Xx

Baby classes held in venues that don't have space for buggies to be stored. Unbelievably this has happened to me twice.

I hate them! If you are in a group who know each other, use your power for good to include those who are on their own! This isn’t secondary school, a little bit of kindness goes a long way.

At baby massage asking your baby if it's ok to start massaging them. Made me cringe every time and with both DC 😂

I went to my first class last week with my baby daughter. My son was born in lockdown so I never got to go with him. It was a lot of fun and everyone was really nice :)

The worst thing about it was having to listen to that god awful Baby Shark song 😂

You should watch Workin' Moms. It's a sitcom on Netflix and is centred around a baby group. Very funny, the leader is batshit.

Was one of them "say hello to the sun shining down on meeee"

I made it as far as saying hello to the corn with the big phallic gesture completely lost it in a fit of giggles 🤭

Aaah we had this at our antenatal group reunion, the midwives ran through a bit of baby massage and the 'consent' bit.

I'm all for enthusiastic consent but he was 3 weeks old at the time, WTF? Should I also be asking for consent to change his nappy then?

I went to a signing group when the DTs were around 18 months - had a lovely time, they learned a few signs and used them, got on well with the other mums. All good.

It ran termly and at the end of the term there was a little graduation ceremony, where the toddlers would get a hat and gown to wear and a certificate to hold, we could take photos etc. Very sweet! Unfortunately my DC came down with a D&V bug a day before and I didn't want to pass it on (especially as the same props would be used for all the DC in the group!), so I let the teacher know we wouldn't make it that week - a shame as it was the only class we missed, but I didn't want anyone else to get ill.

I asked if I could collect the certificates whenever it was convenient... I was told we didn't get certificates as my DC had missed the final class and technically hadn't graduated they are almost 10 years old now and I still can't believe the pettiness of it!

When a group of NCT mums go together and only interact with each other.
God forbid a mum on her own trys to talk to any of them.

I'd have liked that, we did that at baby massage.
I went to a trial baby signing class billed as a one off summer taster session, but in fact all the mums knew each other and the leader spent the whole time asking after people's older children, neighbours etc whom she seemed to know. Made no effort to talk to me and the mums sitting either side of me turned away to talk to other mum. I didn't go back.
All other classes have been lovely though!

@PennyGreen that reminds me of something also 10 yrs ago that still annoys me...

I brought my twins to a local pay as you go music class, ds was clingy and didn't socialise well, Dd loved being in company and I felt bad as Ds held us back. Ds started screaming the second he walked in and nothing would calm him so I tried to bring him outside the door to his buggy, but dd ran riot so I tried to bring her but she screamed to stay. So I tried to stay with her but then DS was yelling in the buggy outside so I went back out. I did this in and out dance for a while with everyone watching, it was so embarrassing. The leader finally offered to sit with Dd and I go stay with DS so I walked around outside with him, fuming at him! Dd had a great time, singing and dancing. At the end of class I thanked the leader again and apologised again. She told me not to worry then proceeded to charge me for both children. So bloody cheeky!!

That was my fear when my first baby was small but then I kind of ended up on the other side of it as some of my friends had babies at the same time as me and I only went to classes they were going to. I really tried not to do that cliquey thing though and speak to anyone that was beside me! Some of the most enjoyable classes I’ve been to with my second have been ones where I’ve gone alone and you can instantly tell everyone else is alone too so there’s no pressure at all. Now they’re toddlers I usually find myself complimenting someone’s little one’s clothes or shoes (that I genuinely like) then asking how old they are and the conversation just flows! Would never have managed that in the early days with my first, it was a whole new world

Omg yes!!

Oh il watch this thanks 😊

It’s weird how some classes are just like that aren’t they. One I went to had ‘tea and coffee at the end’ but in reality it was a cup to go as the next class was due to start and only if you actually went up and asked them to make one. So a)no one had one and just left and b) even if you had, the whole way it was advertised was having a coffee with other mums, not in the car after by yourself. It is a hard balance to strike to let everyone feel relaxed enough to chat, while making it something worthwhile to actually go to for their babies, while not putting pressure on a forced ‘what skill has your baby mastered this week’ thing. I really don’t know what the answer is but some are definitely better than others

@Delilahhhh the council run classes I went to were definitely better for actually socialising - they tended to have volunteers to help as well as a leader or two, which is brilliant when you have DTs! This is pre-Covid though, things may have changed since then (obviously my DC are too old for such classes now!) but the groups were cheap, convenient and lovely for meeting people.

@Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong you've reminded me of a class I once tried out... it was advertised as having plenty of parking at the venue (community hall) which was great, as obviously with twins you can't just carry your single baby into the class, you have to get the buggy out etc. Well, there WAS plenty of parking but only if you got there a couple of hours before when all the other classes started at the hall, otherwise you ended up driving around waiting for a spot having finally got a spot and wrestled the DTs into the twin buggy, I went up to the hall only to find that the buggy wouldn't fit through the door, and of course no one could come out to help me as they were all in the class which was out of sight round a corner inside!! I gave it up and went to have a coffee nearby instead...

Emailed the class leader later and explained what had happened, and her only reply was "Oh what a pain"... no apology for the lack of info, no offer to help next time. And no, she didn't refund me for the trial class! On the bright side, I didn't sign up for her classes so it saved me quite a bit

(To anyone reading this thread, I would say that 95% of the classes I went to with my DC were absolutely fine and I would encourage you to go, but the ones which stick in my mind are the ones which were a bit disastrous!)