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Original poster

Sent a really funny text to a real twat of a man

40 replies

GrumpinessPersonified13 · 23/07/2024 00:43

We've been casually hooking up for almost a year now. I'd decided to stop messaging because it was completely messing with my head: I'd be really stressed when he didn't reply, it started off with us messaging the same amount but drifted more and more towards me always sending the first message in an exchange. He was always happy to meet up... But he never instigated it. That kind of thing. There was always a streak of unkindness in him and a few red flags; he seemed to have quite a misogynist world view in general although I never felt unsafe around him or anything like that. I made allowances as I find him really attractive and there aren't many men at all who I fancy enough to kiss, let alone sleep with. And I have been single for YEARS so it was really nice to have someone who I actually liked in that way. After months of no communication (wherein my mental health definitely improved) I was out with my friend and we thought it would be a good idea to message him. We had a bit of flirtatious back and forth and he said something to which I replied with something I thought was hilarious. I was honestly so proud of my text, it was so funny (in my opinion!). Anyway he hasn't replied and now my text is just sat there, with 2 blue ticks, and he's clearly got no intention of replying! I am so annoyed and I don't know why??? I just feel like I have wasted so much energy on this guy and he didn't even laugh-react at my joke. I don't know why it is bothering me so much? We never did have the same sense of humour anyway. Help me see sense, please?

OP posts:
johnson39 · 23/07/2024 07:54

Thoughtful2355 · 23/07/2024 07:49

Not sure about the not replying but to be honest he just doesn't sound interested in you, he can probably also smell the desperation.

It sucks when we like someone who doesn't like us back but I would move on, people can be interested enough for fun but he obviously just wanted it to be a casual thing. Never know he might just have another woman and not want to get involved again

I think this is probably right... and he's probably not single anymore... but keeps you there as a just incase ...

HowIrresponsible · 23/07/2024 07:58

GrumpinessPersonified13 · 23/07/2024 00:55

@Thunderpants88 I'm not expecting anyone to be angry with him 🤣 I just wanted to have a little vent about how I wrote something funny and it was wasted. Just wish I could find someone with my sense of humour, who I also fancied!

You didn't write him a novel the length of war and peace - you told him a joke he didn't find funny. What have you wasted exactly?

We don't all have the same humour and you sound very hard work also.

MonsteraMama · 23/07/2024 08:05

This is pathetic OP, you need to get several grips, block this guy and move on. You're hanging your self worth on whether or not a guy who doesn't seem that interested in you found your joke funny.

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BowlOfNoodles · 23/07/2024 08:08

GrumpinessPersonified13 · 23/07/2024 00:43

We've been casually hooking up for almost a year now. I'd decided to stop messaging because it was completely messing with my head: I'd be really stressed when he didn't reply, it started off with us messaging the same amount but drifted more and more towards me always sending the first message in an exchange. He was always happy to meet up... But he never instigated it. That kind of thing. There was always a streak of unkindness in him and a few red flags; he seemed to have quite a misogynist world view in general although I never felt unsafe around him or anything like that. I made allowances as I find him really attractive and there aren't many men at all who I fancy enough to kiss, let alone sleep with. And I have been single for YEARS so it was really nice to have someone who I actually liked in that way. After months of no communication (wherein my mental health definitely improved) I was out with my friend and we thought it would be a good idea to message him. We had a bit of flirtatious back and forth and he said something to which I replied with something I thought was hilarious. I was honestly so proud of my text, it was so funny (in my opinion!). Anyway he hasn't replied and now my text is just sat there, with 2 blue ticks, and he's clearly got no intention of replying! I am so annoyed and I don't know why??? I just feel like I have wasted so much energy on this guy and he didn't even laugh-react at my joke. I don't know why it is bothering me so much? We never did have the same sense of humour anyway. Help me see sense, please?

It's very taxing giving lots to enthusiasm and putting effort in and reaching a brick wall in fact it's painful be that with men friends family. It will break your spirit eventually stop for yourself.

