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Boomer parents

419 replies

Freesamples · 19/07/2024 23:29

Anyone else got a boomer for a parent that a) has no idea how the world currently works and b) loves to put the boot in and c) is absolutely delusional about how much things cost.

me, I love to sniff out a bargain, crowning glory the summer hols I’ve booked for me, dh and dcs. 4 star+ AI, 2 adults 2 kids, package £2k and in summer holidays. Absolute belter. All to be met with a chorus of how expensive that is and how much we’re over paying and how they’d spend no more than £1k on holidays for us (in the mid early 00s). Plus, don’t want to go there, they hate brits, it’s too hot. (All places we went as kids btw)

it can’t be just me

OP posts:
Trinity65 · 20/07/2024 11:02

Mind You when I think on it I guess the Baby Boomer Generation is post War when Husbands returned Home.

PreciousMahoney · 20/07/2024 11:03

@neurodiversitydoctor sorry just realised you meant living like this as an ADULT if you are a boomer.

I think it still stands though that they were tough times in very different ways.

You forget though. Previous posts made me actually think back to things that were normal up until 10 years old, going to bed with a lemonade bottle filled with hot water, icicles on the toilet and seeing my breath in bed the room was so cold.

And now I sound like that Monty Python sketch where its a race to the bottom on how hard we all had it, but meh, it's hard not to eye roll at us all being told how unreasonable and selfish we are.

Jesus that poor 87 year old and the attitude to him wanting to pay for an operation, but hey my holibob only cost 2 grand
(I appreciate OP it wasn't you who said that but fuck me it comes across a bit in the general melee of the thread)

5128gap · 20/07/2024 11:04

ContentSolitude · 20/07/2024 10:56

I was most definitely not raised middle class. Given house deposits? Given childcare? I'm gen x and got none of those. Neither did my boomer parents. Actually my mother was offered childcare by my grandmother, but they moved too far away to take advantage of that. My mother never even offered us the same.

I really doubt it is the norm to be given house deposits. If you get that you're very lucky. I'm sure it has to be a minority get that amazing hand up.

I doubt I'll inherit anything and I don't care.

So, it's not your norm (nor mine, as a fellow gen X who recieved nothing!) but it's true for some. Which is exactly the same as its only true for some boomers that they are advantaged. That's my point. People are looking at a subset of the boomer generation and extrapolating from that they are all advantaged, and we could easily look at the subset of advantaged millenials and draw the same questionable conclusions.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

ContentSolitude · 20/07/2024 11:07

5128gap · 20/07/2024 11:04

So, it's not your norm (nor mine, as a fellow gen X who recieved nothing!) but it's true for some. Which is exactly the same as its only true for some boomers that they are advantaged. That's my point. People are looking at a subset of the boomer generation and extrapolating from that they are all advantaged, and we could easily look at the subset of advantaged millenials and draw the same questionable conclusions.

My boomer parents aren't so advantaged but my silent generation ILs certainly are. They made profits on real estate but they did work hard for it.

I have no idea what proportion of people getting into the housing market are given deposits but I suspect it's a small minority.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 20/07/2024 11:08

Butteredtoast55 · 20/07/2024 10:50

Anyone saying you don't know any boomers who lived like this, allow me to introduce myself. I am right at the end of the BB generation and this was exactly what it was like. My parents bought their house in 1963 - my Dad had also lived there until his late teens. Certainly up until I was 8 or 9, so early 70s, it had no central heating, single glazing so draughty we put books on the windowsills to hold the curtains down because of the draughts, there was a copper in the corner of the kitchen for the washing and I vividly remember when we got a twin tub machine and the mangle was consigned to the garden! My DM worked full time at the co op so shopped there and would bring the shopping home on the bus back. We had no fridge so this was a necessity really.
I'm not writing this as a 'we lived in a paper bag in the street' way but just to say yes, it was like this for some.

But not as an adult, how were thi gs in the 70's /80's when you had your own children ?

CurlewKate · 20/07/2024 11:14

Do you like being able to get your own credit card? Not having to leave work when you have a baby? Not being sacked if you are discovered to be gay? Having refuges to escape domestic violence? Equal pay for equal work? Yes? Well, maybe thank the women who fought for those things for you....

