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Original poster

How do I do this!!

29 replies

Londonparisnewyork · 08/08/2024 22:27

Potty train my 2y7m stubborn DS. He refuses to go to a potty a toilet

anytime we’ve tried he has accidents gets worked up or tries to hold them in

how do I potty train? Hes so anti going the loo and sometimes doesn’t even want me to take his nappy off

OP posts:
Elisheva · 08/08/2024 22:28

Wait and try again in a few months

Original poster
Londonparisnewyork · 08/08/2024 22:31

Elisheva · 08/08/2024 22:28

Wait and try again in a few months

I’m worried he’s getting older and still so anti potty though :(

I felt worse as I picked him up from nursery and a little boy who’s a month older I heard the girl give the dad his daily report and she said he had no accidents been going on the potty

and I feel like my little boy is so far away from it I don’t know how to get him there

OP posts:
Inthesnug · 08/08/2024 22:32

My DS was over 3 when he finally potty trained. At 12 he manages to go to the toilet perfectly well Grin I don't think the few months he was in nappies longer than his peers affected him.

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Families Potty training
ienjoyeatingcake · 08/08/2024 22:34

Just wait. There's no rush (unless there is, i.e preschool?). It'll make life much easier if you do it when he's fully ready. I trained both my boys at 3 and we never had any fuss, no accidents, and they took to it quickly because they were ready. A friend of mine pushed both her children before they were even 2 and she had a nightmare with it, I never understood why she couldn't wait. Good luck xxx

TheOneWithUnagi · 08/08/2024 22:36

I had the same experience at 2yrs 8 months and got so stressed. Once my child turned 3 it was just so easy. Just wait for a bit.

AssassinsEyebrow · 08/08/2024 22:37

Bribery. Boys can be a bit lazier than girls - some chocolate or chocolate raisins can have them completing potty training within a few short weeks.

Edingril · 08/08/2024 22:38

We just let our child do it when they wanted too trying to force a child just because you feel bad anothet child does it is not the answer

Original poster
Londonparisnewyork · 08/08/2024 22:44

Edingril · 08/08/2024 22:38

We just let our child do it when they wanted too trying to force a child just because you feel bad anothet child does it is not the answer

I don’t feel bad that another child has , I mentioned it because I know he’s not that much older than DS and I know DS’ cousin who’s 2.5 months younger is potty trained so I think I’m failing as he’s inbetween age and doesn’t seem near it

OP posts:
Original poster
Londonparisnewyork · 08/08/2024 22:45

I feel like I’m failing and feel so lost :( I don’t know what I’m doing

he just tantrums and throws his potty

OP posts:
foodtoorder · 08/08/2024 22:56

Don't force the issue. If he doesn't want to do it he may not be ready.

Feeling stressed about it will make it worse. Children develop so individually, it can't be pushed.

Take a breather from it, keep talking about it with them and try again in a month or so.

Sonolanona · 09/08/2024 00:24

I've potty trained a LOT of children.. 4 of my own, one grandchild and many nursery aged children.
They vary hugely. Some are ready at 2. Some at 3. They have to be physically ready AND emotionally ready, and if you push when they are resisting it just becomes a battle of wills.

Take a break for two months. Then... think about what he loves most in the word... be it chocolate buttons, toy cars, whatever. Then buy a stack.

Show him, explain that when he pees in the potty he can chose a car or whatever, and then put the reward somewhere he can see but not access. Then leave his bum free, and the potty nearby, remind him that he gets his reward when he uses the potty,.. and see what happens.

My DGD was physically ready but not ready to cooperate. One bag of cheap toy cars from Amazon on a high shelf and two days later he ran to the potty, sat and wee-d. So he chose a car. After a few days we downscaled it to chocolate buttons for a wee and a car for a poo. By the time we ran out of cars he was happy and confident to use to potty!

Bribery is a useful tool sometimes Grin

SeLHopeful2024 · 09/08/2024 00:45

Londonparisnewyork · 08/08/2024 22:44

I don’t feel bad that another child has , I mentioned it because I know he’s not that much older than DS and I know DS’ cousin who’s 2.5 months younger is potty trained so I think I’m failing as he’s inbetween age and doesn’t seem near it

Show quote history

You're not failing, you have a different child and you're doing great!

I was forced to try potty training my DS at 2yr7mo (childminder was adamant he was ready) it was hell.
We abandoned it a week and even the childminder said she'd never had to quit before. My DS was just having none of it.

We then tried again at 2yrs 11mo and it made all the difference. After (obviously) a few accidents he just 'got it' the second time.

Give yourself a break and try again in a few months.

SeLHopeful2024 · 09/08/2024 00:48

@Sonolanona I love your advice.

