Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Let down by friend

34 replies

Enigma60 · 04/08/2024 18:34

A close friend is persistently late for everything and I tolerated this for years, she appears not to care how it affects me or others in our circle of friends. In fact she usually makes a joke of it. She doesn’t have children to sort out, or any real commitments to stop her being ready on time.
On the most recent occasion her lateness affected all of my guests, people were standing around awaiting her arrival, food was spoiling on the table etc. People were prompting me to start without her, there was no excuse as the invitation was written with a clear time of arrival. She arrived 40 mins late with no apology.
This time I privately asked her why she was so late and explained our friends had been kept waiting. She didn’t have an explanation and stormed out of my house slamming the door on her way out.
I feel hurt. One of our friends thought she would apologise the next day when she had reflected, however it was quite the reverse, she blocked me on all social media and removed herself from my contacts. The general feeling though was that she’s done me a favour as her disrespect has gone on for far too long. I am shocked though, her reaction suggests she thinks it is perfectly ok to treat people this way.

OP posts:
Dobest · 04/08/2024 18:36

Why did you let the other guests' food lie around and spoil?

Berlinlover · 04/08/2024 18:38

She sounds awful, you’re well rid of her.

Justmuddlingalong · 04/08/2024 18:39

She's rude and has obviously gotten away with it for years.
Someone actually pulling her up on it has been a shock to her system.
Be grateful she's blocked you and enjoy future events without waiting on someone who thinks she's too special to arrive on time.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Enigma60 · 04/08/2024 18:45

Dobest, I don’t quite understand the reasoning behind your question, the food was a buffet, it was a very warm evening and other than clearing the table and placing the food in the fridge to ensure it didn’t go off I’m not sure what else I could’ve done.
Do you think I should’ve done that? Then when she arrived inconvenience all of our guests again by resetting the food out and delaying the evening further.
It’s one thing having her persistent lateness affect me, but on this occasion I had others to consider, and to be honest I felt embarrassed.

OP posts:
Enigma60 · 04/08/2024 18:47

Justmuddlingalong, thank you, that’s the general feedback I’ve had from friends x

OP posts:
Heelworkhero · 04/08/2024 18:48

I would have had everyone start eating and if she was too late for food, so be it.

Doggymummar · 04/08/2024 18:49

I would have started without her. Tough shit on her.

SauviGone · 04/08/2024 18:50

Your friend was really rude.

As were you - delaying serving food to everyone that arrived on time. To the point that People were prompting me to start without her. How embarrassing, they must have been starving.

You should have served up the food at the time planned, and given your friend the dregs of what was left when she arrived.

Lovelynames123 · 04/08/2024 18:51

I wouldn't have waited, I'd have told everyone to eat. Persistent lateness is so rude, basically saying her time is more important than yours. Be glad she's huffed off!

AmandaHoldensLips · 04/08/2024 18:52

I had a friend like this. It was inexplicable. I would still serve at the allotted time and then when she turned up (with her family) hours late, she would looked shocked that we'd all eaten and cleared away. No idea what she was thinking.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 04/08/2024 18:54

Making everyone wait until The Grand Arrival gives her more power and feelings of importance. Be glad she's in the rear view mirror.

Hatty65 · 04/08/2024 18:54

I agree with all the others saying you should have gone ahead without her.

I'd have said to people, 'Grab a plate and help yourself, folks' about 5 mins after the time you were clear on. If she'd arrived to a buffet table that looked like locusts had descended on it, then that was her own fault.

Yes she was rude, but you were peculiar to have everyone hanging around eyeing up a buffet for 40 mins because one flaky person hadn't yet arrived.

BrightLightTonight · 04/08/2024 18:55

Enigma60 · 04/08/2024 18:45

Dobest, I don’t quite understand the reasoning behind your question, the food was a buffet, it was a very warm evening and other than clearing the table and placing the food in the fridge to ensure it didn’t go off I’m not sure what else I could’ve done.
Do you think I should’ve done that? Then when she arrived inconvenience all of our guests again by resetting the food out and delaying the evening further.
It’s one thing having her persistent lateness affect me, but on this occasion I had others to consider, and to be honest I felt embarrassed.

I think Dobest was asking why didn’t you allow the other guests to start the buffet rather than waiting for flaky friend, nit out the food away until rude friend decided to turn up

MapleTreeValley · 04/08/2024 18:56

Agree with posters saying you should have just started without her.

NetflixAndKill · 04/08/2024 18:58

Another one for starting without her. The trash took itself out btw

Starlightstarbright3 · 04/08/2024 18:59

I would have served food - when she was late make it clear she missed food welcome to a drink.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/08/2024 18:59

No one would be waiting to eat here if one person was late and was known for being late.
Just be glad she's taken herself out of your life op, she couldn't even apologise so good riddance.

DoreenonTill8 · 04/08/2024 19:07

Why on earth would you make people wait to eat for 40 MINUTES?!

Roryno · 04/08/2024 19:13

I wouldn’t worry. All your friend’s witnessed her rudeness. She’s saved you the effort of blocking her etc. However I’d be tempted to send her a “YOU’RE FUCKING RUDE!!” postcard justo her house!

MumChp · 04/08/2024 19:15

Dobest · 04/08/2024 18:36

Why did you let the other guests' food lie around and spoil?

This!

And why keep inviting if she is careless about the invitation?

sanogo · 04/08/2024 19:18

She sounds very entitled and as though she likes the upset and attention her lateness causes

I wouldn't tolerate somebody like that. Hopefully you will never hear from her again

RampantIvy · 04/08/2024 19:18

I don’t quite understand the reasoning behind your question, the food was a buffet, it was a very warm evening and other than clearing the table and placing the food in the fridge to ensure it didn’t go off I’m not sure what else I could’ve done.

Simple. I would have told my guests to start without her.

Enigma60 · 04/08/2024 19:21

Hatty65 yes you’re right, I made a bad decision there. I’ve certainly learned from it

OP posts:
Enigma60 · 04/08/2024 19:28

I think the general feeling here is that we should have all started without her, and on reflection I agree, I was out of order waiting around for her. Thanks to everyone for your input and comments.
Roryno… your post amused me, one of our friends said exactly that about her.
It’s not a nice feeling to lose a friend but that is what’s happened and I can do nothing about it, I’m coming round to the idea it’s for the best, and our friends are fully supportive of that.

OP posts:
Enigma60 · 04/08/2024 20:22

sanogo · 04/08/2024 19:18

She sounds very entitled and as though she likes the upset and attention her lateness causes

I wouldn't tolerate somebody like that. Hopefully you will never hear from her again

Thank you, I’ve reached the conclusion that my life will be more settled without her in it

OP posts: