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Original poster

Would you remortgage to help your child get on the property ladder?

100 replies

SunshineonLeaves · 01/08/2024 22:22

I’m a 50 something single parent, average earner with a mortgage, a small amount of debt (car loan) and a few thousand in savings.

DC is 22, graduated last year and working with a reasonable decent salary. They are desperate to move out with partner and have saved a fair bit towards a deposit but it’s not enough. I don’t have enough savings to help them, their Dad can’t/wont and same for partner’s parents.

If I remortgaged my payments would obviously increase and I’d be taking on more debt but it would mean I could help them. Trouble is it’s taken me years to get in a half decent position financially and I’m concerned how it will affect my future - not getting any younger etc.

Would you help or should they make their own way?

OP posts:
NewName24 · 01/08/2024 22:24

No

BrightLightTonight · 01/08/2024 22:25

No

You can support your child by always being in the position of giving them somewhere to live - but they need to save in order to buy

startstopengine · 01/08/2024 22:26

I would look after yourself in this position and keep your payments low.

Help with time in the future when grandkids come along, give them love and support. I would been mortified if my mum had put herself in a bad financial situation for me.

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General money
Pombearprincess · 01/08/2024 22:27

No

bombastix · 01/08/2024 22:28

No. Brutally speaking, what are your plans for funding your retirement?

RaininSummer · 01/08/2024 22:29

No. You are not in a position to do that without jeopardising your own financial wellness.

cestlavielife · 01/08/2024 22:30

They don't need to buy a house at 22.
They can save til 32.

Takoneko · 01/08/2024 22:31

No way. You need to be clearing your mortgage and preparing for retirement.

AnnaMagnani · 01/08/2024 22:34

In your situation, no.

You can barely afford your own mortgage and need to plan for your own secure retirement. Your DC is only 22 which is young enough for them to have some years saving a deposit.

My DM used equity release to give me a deposit but:
Both of us were much older than you and your DC
I was long moved out and had a lot of deposit of my own
The equity release secured her retirement and I understood inheritance was gone

If your DC is that desperate to move in with their partner they will find a way and at 22 renting in a shared house is normal

Drizzlethru · 01/08/2024 22:34

No.

What happens when they break up and your daughter’s partner takes 50% and then she needs help staring again?

At 22 they have plenty of time to be frugal, no holidays, to save.

pbdr · 01/08/2024 22:36

If I could afford to do so and it wouldn't put me into financial difficulty, then yes I would. I would be willing to work for a few more years to help my children get onto the housing ladder.
If doing so would mean I would be in danger of not being able to afford my mortgage or support myself in retirement then no - I don't think it would be any favour to my child to do that.

Jellytotsandwinegums · 01/08/2024 22:42

I agree with PPs that she's too young for this to be a reasonable thing for you feel you have to do - if she was a 34 year old single mother, maybe she'd need your support, but at 22 she can rent with her boyfriend.
If rents are very high and they can't afford a pne bed, they can get a double room in a shared house, or become property guardians, and get a tiny rent, but no security of tenure.

If she really wants to save hard to buy, I think you could let her stay with you while she builds up sufficient savings for a deposit - that's what my parents did for me, and it was a huge help.

OpizpuHeuvHiyo · 01/08/2024 22:43

I wouldn't, no.

Once your children are adults the next priority is to get your mortgage paid off and ramp up your pension contributions. You might be alive a long time after retirement and you need to be financially stable in those years.

You give your children as much help as you reasonably can without compromising those priorities too much. Remortgaging is going way too far - you need to be overpaying to get your debt gone, not taking on more debt.

Whattodowithallthebooks · 01/08/2024 22:43

In your position no. You need to secure yourself financially. Your DD is 22, and if you can give her or even her and her partner somewhere to live rent free then they can save most of her earnings towards a deposit.

Dressinggownlife · 01/08/2024 22:46

No way. Why would you. Give them the opportunity of saving more by living with you for a few years and being able to save more. But don’t do this. I don’t believe it is wise

GradGirl · 01/08/2024 22:56

No, I wouldn’t. I do plan on downsizing when I retire at 68 and gifting DC, who will be 30 at that point a deposit or paying off a chunk of their mortgage if they have one. If they are partnered up/married I’ll register it as an interest at the land registry to protect it for them during my lifetime.

Also single parent with no one else to help them.

sleekcat · 01/08/2024 22:56

I definitely wouldn't do that. You still have your own mortgage and don't have the money to spare. You don't want to be remortgaging in your 50s - your goal should be to pay your mortgage off as soon as feasibly possible, which may allow you to help your daughter later on.
Let your daughter find her own way - you say she has a decent job so she could have a much higher salary in a few years. They can stay and home and save, or they can move in together and rent. I don't personally think it's a great idea to get a mortgage with someone if you've never lived with them, but I know it's impossible to save and pay rent.
My children know they won't get any help from me because I can't afford it.

Frenchsplit · 01/08/2024 22:58

No. I wouldn’t

EwwSprouts · 01/08/2024 23:01

Absolutely no. You are heading towards retirement and (fingers crossed not) potentially health issues. You need to be consolidating your finances not taking on a load more debt. How many 22 year olds do you know owning homes? They need to be realistic.

LBFseBrom · 01/08/2024 23:11

We did remortgage some years ago to help ours with something. I am glad we did and it turned out all right but it might be better to get some sort of loan for the amount they need. Talk to your bank. Your security is important, do put thaf first. Also remember your daughter is very young, by today's standards, to be buying a house with a partner. The relationship may not last.

I am impressed that two such young people have managed to save quite a bit though, I never could at 22, so kudos to them for that.

SallyWD · 01/08/2024 23:17

Definitely not

Twistybranch · 01/08/2024 23:18

Absolutely fucking not. Do not do this

He is young,has a decent career and a partner. He has the ability to afford his own home if he and his partner saves hard. He is 22, he has plenty time

You are single and in your 50s, you have to take care of your own financial future.

blackcherryconserve · 01/08/2024 23:19

22 year old DC can make their own way. If you no longer had a mortgage then maybe help but generally speaking you need to be taking care of your own future needs.

seven201 · 01/08/2024 23:43

No way. They're really young, they need to save. If you wanted to you could try and save a bit for them too.

Greytulips · 01/08/2024 23:46

I’d consider downsizing - but not for a couple of 22 year olds who may not last the distance.

They can work harder and move jobs etc same as we did.