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"I'm bored" - 7 YO driving me mad

76 replies

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 14:13

My 8YO DS complains he is bored from morning till night - CONSTANTLY asking me "what can I do next?". It's driving me round the twist. We have a big garden with slide, swing, sandpit, treehouse and a house chock full of toys, books and art materials. I'm sure when I was a kid my mum just expected me to get on with it in the holidays and didn't spend all her time scheduling in activities for me to do. Whatever I suggest he doesn't want to do it anyway.

I'm heavily pregnant right now and very unwell with it so the amount of stuff I can do with him is limited because I really can't manage to get out much and my energy levels are on the floor. And he doesn't have many friends to play with because he is ND and struggles socially - those he does have are away. I've booked him into a few holiday clubs but they don't start til August.

I've tried giving him chores today whenever he moans he is bored and he just follows me around complaining - I am so close to totally losing my rag with him. Any tips?

OP posts:
Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:00

OMGsamesame · 25/07/2024 15:53

Is he at all competitive? Eg would he race you to see who can hang out their laundry pile quickest?

What was the objection to the timetable idea or the lolly stick idea?

No he can't cope with competition at all, he finds it overwhelming and upsetting.

I will try both of the other ideas!

OP posts:
Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:02

Oldfatandfrumpy · 25/07/2024 15:56

I wouldn't have dared said to my mum that I was bored, otherwise I'd get given a list of chores to do 🤣

Right! Either my DS has more willpower than I do or I didn't push it with my own mother because I'd have got a clip round the ear 😅

OP posts:
GoFigure235 · 25/07/2024 16:05

How are you planning to manage to home educate him with a newborn baby at this rate? I want to be constructive OP, but I can't help feeling that this is going to implode somewhere.

I also have a fairly large age gap between my 2 and quite honestly I was very short and lacking in patience with my older one when the baby came but was saved by him being at school for 6-7 hours a day.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

GoFigure235 · 25/07/2024 16:06

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:02

Right! Either my DS has more willpower than I do or I didn't push it with my own mother because I'd have got a clip round the ear 😅

Obviously not a "clip round the ear" but you do need some sort of sanction that he would try to avoid.

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:07

GoFigure235 · 25/07/2024 16:05

How are you planning to manage to home educate him with a newborn baby at this rate? I want to be constructive OP, but I can't help feeling that this is going to implode somewhere.

I also have a fairly large age gap between my 2 and quite honestly I was very short and lacking in patience with my older one when the baby came but was saved by him being at school for 6-7 hours a day.

It's uniquely bad at the moment because a) it's the holisays and b) I'm really physically unable at the moment due to a very, very difficult pregnancy. Once I have the baby (soon!), DH has 8 weeks' paternity.

During term time there are no issues as he has all sorts of activities going on.

OP posts:
robovacsareepic · 25/07/2024 16:10

Board games? Orchard toys were my friends at this age - allows you to sit down and drink tea while you play.

The can you guess games are good too - my dd could play can you guess which animal for hours.

What are his interests? Get a new magazine subscription?

There are some good kids podcasts out there or audible if he likes listening to books.

The kids Alexa you can 'talk to' and get it to play stuff - my autistic dd loves it! She can talk to that for quite a while...

Kids crosswords are good too - sounds really hard x

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:12

If a school existed which served his needs, he would be there in a flash. But he has a particularly difficult combination of being a good 4/5 years ahead of his peers academically, but simultaneously totally unable to cope with the social aspects of school. Home ed works brilliantly for him as it enables us a) to socialise him in a way he can cope with and b) ensure the learning he does is sufficiently challenging. But it's tricky at the moment due to my shitty pregnancy + summer.

OP posts:
MakingPlans2025 · 25/07/2024 16:16

Where is your partner in all of this. Can he not take some time off work to look after his child while you are so unwell.

HotCrossBunplease · 25/07/2024 16:16

As he’s academically advanced have you tried him with Minecraft or Mario Maker? Those are for building games and universes rather than just tedious noisy driving/running about like Mario Kart.
Or Animal Crossing is quite low key but can have complex puzzles to solve.

I have an only child too, same age, it can be tough having to be playmate as well as parent. Though, is he possibly attention-seeking and feeling insecure because of the imminent arrival of the baby?

