Its my birthday and I'm so lonely

[UnhappyBirthday37]

Name changed.

Today is my birthday. I am 37. I have no friends, no partner, no kids, no money. I live in a tiny one bed housing association flat with awful neighbours.
My only family consist of my mum who is very unwell and my brother who only rings me when he wants something (usually money).
I won't have any birthday cards this year. My mum is unable to get me one due to being ill and my brother won't even remember it's my birthday. I certainly won't be getting any presents.
I have to work today. In a minimum wage job, caring for other peoples mums and dads. My colleagues won't care that it's my birthday. I'll be lucky if I even get a "happy birthday".
I am so so lonely. I never imagined I'd be so alone at the age of 37.
I have adhd and autism which make it difficult for me to make, and keep, friends. I'm asexual hence no partner. I tried to have kids via donor but miscarried twice.

Happy birthday!!

Buy yourself an 'It's my birthday' badge before work and wear it all day. You'll be surprised at how many well wishes you'll receive which will lift your spirits.

After work, pop to M&S for some nice bits and maybe have a picnic in a park with a trashy magazine and then go to the cinema. Celebrate being 37!

I hope you manage to enjoy your day 🥳

🍰 🎈 HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP 🎈 🍰
The suggestion of taking a cake into work sounds like an excellent idea.
Birthdays do tend to become rather dull the older we are. Hope you get through the day ok 🫂💐🌹

Sending Happy Birthday wishes on your special day 💐🎂 The work you do is so valuable and should be recognised as such and be better paid. Hope you are able to find some joy in your day. 🍹

Happy Birthday OP!! I echo others, do something that you'll enjoy 😀🎂🍫🍾☕💐

Happy Birthday OP. I don't know you, but today I'll be thinking of you. Thank you for being a Home Carer. You make a massive difference every day.

Happy Birthday! Can I suggest you give yourself the birthday 'present' of deciding to join one group for a year?

A choir, a book-reading club, a sports club, a knitting group - whatever you think you would enjoy doing. Don't do it with the idea that you will make friends - just go to learn/enjoy the activity.... it might help.

Best wishes to you OP x <unmumsnetty hug>

Happy Birthday, OP!! A previous poster is right about taking time for yourself. Why not use this as your turning point - do one thing every day that brings you joy. And write them down and put them in a jar so next year you have a pot full of happy thoughts to look back on.

I sometimes sit on my doorstep in the sun and drink a cup of coffee and shut the door on the rest of the house. I can watch the bees buzzing and the leaves on the trees swaying. I do Park Yoga and our instructor tells us to “be there in the moment.” I thought it was nonsense at first, but I was surprised at how uplifted I felt just listening to the sounds around me. Really properly listening took me away from my own thoughts.

And eat ALL the cake today. X

🎂🎈

Sending you birthday wishes! Take a cake in to work so you are marking the fact it is your birthday.

Maybe start tomorrow as day 1 of a new year. I know it's easier said than done but could you join a group or a hobby near you? I would recommend the Women's Institute for friendship. It's not just for older women and I have found both my groups to be so friendly and welcoming.

Whatever you decide, you are a good person doing a good job caring for people. You deserve happiness and I hope it finds you soon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! If you are working and cannot celebrate today then when you do have some time off at least then do something special in honour of your birthday! It does not have to be big but as other's have suggested stuff like a little picnic or watching a movie or just going somewhere you like for a while. I have learnt to take charge of special occasions, as like you, I do not always have someone, and it makes me feel so much better.
You have been given some good ideas, too, about getting to know more people which will help.
OP you do an amazing job which helps so many other people, remember how much value you bring to others and always value yourself. Good luck and I hope that you do have some kindness today and things work out better. Thinking of you.

You are doing so much. You are helping so many people. You are making a difference. I hope you feel valued.

Happy birthday!! You are a valued member of your family and community even if your brother and mum can't demonstrate it in the most conventional ways due to their own issues. Do something lovely for yourself even if it's just getting out in the sunshine and maybe exploring somewhere new. The work you do is vital. Why not look to join some low pressure social groups you can drop in and out of like book groups or walking clubs to build a bit of a network even if it's a loose one at first?

Hope you come back for some messages op.

Happy Birthday to you happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear youooo, happy birthday to you 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁.
Be kind to yourself today xx

Happy birthday op.
Your amazing and the work you do is so valuable to so many.

Happy birthday OP! I'll be thinking of you today and hoping you manage to find some joy in your day xx

Happy birthday lovely lady xx 😘

Happy birthday to yoooooou!! 🎉🎂🥳🎁🎈

Thank you ladies xxx

I'm late to the (virtual) party, but hope you've had a nice day.
☺️

I hope that maybe your acknowledgment of this not being where you want to be might help you in a change of direction?

Small steps, manageable goals.

It's shit feeling like you do. I wish you all the best in finding a catalyst that might dig you out of this hole!

Many Happy Returns!

If you have time tomorrow, buy some bubble bath and some nice flowers for yourself.

Make something nice to eat as well.

I hope that things start to feel brighter soon.

Happy birthday and an unmumsnetty hug 💐

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎂💐🎁🎈

I've been in a similar position, but I have to say your colleagues sound rubbish. In my last full time job people used to make a bit of a fuss over birthdays.

I make my birthday special, I don't need anyone else to do it for me. Do something special for yourself, something to make you happy.

Happy birthday 🥳 🎂
It was my birthday this week too, though I'm a lot older than you. I've been in charge of making sure my birthday is a happy occasion for many, many years. None of the people in my life are able to or don't think it matters, so I just took charge as I was fed up of miserable birthdays.
I plan stuff for the day itself and sometimes the days either side. Often they will be things I will do alone, as I value time alone and without the caring responsibility that normally fills my hours.
This year was more social as I've made a couple of friends, so it did include a meal out with them.
My birthday list this year included a visit to my parents, a day out shopping and a cuppa with a friend, dinner out at a nice restaurant (early bird menu, very good value!), a day out to the beach, a long lie in, a good book and plenty of uninterrupted reading time.
I also make it a rule not to work on my birthday if I can get the time off work.

Take charge, start planning for your own happiness. It feels so much better, I promise.
Take care.

Belated Happy Birthday to you! 🎂🎈💐

I started taking the day off work for my 21st birthday, and did so every year after that, apart from a few where I couldn't as it was our busy time, but I took a day off later instead. It does make the day more special.

I have no partner, no children, no parents, no siblings, so my birthdays are now solely up to me to make special. I'm not expecting to see anyone on my next birthday in a couple of weeks, but I will make sure it's not miserable.