Sent a really funny text to a real twat of a man

[GrumpinessPersonified13]

We've been casually hooking up for almost a year now. I'd decided to stop messaging because it was completely messing with my head: I'd be really stressed when he didn't reply, it started off with us messaging the same amount but drifted more and more towards me always sending the first message in an exchange. He was always happy to meet up... But he never instigated it. That kind of thing. There was always a streak of unkindness in him and a few red flags; he seemed to have quite a misogynist world view in general although I never felt unsafe around him or anything like that. I made allowances as I find him really attractive and there aren't many men at all who I fancy enough to kiss, let alone sleep with. And I have been single for YEARS so it was really nice to have someone who I actually liked in that way. After months of no communication (wherein my mental health definitely improved) I was out with my friend and we thought it would be a good idea to message him. We had a bit of flirtatious back and forth and he said something to which I replied with something I thought was hilarious. I was honestly so proud of my text, it was so funny (in my opinion!). Anyway he hasn't replied and now my text is just sat there, with 2 blue ticks, and he's clearly got no intention of replying! I am so annoyed and I don't know why??? I just feel like I have wasted so much energy on this guy and he didn't even laugh-react at my joke. I don't know why it is bothering me so much? We never did have the same sense of humour anyway. Help me see sense, please?

Get a grip. Far too much detail on all the backstory and you don’t want to share what you said but expect people to be angry at him on your behalf when we don’t know what you messaged? What age are you!?

Block him and move on.

Being in contact with him before messed with your head and now you're in contact again surprise, surprise it's messing with your head again.

You were wise to get rid of him before, you can do it again.

Thanks @iseegulls. You're 100% right of course. My mental health really did dip whenever we were more in contact; cutting him off made it improve. I've not seen him in about 5 months although at the time I didn't realise the last time would be The Last Time Ever. I'm just so annoyed with myself for writing something so funny (in my opinion) and wasting it on him!

@Thunderpants88 I'm not expecting anyone to be angry with him 🤣 I just wanted to have a little vent about how I wrote something funny and it was wasted. Just wish I could find someone with my sense of humour, who I also fancied!

You have called him a twat in the title to your thread so this answers your own question. But I want to hear the funny text!

We need to know what you said, I doubt he is going to read it.

What was the funny comment?

Maybe he hasn't understood it, or taken it the wrong way?

Without telling us the joke there's not much we can say.

Although it does sound like you are better off without him and you know it

I think I do know it really that I am much better off without him, @newleafontheplantjohn. I am just annoyed that I wasted my funny text on him and also sad, because I hate how his behaviour affects me so strongly.

With reference to the actual joke itself, I can't really say as it's outing (I know that is the cliché here on MN but it really would be!). But basically he used a phrase and then I used it but in a sext way a couple of times. It was all just silly word-play but I was quite proud of myself 🤷🏼‍♀️

Can't you post it and then get MN to delete it? I am dying to be the judge 🤣

What you find hilarious might be something others find deeply unfunny, offensive or childish. None of us knows whether that could be the case. But frankly he doesn’t sound at all ice and the two of you don’t sound compatible.

Are you so rarely funny as to be this hung up on "wasting" a joke?

I'm sad for you, not because he didn't appreciate your humour, but because you need a man to validate your worth. And you know he treats you like shit but keep going back for more, and then have to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet to tell you this.

Shake this off, find yourself and vow to be enough, just as you are.

You need to find someone else, he's clearly not Interested, is he even single ? ,

Maybe he thought you were mocking him. He doesn't sound like any great loss though.

It's really odd that you're ok with his misogyny but not ok with him not reacting to your joke.

@GrumpinessPersonified13 stop carrying on about 'wasting a text' they're not in short supply!!

'Funny' is subjective

You know he's a twat, & your MH is better when you're not in contact with him, so just delete his contact details from your phone, so you can't be tempted to text him when you've been drinking & move on, plenty more FB in the sea, you'll find someone you're attracted to.

Some men don't laugh at women's jokes. They don't expect women to be witty. They are unnerved by funny women. Humour displays a self-confidence and irreverence and independent outlook on the world that doesn't fit with their little-woman-here-on-the-planet-to-service-me niche they prefer to squeeze women into. He may be one of those sadsacks.

Why mess with your own head? He's not doing it - you are. Flirting with a misogynistic man who makes you unhappy and leaves you feeling insecure. Stop it! You are entirely responsible for which man you choose to let into your life, so examine your own actions. Don't waste headspace on him.

Perhaps he’s not smart enough to write a better retort! Let your funny text be the last he hears from you. Good way to leave it.

If you share the joke here and people laugh react then it wasn’t wasted.
This man doesn’t seem like a loss - time to move on.

So you had flirty texts back and forth then you 'hit' him with a witty sexty joke.

That will have boosted his ego no end so now he's sat thinking he's got you on the backburner for a shag whenever he snaps his fingers. Him ignoring it is just mind games.

He probably did think it was witty but isn't going to give you all the power by responding. He's probably showing it to his mates and saying he's still got you in reserve when he's horny.

So yes, cringe away. Feel pissed off and hurt/upset. Learn from this that its never a good idea to text your ex.

It's also just proved to you that you can't 'just be friends' with him.

Blimey. He’s not responded quickly enough to a text and you’re all stressed about it and people on here are encouraging you to dump him, block him, never speak again!

Sorry OP, I know your position all too well and it suck’s. You kind of need to be a bit hard on yourself to be kind to yourself. The dude has probably got a gf and has been using you, simply because he can. He wasn’t bothered when you stopped messaging him because you were disposable to him and you still are. He didn’t react to your joke because he couldn’t be bothered, he almost definitely has at least one other new hook up to focus on.
You have to tell yourself until you believe it that you’re actually worth more than being someone’s less than second priority. Block him immediately. Delete his entire message thread. Laugh at your own jokes, it probably was funny. Minimise head space for this loser. He really, genuinely is not worth a single other feeling from you.

If he's a misogynist then he won't like you being funny or witty.

Not sure about the not replying but to be honest he just doesn't sound interested in you, he can probably also smell the desperation.

It sucks when we like someone who doesn't like us back but I would move on, people can be interested enough for fun but he obviously just wanted it to be a casual thing. Never know he might just have another woman and not want to get involved again