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:18

MakingPlans2025 · 25/07/2024 16:16

Where is your partner in all of this. Can he not take some time off work to look after his child while you are so unwell.

He's had loads of time off but he's the sole earner and works for himself so there's a limit to what we can manage financially. He's saved enough to have 8 weeks of paternity.

OP posts:
robovacsareepic · 25/07/2024 16:19

So online learning stuff wouldn't work for him then? There are tonnes of things like bond that are online and you can get a month free etc.

New workbooks?

HotCrossBunplease · 25/07/2024 16:20

Online chess?

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:23

He loves chess but hates playing with me because he beats me so easily 😅. I wonder if he would try online chess, that's a good idea actually.

OP posts:
ilovebagpuss · 25/07/2024 16:24

Does he enjoy water play? I used to stick mine in a bath to make "potions" would fill an hour or so?
With lego I used to say build me a building you can put a toy inside or build me a crazy animal and you get a prize.
Cheap festival tent and get him to set it all up as his nest with toys snack and bedding either to sleep out in or camp in bedroom.
Does he enjoy you reading? If you feel unwell could you manage half an hour reading corner and choose a book together, but make it a daily thing like after lunch reading corner routine.

HotCrossBunplease · 25/07/2024 16:25

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:23

He loves chess but hates playing with me because he beats me so easily 😅. I wonder if he would try online chess, that's a good idea actually.

I thought of it as mine is at chess camp this week. He’s way behind my ability!

HotCrossBunplease · 25/07/2024 16:32

Does he ever get absorbed in books? Maybe you could find a multi-book series that will hook him in? Harry Potter is the obvious one, or How to Train Your Dragon. Or a lot of kids are into age-appropriate Graphic novels, Bunny vs Monkey is huge with my son’s class.

Audio books?

Also, do you have Alexa? It has interactive quizzes and my son just likes to talk to her to find out random facts and play music.

Or if he won’t watch movies, have you tried TV quiz shows? House of Games, the Wheel, Limitless Win are good ones as they free have questions about numbers that kids can have a go at answering.

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:37

He loves to read but he is very specific about when he will read - first thing in the morning and in bed at night. He zooms through books so quickly I'm constantly trying to replace them with new ones. He likes audio books but same deal - won't listen during the day.

Quiz shows a great idea, had never thought of that!

OP posts:
Grealish · 25/07/2024 16:42

Had a similar scenario when I was pregnant with my youngest. Got so sick of hearing “I’m bored” that I sent them off with random questions:
”Do you think we have more windows or more doors in our house/more spoons or forks/more drawers or cupboards”
“How many Lego bricks long do you think your bed is”
“how many steps do you think it is from the front door to your bed/the toilet”

The key was to always make it seem like you were genuinely interested in what the answer was, they were always quick to run off and come back half an hour later to let me know that their bed was this many bricks long and that many bricks high - always seemed delighted that they could answer a question for me.

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:47

Grealish · 25/07/2024 16:42

Had a similar scenario when I was pregnant with my youngest. Got so sick of hearing “I’m bored” that I sent them off with random questions:
”Do you think we have more windows or more doors in our house/more spoons or forks/more drawers or cupboards”
“How many Lego bricks long do you think your bed is”
“how many steps do you think it is from the front door to your bed/the toilet”

The key was to always make it seem like you were genuinely interested in what the answer was, they were always quick to run off and come back half an hour later to let me know that their bed was this many bricks long and that many bricks high - always seemed delighted that they could answer a question for me.

This is genius, going to try this. Sort of thing he loves.

OP posts:
BoobsOnTheMoon · 25/07/2024 16:53

He sounds a lot like my DS (now 14) was at that age!

Quiz shows are a really good shout. DS used to bloody love Countdown 🤣

Does he do Lego? We had success with a 30 day Lego challenge (just print one out off the internet) - DS would listen to audio books whilst lego-ing and it bought me an hour's peace some days.

Minecraft is also great and if you're a home ed family you can probably get a Minecraft education subscription which is fantastic.

Scavenger hunts where he has to find things outside and take photos and bring you a drink etc, with smarties at the end.

Teach him to play solo games like solitaire. DS also loves old fashioned jacks which has the bonus of being great for his hand eye coordination!