In our desperation we used 'pig coins' (M&S chocolate coins from Christmas) and in the end he was asking to 'earn' his coins by using the potty.

Raindancer411 · 09/08/2024 01:18

My son and daughter I just did it when they were ready. If they said no, I didn't push it. Son was also or just over 4 when he did and daughter was just over 3. As I didn't push, they got it very quickly and we had accidents once they did.

Go with the flow

Original poster
Londonparisnewyork · 09/08/2024 07:32

There’s definitely a gap with his understanding etc. as he says ‘no wee’ / ‘no poo’ before he does stuff (most of the time) but also he’s hating his nappy being changed

it’s such a battle and I feel like we’re getting further away from potty training :(

so how do I approach I heard you have to go full blown approach but do I just ease into it how do I ease

OP posts:
AssassinsEyebrow · 09/08/2024 07:42

Seriously, op, try bribery- chocolate

Monkeybutt1 · 09/08/2024 07:45

Leave it. Much to my MILs dismay DS was just over 3 we left it until he was ready and asked to wear big boy pants. He was so excited to wear them it was a breeze with barely any accidents

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 09/08/2024 07:50

He’s not ready. I’d leave the potty out so he can get used to it but don’t try to make him yet. I tried my dd at that age and she ended up withholding poo which went on for quite a while and was awful. She ended up trained at 3.4 and went through the night shortly after. The poo withholding continued though.

Blessedbethefruitz · 09/08/2024 07:55

Absolutely leave it. If you give them a complex about it, it'll take much longer. Our boy was the same at 2.5, but I kept pushing it. Then I left it a while after his sister was born. He was 3.5 when like pp, he suddenly decided he wears pants now. He had 1 accident at that was it. He was the oldest in his nursery room, but we didn't care. He was ready for school which is the main thing :)

Cryingatthegym · 09/08/2024 07:58

so how do I approach I heard you have to go full blown approach but do I just ease into it how do I ease

My DS (just turned 3) has taken a lot longer to potty train than my daughter did. I eased into it with him by just introducing the idea of the potty, talking about it, and by asking him if he'd like to try using it after every nappy change. In particular just after getting up and just before going to bed. If he said no, no problem.

Gradually he became more confident with trying it, and going at those times became a bit of a habit. When he seemed more ready, I bought a bag of sweets and spent about 4 days at home with him with no pants on. On day one, he got a sweet every time he sat on the potty. On day two, he got a sweet every time he weed on the potty. On day 3, he got a sweet for doing a poo.

It's taken a few weeks and he's still having the odd accident, but we're getting there. Yesterday was the first day I took him out in pants rather than pull ups and he stayed dry. So I agree with others, go gently, go at his pace and use bribery. And don't stress! He'll get there eventually.

Inspireme2 · 09/08/2024 08:05

Firstly if it is not working atm and it is to stressful do leave it.
I found toilet training a boy took longer and was more hesitant to try.
I asked nursery to help by prompting to ask if he needed to go.
Wearing underwear when at home to feel the sensation of wet, soiled.
I ditched the potty for ladder toilet seat.
Bribery with stickers.
In the end it happend because his buddies, family used the toilet.

Crunchymum · 09/08/2024 08:38

Don't compare your child to others.

I'd say he's still very young to toilet train.

Give it a few weeks and then while the weather is decent, give him lots of nappy free time.

He may not like the potty so get a step for the toilet and a child toilet seat. Two of my three never used a potty and went straight for the toilet.

Don't rush it or force it otherwise it becomes an issue for everyone.

Peakpeakpeak · 09/08/2024 08:45

Couldn't get either of mine to take any interest at all at that age. Gave it another six months and they both cracked it within a day. I was exactly the same, I'm told, so it's obvious where they got it from!

DC are just ready for different things at different times.

Original poster
Londonparisnewyork · 09/08/2024 12:15

Thanks for the tips all❤️ just had a bad moment felt like a shit mum because I haven’t cracked this and he hates even trying

so maybe just keep asking potty but toilet an option too ? Think I need to park for at least a month or so by the sounds of it he’s so anti it I don’t want to make a fear and then delay actual potty training

if I wait and do it the right time he could be around/just before 3

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 09/08/2024 12:20

Honestly, just wait, trying to potty train a not ready child is an absolute nightmare, training a ready child is pretty easy.

I found with mine that they were ready once they could 'wee on demand.' So sit on the potty, and wee with no fuss. Once they could do that, which I found was more a matter of age than 'training' it was just a case of keeping them empty, so keep sending them to wee before you got to the stage where it would spill over. Both of mine literally took about 48 hours using this method. I did try DS too early (first child) and it was ridiculous, so I stopped and waited and this worked!