I am absolutely fucking sick of being on a 'diet'.

[ThatsGoneAndDo]

My husband is 150lbs soaking wet and eats whatever he wants, when ever he wants and never gains. He's never even been a slightly bit tubby.

I've been on a mission to lose a few stone and worked really fucking hard.

In the last week I've not felt well, kids been off so I've been lax. Absolutely nothing crazy or glutinous at all. Normal routine but...
A piece of cake one day. Couple of slices of pizza for tea. Just normal things.

I've gained 7lbs. 7 fucking lbs from just going back to eating 'normally' without stringent calorie counting at 1200

I'm so sick of it. I just want to live a normal life and not gain weight.

I've always been this way. I gain so easily.

@2AND2GC I have sympathy- just came back from 10 days in Greece and I am 6lb heavier and certainly didn't go nuts and ate lots of salad too -I put it down to having approx 3 glasses of wine a day or1glass plus a couple of aperol spritz's a day - at 62 it seems to even keep stable (not lose weight) at around 13st 12 and a 16/18 -I literally have to stick to 1500 calories a day max and a couple of glasses twice a week max- and carbs under100 a day. I did eat a bit more bread than usual I admit- it's those hummus and tarasmalata plates. Looking rounds at what others eat though it's depressing- I eat way less

I listened to this podcast recently. It’s got no answers (other than life long use of weight loss drugs) but it was useful to understand why my partner remains so slim and I have always battled with my weight. And ultimately it helped me feel less ashamed of my weight.

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/zoe-science-nutrition/id1611216298?i=1000660424275

Walking 'several miles' would burn about 100 calories a mile. Walking 6k burns off almost 400 calories.

Which over a week would ordinarily not be enough calories to lose 3lb.

It may be in the first week of a new exercise plan though.

OP, I am also hypothyroid and have been on medication for 25 years.

If I put on weight that quickly it is always wheat. Every single time.

To put 7lbs of fat on you would need to have eaten nearly 30000 calories over an above what your body naturally burns.

you would notice eating an extra 30000 calories. It’s more like some water retention and/or inflammation.

If you are eating less calories than your burn you will lose fat. Conditions can make you hungrier, make you more tired so you don’t move much, have cravings etc. so it’s not always easy to just eat less and move more.

Your husband remains the same weight because he isn’t eating more than he burns. It’s frustrating that he can do it without thinking about it. I have been there. But I have had to accept that’s just not me. I need to reeducate myself about food and portions. Which is what I am doing now and despite being peri and having PCOS I am losing weight.

Food is such a wonderful thing to experience

That is the issue. I have found that naturally slim people are often (not always) simply not much interested in food, forget mealtimes occasionally, don't bother to snack because they are too interested in doing other things, and generally don't think much about food.
They eat purely to stop feeling hungry, then stop eating.

Absolutely sympathise. I run bloody miles every week with the dog, walk a lot too, eat as little as I can without fainting and was congratulating myself on being just over the nine stone mark at 63, so post menopause. I was also happy with my shape, being a nice rounded hourglass. But last week my daughter took a photo of me in a well fitted T shirt and knee length skirt - I am, apparently, a blob. All that work, all that hunger, and I look like a weeny little blob that's got weeny short legs and tits that hang to my waist.

I am on the verge of giving up totally and falling face down into a pile of cream cakes.

I used to feel like this and got sick of being in a cycle of binge-restrict. I now just eat when I'm hungry and have started to lose weight by doing this. It's made a real difference and I know when I eat it's because my body needs it and if I crave something then I have it. I now exercise because it's good for me and not as a means to control my weight. Diets always fail me because it's a long term eating solution and you inevitably have to revert to normal eating again. Eat a healthy diet and enjoy a treat when you feel like it. Exercise for the health benefits. Trust me you'll feel much happier. Life is too short to always be on a diet and you won't be remembered for having a slim figure when you're gone, it'll be for your personality.

yep, I get it, OP. We are all different shapes and sizes, and have different metabolisms, and different things will work differently in different people.

I wish people would see this a bit more like how we understand people having an innate talent for something. So some people just happen to have a lovely singing voice and can sing in tune without thinking about it. We ‘know’ that this isn’t the case for everyone, so don’t shame those who aren’t so naturally blessed.

And with lots of things, we might all be able to learn to get quite good at them, but we aren’t surprised that it’s easier for some people and harder for others.

i am fully convinced that the same is true for body shape and weight.

I'm on meds op, could you maybe get another opinion? As it does contribute to slowed metabolism.

It's definitely got things moving. Like wheat for you.

I have never been on a diet and never tried to lose weight so forgive me if I am way off here, but when people want to lose weight- is that literally what they want? To be lighter? To weigh less? Or is it more about having less body fat/looking a bit smaller?

Because if it’s actually the latter, I heartily recommend lifting heavy weights. Most women who regularly lift heavy weights find that their muscle mass increases. Muscle needs a lot of calories so metabolism is increased for 12-48 hours after a weights session. Weight training burns body fat. And because muscle is dense, it takes up less space than fat. So a woman who is 10 stone with 30% fat will look very different to a woman of the same height and weight but who has 18% fat.

All the women I know who have taken up weight training have not only lost fat, they have also become much less interested in what they weigh. (Plus it’s great for bone density, mental health and self-esteem).

