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Original poster

My son doesn’t like football

43 replies

On3Mor3Try · 18/08/2024 20:44

My 9yo son doesn’t like football and I think he feels like an outsider because of this. We signed him up to the local football club along with all his classmates when he was 5 yo, but by the time he turned 6yo he was asked to leave the club because he “was a distraction” and “didn’t have the focus”. We were heartbroken for him. I thought this was pretty cruel and utterly ridiculous to expect a 6 year old to “have focus”. It’s supposed to be fun. We live in a small town and he has felt very excluded ever since, even though he doesn’t really like football. He just wants to feel included. He has friends, and has just recently started asking to go out to play with the kids in our estate who are also in his class at school. But he comes home earlier than everyone else because he gets bored because all they do is play football. He goes to a martial arts class which he loves, he also goes to drum lessons, and swimming lessons. He just hasn’t really found a friend to play with who isn’t obsessed with football and I feel sorry for him and worry that he is lonely. Do you think this will change for him as he gets older?

OP posts:
BlueLegume · 18/08/2024 20:45

Rugby. Try that. Or he might just not be into sport. That is ok. Don’t be dragged into what other parents think. 🤗

Overtheatlantic · 18/08/2024 20:48

Good that he doesn’t love football. There’s other sports out there, like rugby, tennis, swimming, judo.

Summertimer · 18/08/2024 20:49

How sad that we are raising the expectation that football will be of interest to every boy. It definitely isn’t and I don’t think any 5 year ought to be in a class like that. There is so much more to life than kicking a football around. Hope you find something else for him

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TicketyBoo11 · 18/08/2024 20:53

I do hope not. Football is a dreadful game with loutish supporters - oh and that’s just the parents watching their kids at Sunday league. Speaking from experience.

There’s plenty of other sports for him to get into, let him find his way.

RedHelenB · 18/08/2024 20:54

If he really doesn't want to play football with his friends then he'll have to find different friends if that's all they do . Don't they have bikes and scooters or skateboards? When mine were that age they'd play other games too like kerby.

peoplearepeople · 18/08/2024 20:56

My son was the same. Once he got to high school age things completely changed and there were plenty of boys who felt the same and had other interests. They've all gone on to do really well.
He did find it difficult until then though and a lot of his better friends were actually girls in primary school.
If you asked him about football now he wouldn't have a clue and probably couldn't even name a team! His Dad doesn't like football either and much prefers other sports so that probably played a hand in it.
It's not a crime to dislike football and the culture around it. Make sure he knows that it's totally acceptable.
It sounds like he has other interests though which is good. Keep nurturing those and don't force the football thing if he has no interest.

Original poster
On3Mor3Try · 18/08/2024 21:00

On3Mor3Try · 18/08/2024 20:44

My 9yo son doesn’t like football and I think he feels like an outsider because of this. We signed him up to the local football club along with all his classmates when he was 5 yo, but by the time he turned 6yo he was asked to leave the club because he “was a distraction” and “didn’t have the focus”. We were heartbroken for him. I thought this was pretty cruel and utterly ridiculous to expect a 6 year old to “have focus”. It’s supposed to be fun. We live in a small town and he has felt very excluded ever since, even though he doesn’t really like football. He just wants to feel included. He has friends, and has just recently started asking to go out to play with the kids in our estate who are also in his class at school. But he comes home earlier than everyone else because he gets bored because all they do is play football. He goes to a martial arts class which he loves, he also goes to drum lessons, and swimming lessons. He just hasn’t really found a friend to play with who isn’t obsessed with football and I feel sorry for him and worry that he is lonely. Do you think this will change for him as he gets older?

Sorry, I think I maybe didn't explain that last sentence properly. I didn't mean do you think things will change and he will start to like football as he gets older. I just mean do you think things will change and he will find friends he has more in common with. Sorry! Poorly worded by me! Smile

OP posts:
Redwood48 · 18/08/2024 21:00

My 9 year old also hates football.

However he does have friends who feel the same way (boys and girls)

Maybe see if one of his class mates wants to come to your house to hang out and maybe play other things? How about gaming?

Original poster
On3Mor3Try · 18/08/2024 21:01

peoplearepeople · 18/08/2024 20:56

My son was the same. Once he got to high school age things completely changed and there were plenty of boys who felt the same and had other interests. They've all gone on to do really well.
He did find it difficult until then though and a lot of his better friends were actually girls in primary school.
If you asked him about football now he wouldn't have a clue and probably couldn't even name a team! His Dad doesn't like football either and much prefers other sports so that probably played a hand in it.
It's not a crime to dislike football and the culture around it. Make sure he knows that it's totally acceptable.
It sounds like he has other interests though which is good. Keep nurturing those and don't force the football thing if he has no interest.

Edited

This is really helpful, thanks

OP posts:
3beesinmybonnet · 18/08/2024 21:03

This was my son years ago! No interest in football, used to come home early from playing out because all the others just wanted to play football all the time, enjoyed martial arts. He enjoyed beavers, cubs and scouts but at 12 he started ACF and really found his tribe. Made loads of friends just like him who enjoyed the same activities as him. Really taught him that there are lots of young people out there just like him, you just have to find them, there's no need to compromise who you are to fit in.

FumingTRex · 18/08/2024 21:06

My DS is the same, he is much happier at secondary and has lots of friends who arent into football.

I would suggest inviting friends round so they can play one to one.

