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What could I have done differently to save my job?

97 replies

lostandconfusedmh · 18/08/2024 10:33

I was working at one of the Big 4 firms, but I began experiencing significant challenges after I went off my SSRIs, which I'd been on in high doses for years. The withdrawal symptoms were intense, and combined with the stress of my job, they led to me failing all six of my certificate-level exams. I felt too ill to turn up for work and struggled to perform my responsibilities properly.

During this difficult period, I was diagnosed with autism, PTSD, depression, and anxiety. My parents advised me not to disclose my mental health issues to future employers, so I only told my boss about my autism diagnosis and kept the rest to myself. My boss was skeptical and angry, questioning whether my autism alone could explain my struggles.

He even accused me of lying, saying my autism didn’t seem severe enough to cause all the problems I was experiencing. However, he did follow the Disability Discrimination Act 2010 procedure and gave me another chance.

I was then sent to Wakefield client-site to work in a credit control role, which involved making 25 calls a day, writing emails to angry customers, and liaising with a difficult client whose account management department was quite challenging. Unfortunately, this role heavily relied on social and communication skills, which are areas where I struggle due to my autism.

I made several mistakes, like canceling the wrong contracts, deleting files, accidentally CCing internal emails to customers, and even asking the client's CFO if he would renew a contract, which didn’t go over well.

On top of that, my boss was frustrated with me for missing timesheets, taking long PTOs, and working from home.

Eventually, he suggested that I leave the company. I decided it would be better to resign, and he agreed, likely to avoid any potential legal issues for the company.

The employment lawyer I spoke to told me I should have informed occupational health that I had all those anxiety disorders etc., and maybe argued with occupational health to put me off the Wakefield project and somewhere else.

OP posts:
KerryBlues · 19/08/2024 14:06

Loveandhatred · 19/08/2024 14:01

Teach First isn't a course. It's a job. They will be employed to teach from day 1 in September on a pretty much full time teaching timetable. Then there's uni work and learning sessions on top of all that. A disaster waiting to happen for this OP.

Untrained??

Loveandhatred · 19/08/2024 14:07

KerryBlues · 19/08/2024 14:06

Untrained??

There is about 5-6 weeks of training in June/July before they start in the classroom and then ongoing mentoring and monitoring throughout their 2 years of employment.

23Shadows · 19/08/2024 14:10

Loveandhatred · 19/08/2024 14:01

Teach First isn't a course. It's a job. They will be employed to teach from day 1 in September on a pretty much full time teaching timetable. Then there's uni work and learning sessions on top of all that. A disaster waiting to happen for this OP.

Absolutely. She'll be back here asking for more employment advice in a few weeks.

OP, please find something more suited to your skills.

Sandwichgen · 19/08/2024 14:12

I'd look at getting any job, a non-pressured job if there is such a thing, so you can get used to the stress of being in the workforce and needing to be organised.

Use that time to investigate (with the help of autism and ADHD resources) which roles are likely to be comfortable for you and go on from there.

KerryBlues · 19/08/2024 15:02

Loveandhatred · 19/08/2024 14:07

There is about 5-6 weeks of training in June/July before they start in the classroom and then ongoing mentoring and monitoring throughout their 2 years of employment.

That's appalling (for the students).

SpeakfromExperience · 19/08/2024 15:52

Whilst I agree with others that this didn't seem a good fit for you and your employer, I'm surprised at the amount of people spouting nonsense about a subject they clearly know nothing about.

OP didn't need to disclose any disabilities to be treated in line with the Equality Act 2010, up to and above, making reasonable adjustments. To be in breach of the Equality Act, an employer doesn't need to have been informed of a disability, at all. Never. It is not a requirement for reasonable adjustments.

The law is quite clear - if the employer should have reasonably known, then there is a duty on the employer to make reasonable adjustments. In OP's case - this could have looked like: episodes of panic or anxiety that is manifesting physically (it is not hard to see when it manifests physically), low mood, apathy etc related to the depression. For a person with ADHD for example, this might look like a person whom is unfocused and easily makes errors, or hyper focusing to the detriment of other tasks, on the opposite end of the spectrum. It could look like a person struggling to sit or stand for long periods of times in physical disabilities, the list goes on. Employers don't need to know what the disability even is, just reasonably be expected to have known - and in all these aforementioned instances, an employer would be reasonably expected to have known, that something was possibly up, and make adjustments to support and help them in the role. We thankfully, in 2024, do not need to disclose all of our personal struggles, including disabilities, to employers, in order to receive support in our roles in an effort to support equality.

