Opinions on what you'd gift or not gift at a wedding for evening only invite

[Opaljewel]

I would just like a general consensus please on what your opinion is on wedding gift giving if you are an evening do invite only.

I've only ever been to invited previously to the full day so I don't know if this changes things.

Do people going on the evening do expected to give as big a gift as the day do people, such as the same amout of money? Do any of you just take a card? Or do any of you show up empty handed?

Please don't berate me by asking this. I'm not saying I'm turning up empty handed, I just want to know what most people do. I am ND and I feel a bit stupid asking people this in person because it sounds like I'm being tight. I'm not, I just want to know what the social more polite way is.

BTW, I aren't upset to not being invited to the day do. There are a lot of people this person knows including a huge family. I'm just happy to be invited! However, I realise it may come across like that being asked. Am just covering all bases.

Many thanks!

I would still give because I’d want to cover my cost per head- most weddings have evening food dj etc xx

Yes of course but I was asking what do people tend to give. What would you gift personally as an evening guest? I said I was definitely going to gift something. Or money or a voucher for house stuff. Or towards their honeymoon.

Perhaps I should have mentioned I meant literally what would you gift or do you in your own personal experience. Please.

As an evening guest I would take a card and nothing else.
Evening invites are more flexible and not about the service but more of a party

Do they have a list? Favourite retailer or restaurant? Tbh I don't feel a need to cover the cost, you either know the couple well enough to attend or not.

I would take a small gift around £10

Probably £20 gift voucher if 2 going.

I have been to a few with zero food for evening guests. I wished I'd given nothing but a card then.

I don't think you'll get a consensus!

I would give whatever I'd give to the couple, according to my relationship to them. I don't care about the difference between full day or evening only. I also don't think about 'covering their cost' of having me attend - that's their business, not mine, and feels too transactional.

If you think they would like it, a bottle of champagne is a reasonable evening gift.
Most of the evenings I have been to have been colleagues - where I have contributed to a whip round- or dc of friends - where the bride and groom were paying for a smaller wedding and I gave them money, mainly because I had some insights from my friend as to what best to do,

I got married last month. The majority of evening guests just gave a card, we had some cash gifts (mostly around £20-£30), some vouchers for John Lewis / Amazon / meals (for around £20), and a fair few bottles of champagne. In case it makes a difference, we had no gift lists and no beggy poems.

I'd probably take a card and eg John Lewis vouchers. As an eve only invite you wouldn't be a close friend or relative so I wouldn't give a personal gift.

Just a card is fine for an evening guest. It’s more of a party invite.

Evening weddings I put £50 in card and day ones £100. If close or brides paid £150
general consensus from my wedding most people put £50 in a card, few put £25 and few put £100. There were a few people who didn’t gift money and gave beautiful photo frame or champagne and flutes.

I never had evening only invite but if I woikd, I would definitely give something.
I think it depends on
who is this person to you,
are you invited with a plus one,
how much extra costs e.g travel and staying the night
does the invite mean special relationship somehow e.g most colleagues are not invited at all but you and the other colleague are invited.

£50 in a card from a couple. Probably £30 if it was just me

For one thing, I’d decline an evening only invitation as I’m no-one’s 2 tier guest. 😂

But if for some reason I felt obliged to attend, I’d give £50.

If there is a gift list go for something at the cheaper end for an evening invite if they have asked for money go half of what you would give as an all day gift.

Really just a card would you give your friend just a card for their birthday? Even as a gesture ?

As an evening guest I'd take a card and a nice bottle of wine/fizz

I tend to give £50 for an evening wedding.

I've only been an evening guest when it has been a colleague, and I would have given to the collection for the present from work, so therefore wouldn't take something on the day as well.
I think, if I were just invited as an evening guest, I would probably take a card and put £20 in it. But clearly that is going to depend on your budget.
I know champagne is often suggested on here, but please don't, unless you definitely know the couple love champagne. Not that many people do like it, so why would they want to end up with 18 bottles of it?

Just a card is fine for an evening guest. It’s more of a party invite.

But if I were invited to a birthday / leaving / anniversary / retirement / new home / any other party, I would take a present for the host, or stick a tenner in a card with suggestion they get themselves a drink at another point.

I generally give a gift, a lovely candle or maybe a figurine and fifty euro if I can, depending on how well I know the couple

What I want to the couple, never mind what type of invitation. I may be very close to a colleague or just friends. Sorry if that’s not helpful- gift lists are helpful for that!

Not comparable because a friend would be invited to the whole day, not as a previous poster put it, a second tier guest. Evening guests tend to be colleagues (in which case there’s already been a work collection) and people who aren’t particularly close to the newlyweds.

But actually on the subject, I would rather have the pleasure of my friend’s company and a card than a token gift!

It is comparable because that poster said it was just a party and you wouldn't go to a party with out a gift for the host. A card is just a PA dig at the bride and groom.

I give to people for their wedding depending on how well I know them/like them. It's not dependent on what kind of invitation I get, because that's just transactional and mercenary.
For example, the daughter of friends of ours gets married next year. We have known the friends for 40+ years, although we haven't seen the daughter for a few years. We definitely know we won't be going to the wedding as numbers are (necessarily) limited. But I'll still make sure to send a personalised card and (say) a £50 John Lewis voucher, as I care about the bride and want to congratulate her and her husband.
So stop making it about how much they spend on you, and just give based on your relationship.