Are disability benefits for people like me?

[Canibehelped]

When I was 18, I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and social phobia with agoraphobia. At 25 I was diagnosed with autism.

School was horrendous for me as an extremely socially anxious undiagnosed autistic female. But I got through it, somehow, one day at a time.
I worked in a few NMW jobs after and found them equally horrendous. Again, I got through them.
I got though uni, again with difficulty.
Have worked in a professional job for the last few years. Recently went part time due to my struggles, but still finding it all overwhelming.

I have spent almost my entire life shaking with anxiety. I spend my days dreading my next interaction with people. I make sure I get out for a walk every day, but even that is difficult. Merely walking around in public and going to shops makes me feel nervous and uncomfortable. If I have to talk to anyone, like a shop keeper or I see someone from work, or a member of the public speaks to me, i panic and sweat etc. I get behind on medication because I dread making phone calls and having to speak to someone. I don't go to a hairdressers or anything like that.

The stress of being around people at work makes me cry on a daily basis. I am constantly living in fear of people, both my bosses and colleagues. It is unbearable and I feel constantly ill from stress.

I have always pushed on and 'got on with it' as that's what I was brought up to do, no matter how unhappy I was. I've had therapy, CBT etc and take medication and nothing has helped.

I hear about people receiving benefits for anxiety and depression and I wonder if it's for people like me? My social phobia is making my life an utter misery. I dream of ending my life so I don't have to speak to people anymore.

Yes, it's for you.
Your disability is disabling you in everyday life.

You can have a look at PIP which is the only disability benefit for working age people. It looks at how you manage daily living activities and mobility. Lots of people receive it for mental health issues but being awarded it does depend how badly you are affected. It's important to provide medical evidence with your application.

If you are finding it impossible to work due to the severity of your condition, then yes.

Yes it’s for you BUT you need to be careful when filing out the forms. You probably think you’re managing right now but you’re very much not. It sounds like you need help in a lot of areas but because you’ve kept yourself alive up until now there is a big risk that you’ll minimise your struggles on the forms.

is there someone that could help you fill them in?

You are working, so if you leave and get signed off as sick, you can claim contributions based ESA.

It is worth looking into, as how things are for you right now sounds miserable.

But I CAN work, it just makes my life such an utter misery that I don't see this as a life worth living.
I put on a smile and be as friendly as I can, which is how I have got by (fake it til you make it) but it has never gotten easier and no one knows that underneath I am utterly quaking and sick to my stomach with every moment. I am so sad.

Have you thought about trying to change to a job which could be home working with minimal social interaction? leaving work altogether and just claiming ESA or UC is a very small amount to live off unless you also get awarded PIP.

Honestly, how you are feeling day to day is not normal, and even though you pull yourself to work, one day you wont be able to as you could have a breakdown.

You could apply for PIP, as that is also for people that work... but it sounds like you need time out. The money from PIP wont make you feel less anxious.

Yes OP, they are exactly for people like you. PIP is the one to look at. It’s not means tested, it’s needs based and it’s quite arduous to claim but there are services that can support you with your application.

If you can’t work there is UC and a disability element which makes it a bit more each month.

You sound like you have soldiered on but your circumstances are what these things are for.

PIP is to support people with disabilities whether they are working or not.

It is for people like you.

Get professional help to apply via CAB or similar.

It's vv complicated.

Don't all jobs require at least some aspect of talking to people, whether that's to colleagues or a boss? I can't even have a normal 'how was your weekend?' conversation with anyone with my heart racing. Once I had a conversation with my boss and I went faint and vomited afterwards ....

Yes they are for people like you. I think it can be quite difficult to claim nowadays. Definitely seek some help doing the forms.

I employ a lady that has very severe anxiety and autism. She works from home full time.

I never call her, only message her so she doesn't have to talk on the phone. I get all customers to call me directly and then I contact her if I need her. I email on Mondays to check she is ok. I give her time off for any appointments and I support her as best I can.

She is one of my best employees and goes above and beyond because I ultimately pay her a good wage and leave her alone.