Has your weight been up and down in the past OP? The reason I ask is that every time you loose weight around 30% to 50% of the weight loss is muscle and when you regain weight a higher % of the gain is fat. As muscle burns more calories this cycle of muscle loss will reduce your TDEE over time leaving you stuck on lower calories in order not to gain weight.

I would suggest introducing strength training in order to increase your muscle and then you will find you can eat more.

I agree with this, I enjoyed lifting heavy weights

My bmi is 19 and I love food. The key is strenght training to increase muscle and eating a whole food diet high in fibre to increase satiety and improve your microbiome. Other than highly refined carbs (white flour, sugar) no whole foods are off limits and I eat around 2000 calories a day.

Surely most of that weight gain is temporary, just water? If you have processed food or takeaway it's really salty so makes you retain water. But I know what you mean.

I can easily put on a kilo or two if I eat three solid meals and snacks for two days! I actually do need to try and gain as I have ED, but the rapidness of the weight gain is pretty scary and feels almost uncontrollable.

1200 seems very low. I'm not surprised you're feeling frustrated. I guess upping the exercise? Swimming, running, outdoor gym? Then you can eat more? I hope you don't deprive yourself fully of nice things as that's no way to live. But it's really great you've already managed to lose so much.

Sister, I have been losing weight and here is how I do it....
I roast some bolar blade beef with lid or foil on so that it stay moist and does not dirty my oven. I remove most of the fat. I put in in a linch box in fridge. Protein is slimming but carbs like cake bread and pizza make you as fat as a PIG.
If you are not jogging, doing weights don't eat carbs. Full stop!
It may take about two weeks to get used to it, but once you're used to it, it's okay.
Then you decide to eat basically same thing each day right. Stuff you like from lean protein and light salad veg. Carbs are cheap and that's why poor people get FAT!!! And later in life get really sick too. Leaving on, mostly carbs, is a poor persons diet and leads to serious disease.

Lunch: cut 3 thick big slices of beef. Then get plenty of lettuce leaves. Wash. Put on a plate. Make milk cocoa with two brown sugars. Put one and ahalf teaspoons of pure cocoa powder in the bottom of your big mug and I mean a big mug because you want to fill yourself up. Then pour boiling water over that just a bit and mix it up about 1/6 of the cup and mix it up well so there is no dry cocoa and the sugar is melted, then cover that mixture up to the top of the mug with low-fat milk and I mean low-fat. Then put it in the microwave and make it teal hot.

I have as many of these as I want every day, so I am going through the milk and I am going through the meat, but both of them are protein. It is winter, and this seems to make me feel really warm.

So my meal is either standing around eating beef wrapped in lots of lettuce leaves with a bit of salt on the beef or sitting down with a hot water bottle and a rug, eating it watching TV and having my cocoa, I am really full and very satisfied after it, because protein makes you satisfied for longer!!!!! I don't get hungry until the next meal time. 2 hours. When I'm hungry, I have something to eat because the food I'm eating is not fattening. I listen very carefully to how hungry I am. I listen to my body more each day I'm on it. If I get bored with that, I change to a different protein, such as salmon, wrapped in lettuce or salmon with salad, such as a bit of tomato in a bit of lettuce and cucumber. I do not eat rice or potato or biscuits or pasta. Pizza is a definite, no no, and so is cake. NO!!!

I've lost quite a bit of weight.
Here is a tip that you probably don't know anything about, and you were never taught by your parents –carbohydrates are for sports people. If you are not doing very strenuous sport, you don't need hardly any.
Some vegetables have a lot of carbohydrate, too, so avoid them like spuds.
Make things that you really like from the healthy foods. For example, low-fat milk with blueberries to make a smoothie put in a bit of honey.
I couldn't believe that you don't know You can't eat cake and pizza and keep weight off it's not going to happen. I wish you all the best.

Start weight training it's been so good for me. I haven't weighed myself for 2 years and it's great! I have been concentrating on getting stronger instead, I love seeing how much I can lift go up. I've toned up loads and because I'm not focusing on the scales for the first time in my life my eating habits have improved significantly. I enjoy my food and eat so much better without constantly thinking about it.

I hear you op.

It's not about exercise. It's about food intake.

Of course its about exercise- you can sit on your arse all day and eat 800 calories and hate yourself and lose weight, or you can do plenty of exercise and eat 1400 caloroes a day and lose weight and feel happy. Up to you.

I have a question for the people extolling weight training - how do you do it? 😂 I know it's a stupid question, but do you go in the weights section in the gym? Ours is full of steroidy looking men, I don't see any women in there. Or do you use the machines in the main gym? And how do you know what weights to lift, and how?

No use suggesting I do it at home, I need to leave the house to exercise or it won't happen.

You sound so like my friend.

She only has to look at food to gain weight. She spent her 20s, 30s & 40s eating next to nothing and being fat and miserable. Her GP was always completely dismissive and ignorant regarding her thyroid levels. It has only been after seeing a private and recommended endocrinologist that she’s been taken seriously and is now on levothyroxine. She’s also cut certain things from her diet and has finally started to lose weight.

My local gym does a women only weights class

Unfortunately it's not about exercise. The exercise us normal bods do only burns a tiny amount of calories. It's only super elite athletes that manage to really lose weight through exercise. Do a quick Google search and you'll see, e.g.

time.com/6138809/should-you-exercise-to-lose-weight/

www.theguardian.com/society/2015/apr/22/obesity-owes-more-to-bad-diet-than-lack-of-exercise-say

www.vox.com/2018/1/3/16845438/exercise-weight-loss-myth

Etc