Original poster
On3Mor3Try · 18/08/2024 21:06

3beesinmybonnet · 18/08/2024 21:03

This was my son years ago! No interest in football, used to come home early from playing out because all the others just wanted to play football all the time, enjoyed martial arts. He enjoyed beavers, cubs and scouts but at 12 he started ACF and really found his tribe. Made loads of friends just like him who enjoyed the same activities as him. Really taught him that there are lots of young people out there just like him, you just have to find them, there's no need to compromise who you are to fit in.

It really helps to hear stories like this. Thank you

OP posts:
Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 18/08/2024 21:09

I think football can be toxic if you're not skilled at it. Rugby could be good for him, much nicer culture. Or something totally different to sport

OfDragonsDeep · 18/08/2024 21:10

My son is like this too, but he’s 8. All the other boys play football, but my son doesn’t like it. He does a martial arts class too that he does like, but at school it’s just football football football. I hope it works out better once he gets to secondary and there lots of other kids 🤞

Soonenough · 18/08/2024 21:11

Mine did not like football either. It really can leave them a bit isolated and hard to socialise. At secondary school he met so many other boys with different interests. He was good at guitar and being in a band , typical schoolboy one , came with its own street cred and acceptance . Don't fret too much , he will find his tribe.

PhotoDad · 18/08/2024 21:12

My DS didn't (and doesn't) like football; his main things in primary school were music and dance. Eventually he phased out dance for a non-team sport which he loves (purely because he couldn't be in two places at once at weekends). He's now in sixth form and has a wide range of lovely friends (both male and female), none of whom care much about sport, and most of whom are musical in some way. Good luck to you and your DS!

laundryobsessed · 18/08/2024 21:12

On3Mor3Try · 18/08/2024 20:44

My 9yo son doesn’t like football and I think he feels like an outsider because of this. We signed him up to the local football club along with all his classmates when he was 5 yo, but by the time he turned 6yo he was asked to leave the club because he “was a distraction” and “didn’t have the focus”. We were heartbroken for him. I thought this was pretty cruel and utterly ridiculous to expect a 6 year old to “have focus”. It’s supposed to be fun. We live in a small town and he has felt very excluded ever since, even though he doesn’t really like football. He just wants to feel included. He has friends, and has just recently started asking to go out to play with the kids in our estate who are also in his class at school. But he comes home earlier than everyone else because he gets bored because all they do is play football. He goes to a martial arts class which he loves, he also goes to drum lessons, and swimming lessons. He just hasn’t really found a friend to play with who isn’t obsessed with football and I feel sorry for him and worry that he is lonely. Do you think this will change for him as he gets older?

So glad he doesn't like football. It's full of trashy, aggressive supporters. No need for that. If he's into sport, tennis is a nice, more relaxed game. So is cricket (with a few more safety requirements). Rugby is pure aggression and I can't be doing with it!

Simonjt · 18/08/2024 21:13

We have a nine year old boy who also dislikes football, he does like rugby and plays for a team, he also dances, but so far is yet to find school friends who are particularly into either, plus he can be quite shy. At school his friends are mainly girls, his school here seems far less gendered in friendship groups so that has made things a bit easier for him, at his last school he was was teased and bullied for being friends with girls by future misogynists.

As they get older it gets easier as school is bigger, so there are a wider range of interest among the kids. But yeah, the wait is hard when you’re seeing your child struggling, it isn’t fair.

BrigadierEtienneGerard · 18/08/2024 21:19

Good for him. I had no interest in it as a boy and have even less interest in it now. In fact, that goes for all ball games.

I was in the Scouts, swam, had a bike and later on got interested in Orienteering. He'll have something that interests him, don't worry.

Football - forget it. The only problem it's ever caused me is that my eyes tend to glaze over in the pub when the subject comes up for discussion.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 18/08/2024 21:24

Neither of our ds like football.

There are plenty of other things to do - other sports (team and individual), music, scouting, dance / drama.

Let your ds try lots of other out of school activities, they will find plenty of likeminded friends along the way.

PhotoDad · 18/08/2024 21:26

@BrigadierEtienneGerard Off topic, but I haven't thought about the Brigadier Gerard yarns for years, and now I want to re-read them to see whether they're as funny as I remember!

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 18/08/2024 21:29

@On3Mor3Try , I hope this is some help. My ‘boys’ are now 34 and 30, neither of them liked football or any sports really. They found their people but I do think sporty types especially boys have a bit of an easier ride. They are both very happy and successful now and have a great group of friends who really couldn’t care less about football either. Your lovely son is his own person, encourage his interests and friendships with others who share them. I feel for you. X

ghostbusters · 18/08/2024 21:37

My DSs (9 & 12) have never liked football. My eldest found his best friend in the playground at school age 7. His BF is really into football but they still merrily hang out together and make time for each other. Other than his love of football, BF & DS are really similar. Going to secondary school has let eldest DS see how different everyone is and he has loads of friends with all sorts of interests (DS and his friends are more D&D than sporty).
My youngest has a great group of friends, also not interested in football (except one but he plays with DS and not with the football kids at lunch /break).
Has your DS looked at the wider group of kids his age to find out if there are others that also dislike football? There are bound to be others, even if they pretend to like it.

olympicsrock · 18/08/2024 21:44

My 9 year old son doesn’t like football either. He likes nature science and imaginative play. He also likes rugby and we are encouraging him to do hockey.
He finds most sport over competitive. He is desperate to try cubs. DS 1 is super sporty so it took me a while to accept that DS2 is different. We now celebrate the brilliant boy he is. He has friends. We are lucky that friends and teachers all tell us that he is a fantastic boy.
Try to shift your mindset to accept who your son is.

WeaselCheeks · 18/08/2024 21:48

My lad doesn't like football, which I think makes him a little bit isolated at school. Hoping that when he gets into secondary school there will be a wider range of kids to socialise with!

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