Any there any good things about being the middle child?

[Lelophants]

Just curious really and not thinking about having a third child 😳

@1offnamechange nope but the social services involvement helps frame my childhood as shitty. That good enough for you? Small things like that window seat matter to young children and despite constantly asking I never got to move seats; neither sister would swap for the smaller middle seat with the axel hump to rest your feet on. As I said, parents, parenting and the personalities of the children matter too.

I actually had 4 siblings but my oldest was a boy who was the apple of my Mums eye precious firstborn and a boy😀
Then 3 girls born 2 years apart so it always felt like we were a three. I am the middle one. My oldest sister was the clever one my youngest the cute one. Me I was just the middle not clever and not cute. I grew up feeling invisible and without a strong sense of who I was because it just felt like parents had no interest in me or anything I enjoyed or was good at.
I suppose that in general it comes down to bad parenting although I think the male/female birth order plays a big part. School also seemed to make me feel like that. Always being compared to my sisters.
Can anyone who is the middle of three girls relate to that?
Did you do or say anything at the time?
I never talked about the way I was made to feel( we don't do those types of conversations in our family.) I did rebel in school always up to trouble, rule breaking and endless uniform violations. Trying to stand out and be different.
So although I chose not have three because of being a middle I think if you know you will love them all equally, be interested in them individually and nurture their different personalities then you will be fine
Oh and don't be have favourites and don't label them

The oldest Can't seem to edit on the app

I have three children (aged 12 - 18) and I asked them what they thought.
Eldest says: Just don't be a shit parent and it'll be fine. It's worse to be the youngest. I'd hate having to live up to a high bar precedent.
Middle says: What's a prediment? It's good being the middle one because you get treated like the oldest but you don't have the pressure, and you can opt out and be one of the younger ones when you want to. Best of both worlds.

Youngest says: How long is this going to take? Can I go to my room now?
Cat says: Mrrrp.

On reflection I think it's best to be the family cat.

Me and brother are the middle kids.
We are quite similar in temperament.
Both independent, diplomatic, keep out of other peoples dramas, resilient and resourceful, easy going and social, although my brother is a real extrovert, I’m more introverted. I like my own space.
I don’t like asking people for help or favours.

My brother & I both did well in school, unproblematic as kids/teens, which meant our parents gave us more freedom. It was great for us as teens, we got away with more!

There's nothing bad about being a middle sibling, ime.

I never felt ignored or anything like that. Mum & dad have always treated us the same (I will say that the youngest 2 have definitely been more spoilt and wrapped in cotton wool though)

Hmmmm - I see you haven't met my kids

My DH would say no... which is why I wasn't allowed to have three kids!

As a middle child there is nothing good I can think of. I got forgotten about growing up and left to it. All these years later its still happening. My dm favours my youngest sibling over me and our older sibling to the point trying to ruin my wedding got brushed under the carpet because it's fine she didn't want to go anyway 😔
That's why I am sticking with 2 children and won't be swayed on having more. Plus I find with 2 logistics are easier too

You have a choice of playing older or younger than your age.

I'm the eldest of three - girl, boy, girl. I hope my brother doesn't feel the way some people on this thread do! From my perspective, he's the most well-adjusted of us all. Interesting career, strong marriage, great social skills, easy-going, self-sufficient. My sister and I don't get on at all and contact each other only when absolutely necessary, but we both get on with our brother.

I think this depends on family situation. I'm the eldest and due to family circumstances this is what my upbringing taught me

Those middle children saying it was awful and that you subsequently wouldn’t have 3 children, do you think if your parents had stopped at two that everything would have been fine? Because it just seems odd to me that you would have a perfectly functional loving family with two children then when you go to three you just automatically start to ignore your second child. I can understand when a pregnancy is unexpected and/or the family doesn’t have the resources to look after 3 children that could have an impact on everyone but I don’t really understand the assumption that a third child will just automatically be detrimental specifically to the second child.

They sound like awful parents, and little to do with being a middle child.

I think a lot of these posts are about dysfunctional families. It would likely have made little difference if there were 2 or 3 children in the situation

I’m the middle child and my parents treated us all the same and I have never felt less than. Maybe because I have an older and younger brother. Brother 1 was special because he was the eldest, I was special because I was the only girl and brother 2 was the baby of the family and that made him special.

The middle child in my family was the only boy, so I don't think he ever felt the middle child effect - same as if he'd have been the only girl I suppose! Poor him having both an older and younger sister though😆

I married a middle child and out of the three siblings, I picked the best of the bunch!

They make great partners as they can compromise and know other people might have different opinions.

My sisters think I got preferential treatment being the eldest.

Not really, I was the learning curve, my parents were easier on them. I got all the responsibility and knew more about my parents problems, they didn't know the half of it. There was more money around for them too at that point.

Being the eldest wasn't all beer and skittles.

I'm a middle child. It's been one of the reasons I stopped at 2. I had a good childhood, but just felt a constant craving for more attention and I think it was one of the main reasons I suffered with bad self-esteem for many years.

When I had my second child I realised how much harder it is to divide my attention than it was with one and I can see how that just gets trickier the more you have. It was reassuring in a way, because I know now it's not about loving one child more than the other, it's just the demands of motherhood that prevented my mum from giving some of the one-on-one attention that I craved.

Very few things on this thread reflect anything other than parenting styles and decisions.

Middle children will often develop quite a rounded perspective on other people because they are dealing with older and younger children at the same time. But lots of other life circumstances can have the same result.

If parents are paying significantly less attention to one child, or spoiling one child, or allowing older children to bully younger children, that's a problem.

No. Can’t think of any! Eldest is golden child who can do no wrong, youngest is family pet. Either the two eldest were picking on the youngest, or the two younger ones were annoying the eldest…No way I’d contemplate having three! 2 or 4 is the only way!

Most middle children I know are v lovely.

I think it depends on the family. Me and DH are both youngest of three and have three ourselves. In all of our families the middle child is the opposite sex to the other two and has had a lot of attention. In my family my DB was a bit of a golden child - sporty, creative, excelled at school went to Oxbridge etc. I definitely felt he was the favourite.

In our own family, I'm pretty close to my middle child daughter who's now 19. We've just been on holiday together and for a while she did a hobby that required a big commitment in terms of time and money which I supported her with without question. I really think it depends on the dynamics of the individual family and personality of the children.

I liked being the middle child!
My parents were more relaxed and less strict with me than they were with my older brother and less overbearing than they were with my baby brother

There is a biggish gap between me and my younger brother though so I got time to enjoy being the baby and by the time my brother came along I was at an age where I thought babies were cute excited to have a younger sibling to fuss over

I felt exactly the same! Just got on with things and was given the space to do so.