Any there any good things about being the middle child?

[Lelophants]

Just curious really and not thinking about having a third child 😳

Nah,no redeeming features to being a middle child . Oldest got the privilege, locked me out of the bedroom to study. Youngest skived off and played. I ended up cooking and cleaning.
ok it does make you flexible and one to compromise.
I have 2DC ,I couldn’t have made my DD. a middle

I am a middle of three. Growing up I always wished there had been a fourth as I felt quite alone at times. I am now very independent and the most successful of the three if you measure that on career/income and intact marriage but I don't have strong bonds with my family other than my older sibling and that only came in the last decade or so.

This is such a terribly sad way of looking at it, I’m sorry you feel this way. Respectfully, I absolutely disagree. I’m a middle child and I’ve never felt that way, op, if it helps! Yes my oldest sibling is definitely the golden child to a degree but of the rest of us (5) we were all treated pretty equally, any differences weren’t down to age or position in the family anyway!
Someone posted upthread saying how the middle child is more roundly liked, and that I’ve found to be true 🤣 I don’t really fall out with any of my siblings, but goodness do they clash with each other at times! Coincidental I expect.
If you have the time, love and resources for another child, don’t let any thoughts of ‘middle child’ issues come into play.

like a pp said, my middle is adored by her sibs and she worships them. The other two are fine but don't get on as well. The popular kids at my school and uni were always middles. I agree that eldest are usually the most woeful and put upon. My middle really shines, she the cleverest of them and she's professional club level at her sport. Maybe she does it for attention but I think she's just very level headed and not easily distracted like the other two.

^^ This describes my DH (third of four) to a T!

While it may mean that you get less attention in the family (certainly applies to him), it’s given him great life skills. People like him, because he’s nice and easy-going, but he’s not a pushover by any means, he’s always traveled his own path in life.

I'm the middle.

There's an aspect that you're aware, so you can make sure you don't do the typical:
"Oh you're old enough to do the washing up with the oldest, but the baby isn't." followed by "No, they're older than you so off to bed at the same time as the baby".

I remember feeling particularly irritated by being called along with my younger sibling as "the little ones." Fine when they're 2 and 6, but when you're 16, this is offensive to your dignity - especially in front of friends.

For me, I found that a lot of things I did, #1 had done it first (which was exciting) so it was no biggie for me. But then when #3 came to do it, they were the last, so a fuss was made. It did at times make me feel unimportant.

What I'd also recommend is making sure they do their own things. I found that what I did, #3 inevitably had to do. (not sure why, as I didn't do what #1 did, and #1 was both a girl and closer in age to me) And then you're feeling on your mettle the whole time. Because if you do much better, it's simply because you're older, and, hush, don't make too much about it because #3 will be upset; if you don't do much better then #3 must be brilliant at it, and you should be mature enough to be pleased for them, and praise them.

There's things that I gave up because I thought I was no good at that I have looked back as an adult and realised I was actually pretty reasonable at it, and #3 wasn't, but at the time it felt like they were brilliant and I was rubbish.

Part of it is personality. Both my siblings were probably ND, and with that quite awkward. So I was normally the one expected to compromise, and not mind. I rarely bothered saying I did, as it wasn't worth it.

But I chose to have 3 dc, so it obviously didn't bother me too much. I suspect #2 would tell you she has a really hard time of it, but actually she doesn't... She gets away with far more than she thinks she does.

No..the oldest is the golden child and youngest a wonderful baby…the middle (me!) well you are just the middle.

No

Me too 😄

I have four so there's "two" in the middle so they have each other to be middle buddies with. Less lonely that way😆

@tribalmango @Runn8ngOnEmpty That’s what I say to my DH, I’ve got the best one!
I certainly wouldn’t want his older brother, he’s high maintenance!

I'm a middle child, and I have three children - I did not consider stopping at two just to avoid anyone being a middle

It's very hard to be objective about your own childhood, but mine was reasonably happy, and I've never attributed any of the normal ups and downs to my position within the family.