ContentSolitude · 20/07/2024 11:17

CurlewKate · 20/07/2024 11:14

Do you like being able to get your own credit card? Not having to leave work when you have a baby? Not being sacked if you are discovered to be gay? Having refuges to escape domestic violence? Equal pay for equal work? Yes? Well, maybe thank the women who fought for those things for you....

When I find them, I'll thank them. Not my parents.

CurlewKate · 20/07/2024 11:21

@ContentSolitude "When I find them, I'll thank them. Not my parents"

I rest my case. People are dickheads because they're dickheads. Not because of when they're born.

ContentSolitude · 20/07/2024 11:23

CurlewKate · 20/07/2024 11:21

@ContentSolitude "When I find them, I'll thank them. Not my parents"

I rest my case. People are dickheads because they're dickheads. Not because of when they're born.

A very fair point.

sunglassesonthetable · 20/07/2024 11:24

I rest my case. People are dickheads because they're dickheads. Not because of when they're born.

This totally.

PreciousMahoney · 20/07/2024 11:29

And now I'm on it I've remembered something else that isn't put up with now.

I worked as a secretary for years, started in 1973 as a junior invoice typist. I've lost count of how many times I was groped, patted, made comments about from male managers/co workers. There was absolutely no point complaining as it went nowhere and I worked for some very high end organisations. Ended up just either kneeing them in the bollox or slapping their chops. That worked but I was then not a 'good sport' which I didn't give a fiddlers fuck about.

I think the point is that we all had our crosses to bear whatever generation and possibly those whining now might look back later with a tad understanding that each brings its own problems, different but still problems.

Notmyfirstusername · 20/07/2024 12:07

5128gap · 20/07/2024 10:47

Couldn't you just as easily ask yourself how your boomer mothers life was easier than any of your generation who have grown up in middle class families with every advantage, who's parents gifted them a house deposit and provide free childcare, and who in the fullness of time will benefit from a large chunk of free money in inheritance to enjoy in their retirement? Because surely your own upbringing shows you that social inequalities are rooted in wealth disparity far more than the generation you're born into?

I was reacting specifically to the person talking about having a northern boomer childhood and explaining to them that people born 10-15 years after they did experienced the exact same things, probably worse at times. What they didn’t have was the things that statistically boomers benefited from as a generation, but were removed for people who came along after them. Things have gotten even harder for the generations after mine, and if I was a child now, apart from the coal fire and access to food banks rather than starvation for a few days when the money ran out, I don’t think my childhood would have changed very much at all. What would have changed is the opportunities available to kids exactly like me.

For example Alevel provision in order to go to university. Kids 6 years older than me had access to a 6th form at my school, a 20 minutes walk from my house. By the time I came along, that was removed, but there was a community college an hours bus journey away and I was eligible for a bus pass. For kids now, there are no A level providers at all in that local Authority. Kids have no choice but to go to schools and colleges 4-5 miles away with no help with transportation.

Once at University, those older than me had access to full grants, housing benefit and job seekers during the holidays. For me, those grants turned into partial loans with no access to outside help and left me with £5 a month for food ( officially I was not allowed to work during my degree, but I had no choice). For kids just like me now, they have to take out £9k loans for tuition fees and then further loans for maintenance that don’t even cover half the rent in most student accommodation. They then leave with tens of thousands of debt hanging over every thing they do for most of their lives unless they get a very high paying job.

Obviously, we’re all aware of the issues with rental accommodation, hefty deposits if they do somehow manage to earn enough to buy a house, childcare through the roof, education for their kids failing, and on and on and on. All of those things that kids like me, with parents who need our financial help to survive rather than being able to help us at all have to navigate completely on their own. The safety nets have all been removed or drastically reduced.

There are lots of boomers, who having upbringings in poverty, but managed to work hard and now live middle class lifestyles don’t seem to understand that the ladder was pulled up behind them in lots of ways. Yes, they had it hard, but if they attempted to do the exact same thing 10/20/30 years later, they’d discover how things got progressively harder for children just like them.

Our grandparents, the silent generation and below, who lived through 2 world wars, understood this and fought for things such as the welfare state and the NHS so life would be better for everyone’s children, not just their own. Some of their children however, as a vocal minority seem to spend their lives thinking that as they had it hard, why shouldn’t everyone else?

