Do you like having no plans - am I boring?

[treacledan71]

Mid 50s. Teenage child so easy childcare except mentally lol. Work full time hybrid so in office 2 to 3 days a long days a week so do see people. Got nice friends I message alot. Local ones work different shifts and weekends. Other half works every other weekend. He suggested go out tonight but now doing an extra tomorrow and starts early. I feel so happy now stopping in. Get housework done and chill. I read the thread of Lucysmom of what people are doing today and feel a bit boring. I do have plans over next month. A work leaving event, a night in hotel with DH and sorting lunch with my friends that work shifts which I will enjoy. I don't drive either and money is a bit tight. DH goes out once a month with his friends. My work colleague sort of said I am boring but I just love Saturday nights in. Is anyone the same?

Your work colleague is rude. Everyone is different and enjoying time at home is nothing to be ashamed of. Do what makes you happy.

Thanks. Yes she has quite a lot of money so a meal to her out is nothing. Where I could do my weekly shopping with what she spends. I don't think she it totally happy in her life.

If you are happy doing what you enjoy that is what the weekends are for.

You like what you like and as long as what you do or don’t do is not harming others or yourself what does it matter? I’m one of many sisters and one of them is like you, she is a peaceful soul and loves reading and doing crafts and restoring old furniture. She doesn’t leave the house now retired unless she has to. I’m the opposite and love trying new stuff, I have tried so many hobbies in my life it’s a bit of a joke and many have been a one and done and it’s not for me. My sister’s life would not suit me and mine would not suit her. I haven’t told her yet but I’m planning on travelling round the UK and Europe for a couple of years when DH retires and she will not be able to hide how distasteful that is to her. She won’t say a word as she is not rude but I will see it in her eyes.

Your colleague is incredibly ill mannered.

We rarely make plans, other than appointments (doctor, dentist, vet, weddings etc) our diaries are empty which allows us to be spontaneous (when we want to be🙂).

Everyone is different, some people feel the need to live by a schedule and always be doing something whereas others (us) like to bimble through.

When we were working there was more structure to our lives but we retired in our mid-50's and now we just please ourselves.
Not saying we don't do things, just yesterday we decided to go away next week and make the most of the cooler weather walking the SW coast path.

Your saturday preferences sound very cozy to me 😊

Ahh thank you all for your comments. Enjoy your hols. I did have a few days away last week so it's not as if I don't do anything. She just mentioned when she asks me what I am doing I mainly say not a lot. Supposes money is a factor too ie just not going for a meal when I feel like it. She has no kids either and my teenager comes first money wise. I wld not say that to her though as I think she would have loved kids.

I love having no plans, just staying home! I think many people do.

But
It's important for my mental health to get out of the house and do things, and when I'm out doing activities I'm usually really happy.

Can't remember the last time I went out on a Saturday night! I love cooking a nice meal (ok I don't love the cooking part) and watching a series or movie either my teenage DD (she doy socialise much either and is off to uni soon so these days are numbered).
When I go out either friends it's normally a daytime brunch or lunch. It would have to be something really special to get me out of an evening!
Actually I tell a lie - I was out last Saturday night with my son celebrating his 21st - see a special occasion!

Is anyone the same?

Yes! I love not having plans

You are definitely one of my people. I see other parents of my son's friends doing day trips to London and various other activities, with very full schedules, and I would much prefer to be at home. I think this is in part due to not really having cash to splash.

A Saturday without a plan and the night in is my idea of heaven add the Sunday on too and i couldn't be happier.
Iv'e done enough 'going out' to last a lifetime , still like the odd night out but staying in is what i do best ,especially after a week of work and life in general.
Spare money or not if you and your husband are happy with life then that's all that matters.

I have the exact same situation with a friend of mine. She requires constant stimulation, has to have her diary filled with events , weeks in advance, timetabled to the hour, and thinks my life is boring. We're both doing what pleases us... but I do resent her attitude of judgment on me.

In her case, her busy-ness is borne of anxiety and ADHD. She also has an adult PDA profile and Some traits of autism. She is very rigid and cannot be spontaneous or go with the flow. If something unexpected crops up, it throws her off balance. She is insecure at heart and is always "competing" to appear popular and successful but on her terms, as she defines it. But nobody else is trying to "beat" her.

I love being at home and enjoy my own company. I also have 'hobbies' that I work away quietly on but at a very high level. I don't think she understands that most people don't have a restless insatiable need to keep moving and she values herself - and thus other people- in these terms.

Somehow, we are loyal long term friends and have a great laugh together. I love her dearly.

Yes some people always need to be doing things. We don't have much family either and couple of my friends single so not many couple things. I def think money is an issue. Spent 100.00 on a curry for 3 of us with starters and drinks when away and did cheaper food but could not do that all the time. I work with a man that is quite posh/middle class and rich, never brags though, and know they go out mid week with friends for meals as well as Saturdays.

I don’t like having all my time planned out miles in advance, room for spontaneity is good, but if there is a day with no plans I will make plans and fill it. Sometimes I think to myself, “might just stay in” but I can’t do it, I will either find reasons to go to the shops, the allotment, a garden centre or whatever send out a group chat to friends to see if anyone’s free for coffee or pack up the car and head off somewhere (with or without DH and the teen DCs). We are all a bit the same, none of us can stay in the house all day. But I recognise that everyone is different and some would hate living like I do.

I have younger kids who have scheduled activities like football, swimming etc but I like nothing more than a weekend with no plans to potter around the house. I struggle to spend on eating out and drinks - I just find it so extortionate - so I don't really arrange anything. I do have friends and we arrange get togethers so I have a reasonable social life but I don't work very hard at it!!

It is important for my mental health that I have time without no plans. I feel free and rested.

It is so much less stressful with no pressure to be anywhere.

You can do what you want and your colleague is super rude.

I like having no plans and can potter around cooking or doing crafts

@treacledan71

no you're certainly not alone!!

i never mind when people cancel something, I'm usually quietly pleased and just look forward to stopping in!!

I would like to be able to go out more but am quite restricted due to situation with DD15. Having said that, I sometimes love when a day is laid out before me with absolutely nothing planned.

You do you, @treacledan71 and don't let anyone tell you you're boring. Some of us don't want the stress of arrangements, planning, having to spend money we don't have. No fun in that, who needs all that pressure after working ft, no thank you.

I prefer very few plans but something nice to look forward to. DH and I went to a garden yesterday (we'd made the plan a few weeks ago when I had a day off).

we had a wonderful day - low effort, shoved a bit of picnic food in the camper and off we went. Gorgeous weather, nice chats with people walking round, no pretending to be anything, no being judged or keeping up appearances, just relaxing!

Came home after a lovely uncomplicated day and memorable day and all it cost was £20 for the garden visit, a bit of petrol and a nice coffee.

I love having no plans and just pottering around the house and garden, I went part time when dd was born and never went back full time when they went to school so I now have 2.5 days a week on my own to do what I want and I love it.

I often read comments on here from women who say they would go crazy if they didn't return to work or how it's boring being at home but I don't find it boring at all. I love the freedom and solitude.

Doesn't sound at all boring to me. I usually look forward to weekends when I have no plans. I'll watch cooking shows, get out for long walks, stop for coffee, read, browse local shops, drop into the library, perhaps meet a friend. I find things like these reset my mind after a week of what can be a stressful job. This is also why September is my favourite month, turn of the season and look forward to home cookings and heading into the cosy months. Have you heard of Hygge?

I love doing absolutely nothing. Staying home and chilling all day. No cooking, cleaning, talking to people. Just having a spliff and a glass of wine, playing with the cats, looking at my plants.
Bliss!