Luio · 23/07/2024 08:26

You need to stop giving this guy headspace. You will be thinking about him a thousand times more than he is thinking about you. I guarantee that he won’t be analysing your blue ticks and theorising about your internal prejudices. Move on.

achipandachair · 23/07/2024 09:28

I believe you! (that your text was really funny)
He is a waste of your time. Find someone who appreciates your sense of humour. It's harder than finding a man you fancy but worth it.
Either he

  • didn't really get it
  • enjoyed it, but doesn't know how to riff on it and is ashamed to just admit it's funny without "bettering" you
  • but he enjoyed it all the same in that case. User

Get rid of him. Move on. Get you a man who can do both (make you laugh and make you come)

Original poster
GrumpinessPersonified13 · 26/07/2024 13:46

PoodlesRUs · 23/07/2024 03:04

Are you so rarely funny as to be this hung up on "wasting" a joke?

Yes! 😃
Hahaha!

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpinessPersonified13 · 26/07/2024 13:53

Some men don't laugh at women's jokes. They don't expect women to be witty. They are unnerved by funny women. Humour displays a self-confidence and irreverence and independent outlook on the world that doesn't fit with their little-woman-here-on-the-planet-to-service-me niche they prefer to squeeze women into. He may be one of those sadsacks.

@Meadowwild I think you've nailed it. He thinks of himself as somewhat of an intellectual / thinks he is above others. I think he wants me to be less irreverent about the whole set-up. He really loves being complimented etc. He will tease me but doesn't like being teased back. And my message with the joke wasn't really teasing him anyway. Was just a bit of punning.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpinessPersonified13 · 26/07/2024 14:03

Thanks for all the replies. I have given my head several wobbles!
I do think that I'm quite a bit over-invested; more so than he is in me.
I don't think he now has a partner, though I obviously can't be sure about this.
I think he hasn't replied because although he likes a bit of sexy bantz, with me bigging him up, he doesn't like that I made puns about a phrase he used; he probably thinks he was being mocked. (Though if roles were reversed, I'd have just replied with more puns in the same vein.)
Anyway I think I will leave it for now. There obviously isn't a future for us as we are clearly so incompatible!!

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpinessPersonified13 · 26/07/2024 14:04

... Plus he is quite sexist and arrogant and I don't really want to be with someone like that. Even if he is extremely hot.

OP posts:
INeedAnotherName · 26/07/2024 14:11

After months of no communication (wherein my mental health definitely improved) I was out with my friend and we thought it would be a good idea to message him.

You weren't in regular contact then you sent him a "drunk" text? Yeah, I'm not surprised he didn't respond. Time to move on from him, time to stop being influenced by friends especially after a drink or two, time to realise that funny texts are rarely that funny. It's nothing to do with mh and everything to do with growing up.

WhereDoWeGoFromHereHmmm · 26/07/2024 14:25

I think you have been using him for a bit of validation from a physical and somewhat emotional point of view. You're willing to overlook his less attractive points to allow this to happen.

When you've tried to rekindle this and sought further validation from him, with more of an intellectual/humour connection, he hasn't engaged. That stings. I get it.

Honestly he sounds fucking AWFUL and you need to totally disengage from him and move forward. Work on validating yourself in other ways so that people like this have less/no power over your feelings and mental health.

ExhaustedHousewife · 26/07/2024 14:30

If he's as hot as you say,then he won't still be single by now.Even if he is a total tosspot.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 26/07/2024 14:48

You bruised his ego by not contacting him for five months when he was used to you making all the running so that he could accept or decline at will.

Then he received some from the Bar texts from you. He bantered back to make sure you were in a talkative mode and involved in the renewed conversation, and when you sent the joke (which was clearly a conversational/pleasing effort) he read it and blanked you. It was payback. To teach you a lesson and make you feel foolish for contacting him.

He's clearly a master game player and seems like a really full of himself, horrible character.

Keep looking, there are much better people out there and you don't want to get stuck in his game labyrinth where he dictates all the "rules" again.

BirthdayRainbow · 26/07/2024 14:55

Just because you've used the joke in this man doesn't mean you can't use it again. This seems to be an issue with you.

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