What is the appeal of a surgeon?

[Plasticfoot]

My friend has a senior admin post in a hospital.

Whenever i need cheerig up, or if she wants to persuade me to do something she'll say, "I'll introduce you to a surgeon".

Now, I'm not sure that I actually know any, but nothing she tells me about them makes them appealing. She gets very frustrated by their rudeness, obstructiveness and general arsiness at work, they all seem to have a god complex, and she's wasted the last 10 years over one who's never going to leave his wife.

I'm sure some of the difficult personality traits are required to be able to do the job, but that doesn't make them good partners.

Obviously I understand about the salary, but why are they seen as such a catch?

I know I've made loads of generalisations and I'm sure there are some who are different, but she's talking about surgeons generally.

What a random thread, maybe ask her what she means?

They've got loads of money and social status.

It's probably just the salary.

Although I used to work with surgeons and they tend to be very smart at spotting people who are attracted to it.

Especially the lower paid workers in the hospital, who would often embarrass themselves by being so obvious.

They tended to date other surgeons or at least those with a similar salary/education.

Money and brains!

Your friend is not too bright.

If you want to go out with a doctor- pick an anaesthetist or paediatrician. Much nicer and more fun.

Paediatrician yes, anaesthetists, never!

She obviously finds surgeons highly attractive because she’s shagging one. As pointed out it’s the salary, the status, the hero image of saving lives. Some women find power or arrogance attractive.

I wouldn’t respect her judgment when she’s screwing another woman’s husband. She’s a fool.

She sounds deluded!
Although I work in an area where the surgeons are generally lovely and the paediatricians generally behave like the spawn of satan.

Yep.

But the god complex is unbearable. The money isn't that exceptional that you can't find similar in other professions. The social status is higher in their own mind (and usually even higher in that of the wife, who is so very smug she's clearly bagged the most eligible man on the planet) than how anyone else sees it.

Luckily they're rarely around, either working or playing golf.

Money, intelligence and social status. I suppose some people feel the advantage is also that they never have to see their arrogant spouse since they will be busy operating, so benefit from the bank account and status with few negatives.

Really it depends whether you want a pleasant and present partner or not.

Some women are attracted to power/status, money and ego. All of which surgeons possess.

They’re rich and clever. Those things are attractive.

Money and brains. I find clever man its very sexy.

I have met a few surgeons (as a potential patient). They can vary hugely, from the after dinner speaker types to the introverted autistic types. They are all super focused on their work, often heavily involved in charities / sports /other means of getting away from it all. And they're loaded. I don't think they sound up your street.

They're human like anyone else. The genuine, kind ones, that would make good partners, already are, and life comes 2nd to the job. The ones who are single tend to be so for a reason, as with any other profession

I know loads of surgeons through work and a few socially. Some are amazingly lovely, some are absolute tit's and most are generally just OK normal people.

Probably the same as most occupations?

there is nothing great about surgeons in general

I know many who are lovely and also many who are utter twats. they don't earn very much compared to other professions unless they do a lot of private practice which most don't. by the time they have paid taxes and fees, not much left.

depending on the surgical specialty they can be ridiculously busy and have no life. especially until they are consultants.

some are very smart, some not so much. some are very very good at what they do but the level of fixation required leave them to be crap at other aspects of life. if you want someone truly smart (if slightly neurotic) bag yourself an anaesthetist/icu doc like me

I would loathe to be with someone working in acute medicine of any sort. its just too much stress.

She seems to think it’s a badge of honour to be screwing a surgeon- so repeatedly jokes to you that she could get you what she has?

Id suggest replying ; Urgh no thanks mate, I’d rather be single

Im with you op- I don’t find the idea of a surgeon particularly attractive.
That said,I did used to date a tree surgeon who was great in bed and looked all tanned muscly and hot in his work gear. That’s more my bag 😂

@Plasticfoot ps affairs like the one your friend is having is sadly commonplace and leads to nowhere. there is a weird obsession some people have with senior docs/surgeons and on the other hand female support staff can be dismissive and rude to female docs. this is sadly quite common.

I have met women who are deeply, sexually, turned on by men whose hands have held a scalpel to cut people open, and others, like me, who get the creeps big time at the very thought.

Working in medicine i seem to have found the woman most attracted to male surgeons (because not all surgeons are male!) are those who want the £££ salary but also aren't too fussed about their husbands being around too much! The same in reverse, many of the male surgeons seem happy to have the trophy wife but appreciate not being bothered about working too much or golfing/skiing etc

There are obviously plenty of exception's, i know love surgeons of both genders who aren't shallow at all as described above, and are just lovely and in love people, but i suspect your friend is of the 1st category?

Money, power, status, intellect, God complex perhaps?

I can’t imagine getting with someone just because of their job.

Your friend is a cautionary example - that guy is never going to leave his wife (and probably kids). Why would he? He probably loves his wife, but loves himself more so thinks he can shag your friend for a bit of fun.

I agree.
Having been an anaesthetist for 30 odd years I've worked with a huge number of surgeons of all grades and more or less every sub specialty in dozens of different hospitals. Yes, some do match up to the stereotypes but most are just regular people. In my experience there's as big a range of personalities as in any other field - they're not clones.

Interestingly, surgeons score highest on psychopathic traits than any other medical profession, and far more likely to display sociopathy than the general population. 😬