No sex drive after baby

[Sweeetcorn]

Youngest DD is 6mo now. Haven’t had sex with DH since before she was born - near the end I’m too heavy and uncomfortable and after the birth really wasn’t ready. I had a c section

I’ve been EBF too so I just haven’t had any energy left after running around after our eldest, breast feeding and just general life!

I feel drained and just no in the mood ever

we have struggled a bit with 2nd baby we’ve grew apart but our eldest is 2y 5m so still young so it’s been tough on us but I’ve heard it is on any relationship with young kids

youngest won’t settle with ANYONE else either :( gets very upset if I’m not there so I haven’t been able to leave her with anyone

is this normal??? It’s not my DH, I just have 0 desire to have sex or do anything sexual!!!! At all

So bit of a mix of responses some say normal some say not normal need to work on it asap lol

It’s been over a year, so you’re in a sexless marriage, whether or not that’s considered normal.

The longer you wait, the greater the chance of an affair.

Yeah it currently is and it isn’t our norm tbh! I don’t want to not ever have sex it’s just hard to throw myself back into things

I am taking the advice to trying to make myself feel nice. I’m so focused on being tired I’m frumpy and I could do with a few beauty appts

Honestly why does everyone say he will have an affair. He also has a 6 month old at home and is coming home from work exhausted then focusing on family. His libido is probably an all time low too. It's one thing to want to reconnect with his partner once in while it's another thing to break his marriage vows. Men are not programmed to cheat when they don't have sex on tap, that's a decision some men make and something a decent man would not do.

Give it a little more time while BF OP but do talk to him about it. He needs to know that this is not a permanent change. You may need to just go along with it a few times before it becomes a regular thing again and that's ok too.

His libido is probably an all time low too

The OP mentioned that he's been asking for it, but she keeps refusing. While this doesn't necessarily mean an affair will happen, it's unfair when one partner desires intimacy and the other doesn't. At that point, the marriage may no longer be compatible, and a reasonable person would consider separation or divorce.

I think @Sweeetcorn needs to be aware that her sex drive might return in the next 6 months to a year, but by then it could be her husband who's lost interest. I've seen previous posts where someone mentioned it had been 6 years with no change in their partner's sex drive. No one is going to keep asking for that long.

You may need to just go along with it a few times before it becomes a regular thing again

But then the OP would be having sex when she doesn't actually want to. I wouldn’t want to be intimate with my partner if they were just going along with it out of obligation. That would feel really off-putting.