I'm also aghast at the lack of compassion in this thread, towards the OP's difficulties in processing this sharp change in her life. Losing a career, especially one you valued and were proud of, due to difficulties related to your disabilities - is extremely hard for disabled people to accept and process. The processing of this takes time, reflection, and a lot of sadness, to be frank. There is also a long process to accepting that your disability does impact you negatively, in a way in which it wouldn't if you didn't have those disabilities - and it's not fair. OP is allowed to be upset about this, even for a long time.

OP - you asked a reasonable, reflective and mature question here in order to grow personally and professionally - what could you have done differently. I'm sorry you've not received a lot of support here in actually answering this. Whilst you don't have a legal obligation to disclose disabilities, unfortunately we are still not there with equality yet (this thread is a perfect example of the attitudes included in this statement), and, until we are there, it will make your working life much easier in future, to disclose. Think carefully about what you could realistically achieve, and manage, with the right support in place, and what that support could look like. Is this something that would be reasonable for an employer to implement, and would you be very valuable to the employer if they did implement this support? I would also advise with future employers you join a union, and utilise their services when you are experiencing difficulties.

People are right that an employer doesn't need to retain your contact if you are seriously underperforming, 'just because you're disabled', as they eloquently put it. It does sound as if your mistakes were seriously impacting not just your work, but your bosses, and the overall reputation with clients, at times, and this was just not sustainable. You could have engaged better with outlining your difficulties, where they were coming from, and asking for particular support. Your employer could have done better in a lot of ways, too.

Its perhaps difficult to people without disabilities that impact their working life negatively, to understand or recognise that many, many employers do NOT want to deal with this, precisely because it makes the employers life difficult, and there is still a lot of indirect discrimination in the workplace, that someone without these difficulties would never, ever know about, or see sign of.

One thing you learn from and do differently OP - if you're going to make a drastic change to your treatment plan (completely coming off high dose SSRI's) for one of these disabilities, it's reasonable to expect you are going to experience difficulties related to this. You should take a period of leave to enact these changes, in order that it impacts your work as little as possible. This was a daft move on your part - it seems to be catalyst that triggered no end of problems.

SpeakfromExperience · 19/08/2024 16:05

notanotheronenow · 18/08/2024 21:46

100%.

As someone who has been diagnosed with various things myself, it drives me nuts when other people use them as excuses like this.

The severity to which your diagnoses impact you, and your working life, may be vastly different to the severity in which it impacts the OP.

Someone else mentioned that other people with autism work in this sector. That's completely irrelevant. There are different severity levels within all disabilities. This would be a useful concept to grasp and understand fully, in all areas of life. You and OP are the not same, and it's a basic societal skill to understand that your experience is not another's.

Certainly on the original post, I don't see any excuses from OP. In fact, they've quite bluntly stated the numerous mistakes and errors they made. They've been factual, and stated factually the difficulties they had in addition to factual accounts of how they messed up. They've simply asked how they could have acted differently.

'I've got diagnoses myself and manage without making mistakes like this so you're just making excuses' is uninformed at best, malice at worst.

LIZS · 19/08/2024 16:18

An employer cannot make appropriate adjustments if you choose not to disclose the issues you face. Had you done so OH might have given better guidance regarding appropriate roles and exam support. However failing professional exams and not attending work are fundamental reasons to dismiss. It seems you may be about to set yourself up to fail again if you take a teaching role. Agree it would be better to look for a local charity who could support your mh while you seek suitable employment and training,

owladventure · 19/08/2024 19:39

@SpeakfromExperience No, people are just confused that the op is simultaneously claiming to have been sacked by the Big 4 and a Magic Circle firm in the same window of time.

KerryBlues · 19/08/2024 19:46

owladventure · 19/08/2024 19:39

@SpeakfromExperience No, people are just confused that the op is simultaneously claiming to have been sacked by the Big 4 and a Magic Circle firm in the same window of time.

Does op have multiple threads on this?
Always a bad sign.

Singleandproud · 19/08/2024 23:49

@KerryBlues the OP had about 10 threads - not even an exaggeration, open 3 months or so ago (different user name though all details are the same) each about a different aspect of the job, failing to meet targets, making mistakes with important clients, the failed exams, being moved somewhere she didn't want to be and not being helped despite not disclosing her diagnosis and MH challenges and not accepting or taking onboard any advice it does not suprise me they have several running now.

KerryBlues · 20/08/2024 00:13

Singleandproud · 19/08/2024 23:49

@KerryBlues the OP had about 10 threads - not even an exaggeration, open 3 months or so ago (different user name though all details are the same) each about a different aspect of the job, failing to meet targets, making mistakes with important clients, the failed exams, being moved somewhere she didn't want to be and not being helped despite not disclosing her diagnosis and MH challenges and not accepting or taking onboard any advice it does not suprise me they have several running now.