A fancy marble maze is highly entertaining, the massive sort with cogs and a battery operated bit that lifts the marbles back up to the top.

If he's academically advanced solo games like Turing Tumble or a laser maze are also worth spending some money on. DS has had both for years and still gets them out when at a loose end.

BoobsOnTheMoon · 25/07/2024 16:54

Agree 100% with the suggestion of a timetable. A visual timetable will probably really help him.

Ineffable23 · 25/07/2024 16:57

I used to borrow 20 books a week from the library at that age. Would that be viable at the weekend - even if you can't go, your partner might be able to take him? The complete Sherlock Holmes kept me busy for quite a long time at that age...

I also used to have packets of quiz questions that were science related, though I can't see an identical one any more.

There are also other things like "sporcle" which is a website with quizzes like "name all the countries of the world" and all the flags etc. We also have a flags of the world board game that you can play on your own.
Online chess might work quite well if you can make sure it's not one where you can communicate with them. Equally computer chess might work.

Pandemic (the board game) is meant to be a collaborative game but you can also play on your own (just give yourself multiple personas and play with each in turn).

cerealfantasist · 25/07/2024 18:44

I don't know what type of home ed you do or how structured a timetable you would usually tend to follow so this may not work, but could you ramp up the "lessons" part of it while your usual groups are off and just tell him this is what HE looks like during the school holidays? If he likes structure would he be amenable to having set "timetabled" hours for e.g. music practice, Duolingo, extra reading or similar?

ForestAtTheSea · 26/07/2024 19:58

Ineffable23 · 25/07/2024 16:57

I used to borrow 20 books a week from the library at that age. Would that be viable at the weekend - even if you can't go, your partner might be able to take him? The complete Sherlock Holmes kept me busy for quite a long time at that age...

I also used to have packets of quiz questions that were science related, though I can't see an identical one any more.

There are also other things like "sporcle" which is a website with quizzes like "name all the countries of the world" and all the flags etc. We also have a flags of the world board game that you can play on your own.
Online chess might work quite well if you can make sure it's not one where you can communicate with them. Equally computer chess might work.

Pandemic (the board game) is meant to be a collaborative game but you can also play on your own (just give yourself multiple personas and play with each in turn).

I like the library idea, too, and for children the library fees often are zero or at least reduced, so that it is an inexpensive task. Some libraries also lend out board games or other games.
I am not sure if it works for your son due to the screen aversion, but many libraries have e-books and magazines on apps like Libby or Borrowbox, which saves you going to the library for now.

The idea of the activity tombola sounds so good, I could use it for my own household chores 😀

I think many ND people struggle with starting tasks, so that the "try this for x minutes" approach can be helpful.

If you think he likes the challenges of interesting questions or being genuinely helpful or physically moving something (like the bricks and finding out about how something measures in Lego bricks), maybe instead of chores the helping could be framed as helping his mother because of the pregancy she needs more help for some weeks, or maybe he would like to help other neighbours with simple things (an errand for someone who is not mobile, or watering the plants for someone).
The difference between simple chores and help is that there is a reason.
Some people do better when they know the reason and are pleased to solve a problem, as some PP hinted at as well.

I do have a warning a about Minecraft, even if it is something creative, like world-building and the likes, because some ND people get addicted to stuff quicker than NT. They can react more strongly to the rewards in games (do not mean things like online chess, which sounds helpful in this case, but mainstream computer games).

Maybe the best is some combination of learning and help, such as a scavenger hunt in the neighbourhood - find 5 different insects / birds /plants and tell me about them / document them, something like that, in line with his academic level, plus doing helpful / useful things that also help you in your situation.

Can he make his own timetable and follow it? Try a task to make his plan for the coming days?

Saracen · 26/07/2024 22:37

Clitheroo · 25/07/2024 16:23

He loves chess but hates playing with me because he beats me so easily 😅. I wonder if he would try online chess, that's a good idea actually.

I'm a chess player and I'd recommend ChessKid.com for this age. Compared with adult platforms, it has several advantages. Its simple cartoony interface is easier to navigate than, say, chess.com (Lichess is better but still a little tricky). He'll find opponents of his own level, and there are some entertaining robot opponents. Finally, it is completely safe because it's impossible for users to exchange any sort of messages.