If you can get a WFH job with a non twat employer, could you manage?

Thank you everyone, this is reassuring. I keep on going but I am so stressed. I can't even have normal conversations with people, it's pathetic. I don't want to go on benefits but I also don't want to live in fear all the time of people. I wish I could keep away from everyone, only then am I happier.

That sounds wonderful. Did you know about her struggles when you employed her?

Have you had any sort of medical diagnosis or treatment as this may also help

I have autism and I've previously worked in a role where I have involvement with PIP.

I'd say try and stay in some kind of work if at all possible. Have a realistic think about adaptations that would help you, and about any roles that might suit better. Consider if part time work is financially feasible if you can reduce your living costs. Consider neurodiversity coaching via Access to Work.

Consider if there are any sensory aspects that are making your workday more challenging. Personally I know that my sensory environment really affects how much tolerance I have to deal with other demands. Changing the way I commuted to work had a big effect on my stress levels at work.

There are more WFH opportunities than pre COVID and a hybrid or WFH role may suit you better.

A short break from work may help if this is affordable, but I'd be very wary about a long term break as the barriers to returning can be difficult.

About PIP. PIP is points based eg you need to score a certain number of points to get money. The criteria are specific . Have a look through the criteria and read what the different descriptors actually require to get you points. eg it says verbal communication difficulty earns points, but the bar for this is high. So lots of people who find verbal communication difficult won't be impaired enough to meet the PIP criteria (I did this job a while ago, so I can't remember exactly what the criteria are, do check yourself).

And I'd try to not be fully dependent on the benefits system if possible. I think the process of being regularly reassessed and the insecurity of knowing your benefits may be stopped (even if you win on appeal many monthly later) can be a difficult and vulnerable position to be in.

I appreciate most people on this thread have said otherwise, but I wanted to share my own experience.

I feel for you, my social anxiety ruins my life at times.

I get PIP for mental health, and it means I've been able to work part time.

If you can afford it, I'd stop working and go on benefits, you're not well. I don't know much about them but I know you could get ESA (possibly universal credit?).

But, use your time productively if you're going to stop working. For me, it was volunteering that has helped me more than anything else- in a foodbank. It's talking to people, but people who want to be there, who want to talk to me, and it feels different and less pressured than a job. I feel good about it and about myself and I don't worry myself sick about it, it's been so good for me. Another option is you could volunteer in the warehouse for example too, at my foodbank it's a 4 hour shift and you barely need to talk to anyone, just get on with your tasks. But I think finding a way to talk to people without pressure is good.

Some employers are more disability friendly, have you tried looking at something like the civil service?

You need to apply for PIP. Your autism is the root of depression, anxiety, social phobia and agoraphobia. There are no medals for soldiering on if it makes you want to die. You will run out of 'spoons'. You need support that allows you to keep living in the short term and strategies that can allow you to live your life to its fullest in the longer term.

Well I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and social phobia with agoraphobia by a GP when I was 18, and I have my autism diagnosis. I don't have any card or I guess evidence of the GP diagnosis though, and I'm with a different Practice and GP now. Will it be on my records?
Oh and I took CBT when I was 18 and have been on anti depressants ever since.

Thank you so much everyone for the information on PIP. I'm going to apply for that as my first step.

I've been looking into ESA as well but it's so hard to know where to start. And I have so many questions. Like, how often do you get reassessed? And what happens when you get to pension age, do you get a full pension?

I feel like with some changes I could keep going in my current job, but I don't think my employer would allow it ... Eg. If only all communication could be done via email and not face to face meetings. :( that would help but I don't think they'd agree to it.

Yes definitely apply they can only say no. Also look into ongoing treatment I guess as it's no way to live x

Yes - absolutely

Ive never been able to work a combination of my ASD, ADHD and EDS and the severe childhood abuse I was put through which altered my mind in such a negative way I don’t function like other people and rarely leave the house. I get PIP enhanced rate for both components and UC with no work commitments due to LCWRA