Oh dear 🤦‍♀️

Lexigone · 20/08/2024 00:49

Op, you need to look on this as a blessing. However you have to honestly look at environments you can work and thrive in.

I have inattentive ADHD and possible ASD, not dx until later. However I was lucky to career change in my early 30s and I worked with a mentor. The best advice I can give is work out the skill that you are best at and enjoy, and find a job where that is the bulk of the job. This strategy has saved me mentally as my manager knows I am one of the best at what I do, despite having a few struggles In other areas. Because they aren't the main part of the role I can find strategies for these.

I also hybrid work and its a good balance for me that prevents me from getting burnout. In over 12 years I've only had one month off sick and that was due to the fault of the company - I was doing so well they sneakily gave me two peoples jobs when someone went off long term sick. I did it but needed to recover.

When you get a job I also recommend applying to Access to Work for job coaching and any other support.

Reugny · 20/08/2024 01:01

KerryBlues · 19/08/2024 15:02

That's appalling (for the students).

Why?

Most people who do on the job/volunteer roles with school aged children are wise in their self-selection so don't go into the role if they can't cope with or quickly give up.

The problem is that the OP can't cope with significant amounts of stress and also can't multi-task so being in a classroom environment is likely to be hell for her.

TheBigStrawberry · 20/08/2024 05:29

KerryBlues · 19/08/2024 15:02

That's appalling (for the students).

Not necessarily. I had a Teach First (I assume) physics teacher and he was one of the best teachers I ever had. He was engaging, clever and full of energy. He inspired many of my class to take A level physics.

ladyamy · 20/08/2024 06:25

owladventure · 18/08/2024 11:00

There isn't a Disability Discrimination Act 2010.

I’m sure there is actually 🤔 but cancer, HIV and MS are the only automatically protected conditions. Autism never mentioned.

BlackBean2023 · 20/08/2024 08:02

@ladyamy it's the equality act 2010. A disability is any condition that has an impact on carrying out day to day activities.

OP, the only thing you could have done to save your job really was pass the exams. It would be considered beyond a reasonable adjustment to let you continue in a role you were not qualified for. They made a reasonable adjustment in red plotting you and it didn't work out.

I'd reconsider the environment you want to work in.

eish · 20/08/2024 08:29

OP why the big rush and why such a focus on a highly prestigious job rather than the right job for you? Take a year off to think, recover from burn out etc.

please DO NOT consider doing teaching.

Shinyandnew1 · 20/08/2024 10:16

I wonder how much your parents are shaping these decisions? Was it them that felt a career in law would be nice and prestigious despite it being a high stress job for someone with significant mental health difficulties as well as ASD.

Is it them now saying you need to do teaching as that’s a nice solid fallback option? Without thinking that it’s high stress, comparatively low pay and involves huge levels of multi-tasking, social communication, micromanagement and working in your own time.

You need to look at what you are good at, where your skills lie and what jobs would be ideal.

If you are coming back, I would strongly suggest you engage with the posters on your thread about Teach First. Do you still plan to start this training course next month?

LIZS · 20/08/2024 11:58

Have you considered finding a role with a less prestigious law practice and retaking the exams in a less pressured environment. Or applying your law degree in a different way, such as a paralegal or legal executive, in the court system or local government. It may not meet your former aspirations but suit your circumstances better.

KerryBlues · 20/08/2024 12:03

You sound so lost, op. Really hope you can move forward and find your place.

StMarieforme · 20/08/2024 13:02

MyMonkeyDanced · 18/08/2024 11:05

You got bad advice from your parents. An employer does not need to take into account undisclosed conditions unless they were previously undiagnosed. (E.g. lack of concentration then diagnosed with PTSD after the difficulties emerge as opposed to someone who knows their condition causes challenges but does not feel they need to disclose this to manage this). Once an employer is aware however they need to put in accommodations.

From an OH perspective, if a person is on a performance plan, advice will be provided on how to support the individual in being able to do their role from a health perspective. This will include Reasonable Adjustments, reduced role demands (although this may lead into change in pay), redeployment or redundancy. If a person is still underperforming after a set amount of time (in my workplace 6-12 months) they will be taken down the capability route for termination of contract.

I would suggest for any other job be open and honest with your direct manager and get an OH case worker who will support and modify your job tasks as and when required (if your employer has agreed to having a holistic OH service). Unfortunately if your employer has only commissioned a box ticking OH service then none of my advice above would be relevant!

Best advice you'll get OP.

Move on and be honest. They can't make reasonable adjustments if you're not. Your parents were wrong in this instance, tho I'm sure it was done from a place of support and love.

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