Now, as an adult, I'm often struck with the thought that I am the most contented person I know. Again, hard to say if any of that is due to birth order, but I am extremely self-sufficient, am generally an optimist, and love my own company. I have a good relationship with my parents, although I'm aware that I never rely on them for emotional support, and am close to both my siblings. The grandchildren are all equally loved and doted on.

I love this! Thank you. I also know people who don’t like being the oldest of the youngest, so it does seem strange that being in the middle is such a thing.

I’m a middle and I can honestly say the order in which my brothers and I were born had no bearing whatsoever on our upbringing or my experience of life. I never think about it and I have never thought about it. It just is. Being the only girl- that’s where the differences come in (not because of my parents in particular, just because of the world)

I'm the oldest of 3 and think our middle one had the easiest time of us all. Having said that he's so laid back he would probably have breezed through anything unscathed!

I am the middle of 3- I thought it was great. I didn't have to fight for freedoms like my older sibling. I didn't get stuck at home on my own with our difficult mother like my youngest sibling. I was close enough in age to both my siblings that they'd play well with me, but they didn't play so much with each other as the age gap there was a bit big. When we played practical jokes on each other it was always the eldest and me against the youngest, or youngest and me against the oldest. Noone ever pranked me. I thought it was quite a powerful place to be honestly.

I think @MargaretThursday sums it up, parents can lump the middle child in with either the eldest or youngest depending on the situation and always to their advantage never the middle child. As a middle child when I met Dh I was absolutely determined to only have 2 children which I have done. Memories of my poor older sister sat with some random stranger on a fairground ride or by herself because my younger sister and I were either together or with a parent each. We shared a bedroom so it made us close (plus close in age) so my eldest sister always felt left out.

If you met me in real life you wouldn't know that my childhood was awful with this dynamic, always sitting in the middle in the car, never next to a window. Dh knows everything and it does come down to how parents parent you plus personalities of the children too.

We have a lot of siblings sets of three in our family so maybe we're all used to it! My middle child is very popular and outgoing, more independent than his older brother, so that fits a bit with some others experiences. He has a particular talent/hobby that now requires one parent or the other to drive him long distances for competitions, so he gets tons of 1:1 time and attention for his skill. I think that helps. He has struggled a little more than his older brother know what he wants to do in life, but I think that's more because he is young in the year rather than because he is the middle.

And all three always have someone to talk to and play with, and also time on their own.

I think as long as you have the time and resources to give each child what they need it's all good and birth order isn't the be all and end all.

Oh and we are scrupulously fair about window seats and bedroom size! Also about handed down clothes etc so he has certainly developed his own identity.

exactly this. In my family the middle child is the opposite of overlooked - they were the loudest and most sociable so they got the most attention. The most argumentative too, not the peacemaker!

positives would be they get the benefit of interaction with both siblings - often the age difference between youngest and oldest is too much for them to have much in common as kids but middle can spend time with both.

also they might not have the positives of eldest/youngest but also don't have ay of the negatives - aren't expected to be the most responsible, aren't fussed over as much because they are the first child/baby, etc.

If you met me in real life you wouldn't know that my childhood was awful with this dynamic, always sitting in the middle in the car, never next to a window.

Your childhood was awful because you never got a window seat in the car? I hope this is some sort of bizarre joke because otherwise the self-absorption and lack of awareness is off the charts!

My sibling who's the middle child is the most sensible of all.

I had an ex who was a middle child and genuinely thought it was the best thing. His dilemma was that he wanted to have three children as he'd had so much fun growing up with his brothers but thought that the oldest and youngest would miss out on so much compared to the middle child that it was perhaps better to have two so that neither of them felt left out! He didn't think it would be fair on the oldest & youngest to have four as then there would be two in the middle who had had such a good time that the contrast would be even starker.
His love on it was based on the fact that he always had someone to play with and that there was never any pressure on him.

Just realised that the age gap between DC2 and DC3 was probably too large to say that DC2 was the middle child.

Same here.