Its my birthday and I'm so lonely

[UnhappyBirthday37]

Name changed.

Today is my birthday. I am 37. I have no friends, no partner, no kids, no money. I live in a tiny one bed housing association flat with awful neighbours.
My only family consist of my mum who is very unwell and my brother who only rings me when he wants something (usually money).
I won't have any birthday cards this year. My mum is unable to get me one due to being ill and my brother won't even remember it's my birthday. I certainly won't be getting any presents.
I have to work today. In a minimum wage job, caring for other peoples mums and dads. My colleagues won't care that it's my birthday. I'll be lucky if I even get a "happy birthday".
I am so so lonely. I never imagined I'd be so alone at the age of 37.
I have adhd and autism which make it difficult for me to make, and keep, friends. I'm asexual hence no partner. I tried to have kids via donor but miscarried twice.

Happy birthday 🥳

I would celebrate it by doing something that makes you happy. Go out for something nice to eat, buy a cake if you want one. Do something for you.

Happy Birthday, I’m sorry to hear you are so lonely. Could you do something nice for yourself after work? Get some food you enjoy and watch a movie you like, or get yourself a new book? Spoil yourself a little bit for your birthday?

Happy Birthday!

Can you treat yourself in some way?

This too shall pass and one day, maybe soon, things will seem much better.

Happy birthday

Happy birthday to you!

Echo what the others have suggested - a book, a new nail polish, an extra large bar of chocolate - whatever works for you.

Know that there are happy birthday wishes coming your way across the internet

Sending you birthday wishes - happy birthday:)

Awww that sucks. I had my birthday 2 weeks ago and was very underwhelmed by it. Few people bothered to wish me a happy birthday. Just remember how important your role is in caring for others. Lots of people work on their birthday. Treat yourself after work doing whatever makes you happy

Happy birthday 🎂

Sorry you are feeling lonely. Strangely it’s not unusual to feel a bit low on ‘special days’ like birthdays, sort of brings emotions to the surface I think. Thank you for caring for others, such a shame that an important job is not better rewarded. Can you maybe buy some inexpensive treats such as sweets or biscuits and share with each person you care for today? Sharing small gifts with others can also bring joy. Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday! 🎈
Maybe get your favourite takeaway and watch your favourite movie tonight? Take a nice bath with expensive bubble bath and treat yourself a bit?
maybe it’s time to start looking for new jobs with better colleagues or start a new hobby to meet people?

Happy birthday 🎂

It’s Saturday, so why not treat yourself to a takeaway and a film night? Order your favourites (make sure you have enough for leftovers).

Pop out for some fresh air and then get yourself a birthday cake, or a stack of doughnuts (whatever you like).

Make it a day of pleasing yourself!

Thank you. I just needed to get it off my chest how I'm feeling. I won't have time to do anything for myself. I am about to head to my mums to care for her before I go to work until 10pm.

Happy Birthday op. I doubt this will help but as an adult with all of those things you listed, birthdays can still feel quite underwhelming. Can you take some cakes to work to share? Plan something nice for your tea and watch a film or some other treat.

Happy Birthday.

I am sorry you are having such a tough time. Horrible as it is, I think this sort of low point can be the catalyst for change.

You would like and deserve to have friends. You could sign up for social media friendship groups, list your interests and say you are looking to meet other neurodiverse people, or people who are very comfortable around neurodiversity, for friendship and socialising. That way you are bypassing the barrier of encountering a lot of NT people who just don't get you. You could do the same with asexual/aromantic sites if you'd like a significant other in your life without having to navigate the problem of different levels of desire. One good thing about social media is how it allows us to meet like-minded people.

When I've hit absolute lows at a turn of year (NYE or birthday) I use it to reset my life and decide I won't be in this position this time next year. Would it feel right to buy yourself a few small presents, so that you at least, are celebrating yourself, and start a plan to develop your life in a way that would make you happier, and bring you friends?

I really sympathise. I confessed, embarrassed, to a friend in America about ten days ago how lonely I am, ruminating too. She told me to go for a run. I have gone for a run 8 out of the last 10 days and while it has not solved all my problems, I'm ruminating on them less today, all I have planned is one DIY trip but after a run it seems less lonely. People say reframe the situation, and I always try to dialogue with myself, cheer myself up, be kind to myself, but it's all too many thoughts.

I was teetering on the brink of being a bit depressed 2 weeks ago and the running has definitely put some endorphins into my system which have lessened my ruminations. I know it sounds such a cliche. I'm single and in my 50s BTW, so I understand. You can get many many suggestions on how to change things, but changing how heavily the thoughts weigh on you helps massively too.
I'm being tested for adhd in October btw. So I've often felt like the last to be included, perceived to be "not like us" and all of that has played into my abandonment wounds.

There are advocacy groups for almost everything but not for single women. We dont turn into incels but we're going through life trying not to let the weight of the loneliness we can feel show
Xx 🍷🍀

Bless you OP & Happy Birthday 🎂🎈🎉🎇🎆💐🍾🥂🎁 I wasn’t much younger than you when I met DH & I have to admit, I was beginning to think I’d be left on the shelf. But life has a funny way of changing for the better, sometimes when you feel you’re at your lowest point. Perhaps your birthday is a crossroads & hopefully you will find a new route to travel.

Happy Birthday from Australia. Would suggest buying yourself some flowers (even if just the cheap ones from the supermarket) and put on your dining table where you can see them frequently in honour of your birthday.

I don't like birthdays and honestly wouldn't care if mine wasn't marked, but please tell your colleagues it's your birthday and take a cake (s) in for everyone. Sometimes making other people feel good makes you feel good too. Happy birthday and treat yourself.

I have no suggestions but I want to wish you a happy birthday

Happy birthday

Even if it's one small thing today or tomorrow so something for you. As others have said, a bath a film, a takeout, a bar of chocolate, or a cream cake
Sit and enjoy it and savour that moment.
I am sure your mam would be thinking of your birthday even though she is unwell.
You get to see her and help her today, and that is a gift too even though it's hard being a carer.

I hope you find joy in your day today

Hopefully you’ll enjoy seeing your mum. Is she well enough to have some cake with you, or to mark the day in some way? Loneliness is very hard.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to you, op.

It does sound like a depressing day, but lots of people have to just carry on as normal on their birthdays. And as pp said, special events can make things feel worse.
You are going through a hard time at the moment, especially with your mum being ill.
Caring is a very important job and I have a lot of respect for the lovely people who can do this.
I'm sorry you don't have friends, but maybe your birthday can be the day you decide to change this?

It won't happen immediately, but you could research local or online meet ups .

There's usually things going on via the library, or a local parkrun (that you can walk round, or volunteer at), that are very welcoming.
Maybe join a group or if there isn't anything suitable, start one yourself to suit your needs and interests and meet new friends that way.

Good luck x

Happy birthday! 🎂

Definitely get yourself a little treat to mark the day x

Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🎂🍾🍰🛀🎈🎉
xxx