21 & 17 yr old - how much booze on holiday?

[EatingRipeCamembert]

We're on holiday for 18 nights. We did a huge supermarket shop on day one, bought in a lot of beer and some wine.

The last two nights DH has cracked open a beer while cooking, sons have done the same. Drinking carries on until and through dinner. Then DH stops, but sons have carried on helping themselves and we're through a lot more booze than we thought we'd be!

I made a comment last night that we don't have the budget to carry on like that and we'll need some dry days.

My problem is that DH doesn't want dry days, he wants to drink when he wants on holiday.

What's the right thing to do in this situation? Both DH and I want the boys to enjoy themselves and feel relaxed, I don't want to nag, but at the same time we obviously need to set some rules around alcohol consumption.

I barely drink (one or none per evening) and feel very uncomfortable about allowing a heavy drinking culture to grow in the family. But my eldest son is an adult, and I'd like both sons to feel that holidays with parents are fun, relaxed and non judgmental.

Do we tell them an allowed amount per evening? Or let them have free reign but have drinking nights and dry days? Buy an amount each that they're in charge of rationing?

It feels uncomfortable as I'd never tell them they can't eat what's in the cupboards!

Our DCs(and partners) are all adults. When on holiday together we have a when its gone it's gone policy so if you drink all the booze really quickly there isn't anymore. That seems to encourage a few days of moderation.

Is it the cost or them drinking so much that you are unhappy with?

If the cost, tell them they have to throw into the pot to buy some more. We go all inclusive so no one needs to keep track of how many drinks they or anyone elae is having.

If its the drinking per se, then I'm not sure of the answer. I don't have any dry days on holiday. I'm not saying I'm drunk every day but I will cosume alcohol every day on holiday and, to me, it is part of it. Would they still drink if DH didn't start it?

Are you staying in all evening? And do they have jobs?

I pay for drinks in the villa/hotel bar/at dinner but once they continue drinking without us that’s on them. Even though most of their own money comes from us it seems to encourage some discretion

Just say when it's gone your not getting more so it's upto them to ration

Set aside your husbands

Presumably they can pay for their own drinks at that age? Staying in all night in a villa with my parents would probably have driven me to drink.

They should contribute to replace it if they want more.

What happens at home, OP? Do they both live with you? How do they find their drinking then?
DS is 16 and not interested as yet, but once he starts, I will also expect him to mature enough to get a job and fund his own social drinking.

you say you got a lot of beer, but how much is a lot of beer? 5 cans a night if you’re starting at tea and drinking until 11 when you’re in a hot country on holiday isn’t ridiculous. So that’s 15 cans a day for 5 people. You’re going to get through a lot of beer.

At those ages I wouldn’t be telling them what they can/can’t drink on holiday but they should definitely go to the shop and buy what they want with their own money.

Can't they just buy some more beer? I.e. The 21 year old, not out of your money?

Definitely ration the 17yo to a couple of beers a night max. The older dc and your dh are old enough to ruin their own livers, but your dh should be intelligent enough to know that his sons will copy him. I like a couple of glasses of wine as much as the next person, but what a boring holiday for you sitting watching them get drunk.

I'd ration it to a certain amount per person per day. If anyone wants more they have to buy it themselves. Easy.

Buy what you see as a reasonable amount (so a few beers each per day) and tell the boys if they want any more than that they’ll have to buy it themselves as when it’s gone it’s gone. Put your DH’s booze away in a different cupboard and make it clear they’re not to touch it. Next time maybe go all inclusive, sounds like it would be worth it with two young men wanting to drink.

Tell DH and DS to go out and buy some more, with their own money then?

I assume they have their own spending money? Send them off to the shop to buy more from their own funds :)

I’d keep a track that the 17 year old wasn’t going mad but the 21 year old is an adult and can make his own choices, as well as pay for his own beers.

Get them to pay for their own beyond a certain amount that you set. Get husband to set aside what he wants for the rest of the holiday, and let them know they can't touch that.

We're off soon and for the first time have told our dc (all over 18) they need to pay for any drinks they want when we're out at a bar or restaurant beyond one soft drink. They have acquired a taste for expensive cocktails....

I drink daily when I'm on holiday, that's what holidays are for! Certainly wouldn't be having "dry days".

They can buy their own alcohol though if they want.

I would stash away enough for me and DH and leave the boys the rest. The older one can buy more if they want but it's not alright for them to drink it all and leave you with none if you only have one a night.

As for a heavy drinking culture, what happens on holiday stays on holiday - it doesn't need to follow you home.

Surely they just go and buy more if you don't want to. Have a set amount each night that you provide and that's it. At those ages I wouldn't be dictating what they can drink but I wouldn't necessarily be paying for it either.

Holidays are for spending, time and money imo. Relax, no need for dry days unless you're really skint.

I’d be more concerned about their health. Or your husband’s refusal to have dry days as if it made such a huge difference to the quality of his holiday

my 17yo wouldn’t be drinking much on a family holiday, but it’s gong to be very hard to send that message if your dh isn’t on board. I’d be very unhappy if my dh were a heavy drinker even if only on holidays, I’d probably tell him I’d rather he didn’t come since he’ll be influencing the kids.

Interesting that most of you suggest they spend their own money. 17 year old doesn't have his own money! He's struggled to get a job, had a bar job clearing glasses for a while but it was finishing 5am several nights a week so not compatible with A levels.

21 yr old is at uni and has a part time job but surely one of the perks of a holiday with your parents is that they pay! I don't think he'd come if it was self funded!

Thanks for suggesting two stores, one for DH and one for DC and a when it's gone it's gone approach.

We're in an Airbnb. Not a hot location. DC are free to do own thing after dinner eg calls with friends, TV, gaming etc.

I'm bothered by both cost and the impact on my sons of being encouraged to drink every day. Especially for the 17 year old.

Our society normalises so much drinking and I don't think it's necessary.

DHs brother died of alcoholism in his 40s and I find the idea of our sons going the same way very disturbing.

I’m surprised that neither of your kids have part time jobs, I assumed most do.

If you’re concerned about normalising how much alcohol is being drunk then suggest to your DH he’s not drinking every day? Although I do personally think that a holiday is one of the few times it is ok to drink daily.