What is the appeal of a surgeon?

[Plasticfoot]

My friend has a senior admin post in a hospital.

Whenever i need cheerig up, or if she wants to persuade me to do something she'll say, "I'll introduce you to a surgeon".

Now, I'm not sure that I actually know any, but nothing she tells me about them makes them appealing. She gets very frustrated by their rudeness, obstructiveness and general arsiness at work, they all seem to have a god complex, and she's wasted the last 10 years over one who's never going to leave his wife.

I'm sure some of the difficult personality traits are required to be able to do the job, but that doesn't make them good partners.

Obviously I understand about the salary, but why are they seen as such a catch?

I know I've made loads of generalisations and I'm sure there are some who are different, but she's talking about surgeons generally.

I heard they are more likely to be sociopaths so that's a bit off-putting imo.

What a silly thread with so many sexiest cliches. My daughter is a surgeon …

Surgeons aren’t particularly high earners! Date somebody in tech, finance, commercial law or natural resources if you want to date for cash.
Anybody dating a surgeon for cash seems to have a very low level of ambition on the gold digger front IMO (said as an nhs worker).
You say your friend is senior admin so I would guess at about band 6 or 7? She needs to get a grip.

its so great to see surgery changing and so any women.
I am a GP and preferentially refer to female surgeons… it is well proven that they have less complications and their patients do better 😉

Your friend has been reading too many Chalet School books. All the naice gels in that end up marrying surgeons or are desperate to do so.

They probably earn at least 100k, some might earn double that. How can you say that’s not a high salary? Yes there are higher earners in tech and finance, but only in London. In most parts of the country a surgeon is a super high earner… and it’s possible to date a surgeon in Leeds for example whereas you’d be unable to date a financier because they don’t live there.

Exactly! It’s just like any other profession - good and bad eggs in everything

I'm the wife of a surgeon, what nasty ignorant views you have. The reality of surgeon wives are quite different to this make believe tripe, most of us don't need to 'bag' anyone.

How odd. Have you pointed these things out to her? I think it would be a public service in case she rather cluelessly hasn’t realised despite her own travails. I thought most people knew that they’re generally bloody awful as romantic partners.

There are some stupid clichés on this thread. My cousin married a surgeon and my other cousin is a surgeon and they are all lovely.

That said, yes I imagine some women are attracted by salary and status and it sounds like op's friend is one of them.

Unless they are consultants they will not have loads of money. 🙄 Even then it will depend on how much private work they do.
To become a doctor (any doctor) a person must be intelligent. Intelligence is attractive. @Plasticfoot your que
answered.

I knew too many Irish medical students back in the early 90s, and they were an odd lot, which isn’t all that surprising when your first experience of a naked woman is a cadaver. I could never see the appeal of doctors.

Studies have shown that they score higher than average for psychopathic traits. So choose wisely I guess.

I’m not surprised there might be a link between surgeons and psychopathic traits. I doubt most people would have the calm detachment and fearless self-confidence in one’s abilities that would enable them to carry out that work and to live with the consequences of the procedures which didn’t go well.

And when you say do better you also mean less likely to die!

I know a female surgeon and she's the rudest snob that I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. She cheated and left her husband for another surgeon. Yes people do it all the time but, as she was always hard work to speak to due to the amount of times she would offend during a conversation, her actions just added to the image that she had of herself of being better than everyone else.

I also wouldn't fancy a male surgeon as I find them a little creepy! The idea of the God complex would unnerve me a little. In saying that though, I knew a male nurse that was similar. He gave me the heebies.

The reduced stress response, lack of reaction to exposed innards and the strong desire to play god apparently help 😄

Mirabai …yrs it does.
it’s also been shown that women do better with a woman doctor… whatever their specialty.
Us female medics rock! 😉

How rich?

@BananaLamah 100k is a high salary of course, but it isn't the kind of range that is limited to London. Lots of the senior staff (not medical) where I work are on that kind of level, and we're out in the sticks.

I'm not sure I'd want to go out with anyone who knew better than I did what I looked like inside.

They get paid well but not astronomically (source : daughter of two and sibling of one - surrounded by lots of them) - they’re also generally pretty disciplined and good at exams but don’t all have sparkling brilliance - plenty of hardworking bores!

I guess it’s a thing though. Like some airline staff and pilots, or some women and policemen / firemen.

you’re always going to get dicks, in any industry, who screw around with junior staff + cheat on their spouses without any intention of leaving them.

just tell your buddy that the surgeon idea doesn’t appeal any more than anyone else.

Well brains, status and money, surely it's not a mystery 🙄

One of our neighbours is a pediatric ENT consultant. He was very surprised to find out what DH, with no degree but 35 years experience in oil, was earning.

One of our friends is a surgeon and is lovely. He's very stable and calm which I think are good qualities, but I'm sure they're not all like that. His wife, also our friend, has said that women can be quite forward with him and try to flirt with him even when she's there. He has none of it though, they've been together for 20 years and both very loyal to each other. He's definitely not rude or obstructive, none of us would be friends with him if he was.

I think it's also the status and prestige, and obviously brains. It's much sexier then working in tech or snooze ... finance!