Coughsweet · 20/07/2024 12:15

Millennials are forecast to be the richest generation in history due to all the inherited wealth but the impact of this will be massively skewed between those where there is property to inherit and those where there isn’t.

Availability of social housing is more limited and the pattern of working has changed for many - my DM started in-work training (and therefore earning) at 16 and lived at home/with a relative for many years. My DCs are unlikely to start working full time until they are around 22 and will be paying rent as students then taking up much of their wages for years after that. They will be able to buy at some point because of inheritance and honestly it won’t be that tough for them but for those without this the situation is completely different.

Coughsweet · 20/07/2024 12:19

Free university is an interesting one. My DPs didn’t go so they didn’t have this, this was a benefit that a much smaller proportion took up. It’s often mentioned on MN but if you had a “boomer” parent who went to university then you are in the minority across society has a whole.

PreciousMahoney · 20/07/2024 12:23

Well as one of those who you use as an example of ladder pulling (I find that statement hurtful)...I've four children who I want a better future for than the one I had.

If you read my posts I had a very poor background, yes you're right I worked hard and paid into a pension, brought my children up and was skint for years (and no 2k holidays), to just last year clear my mortgage.

I certainly don't want a ladder pulled up behind me, what would that mean for my children and grandchildren?

But do forgive me for rolling my eyes at some of the whining, I totally empathise that it's harder but its not OUR fault!

That said, its easier to blame the generaton that mostly tried our best for ourselves and our kids rather than look at the hugely complex issues that have ACTUALLY made it this way.

skyfalldown · 20/07/2024 13:31

People here love to throw out accusations of 'ageism' but only ever when it's directed at the older generations. Generalising younger people as lazy, frivilous and entitled is always okay though.

Isabella70 · 20/07/2024 13:31

Neurodiversitydoctor · 20/07/2024 09:00

Er no if you wereborn in 1946 you were an adult until the mid sixties. The rebuilding happened mainly in the 1950's.

On women's and gay rights you absolutely have a point.

The physical rebuilding was in the 50s and 60s, the loans to pay for that rebuilding carried on throughout most "boomers'" adult lives. The person born in 1946 you mention was 60 when the debts to the US and Canada were finally paid off, and that was only part of the debt.

sunglassesonthetable · 20/07/2024 13:57

Generalising younger people as lazy, frivilous and entitled is always okay though.

nope don't think it is.

LindorDoubleChoc · 20/07/2024 14:20

ContentSolitude · 20/07/2024 11:17

When I find them, I'll thank them. Not my parents.

Find them? They are all around you, many on this thread! I was on protest marches before many on this thread were even born! Have you even heard of Greenham Common or CND?

justasking111 · 20/07/2024 14:25

My friend spent three weeks at greenham common. Wore her CND badge daily for years.

faffadoodledo · 20/07/2024 14:29

Absolutely @LindorDoubleChoc and there are probably thousands of female 'boomers' who took part in just those protests.
Bloody boomers did a lot to secure the rights and society we have today.
My parents used to talk of growing up in the 1950s with all its unspoken societal codes. Then in the 60s and 70s suddenly anything seemed possible. I wonder who broke down those barriers hmmmmm.....

And again, I'm too young to be a boomer so can't claim credit! I'm narrowly a Gen X!!

MsGoodenough · 20/07/2024 14:56

I think the term 'boomer' is always used pejoratively and therefore by definition ageist. The name of the generation was always 'Baby Boomer' until people wanted to throw it around as an insult. It's like the unisex version of 'Karen'. Your parents may well be annoying OP but that's not a reason to use ageist terms.

Marbledwhite · 20/07/2024 15:05

Generalising younger people as lazy, frivilous and entitled is always okay though.

No, that's not ok. Presumably you point it out to any poster who makes such a generalisation?

LindorDoubleChoc · 20/07/2024 15:06

It's really a single issue matter - the cost of housing - and the problem we have is too few homes for our population.

Blame Thatcher for selling off the council houses (and all subsequent Governments who were too cowardly to reverse that) the unchecked rise of BTL landlords, our stupid tax laws which allow foreign billionaires to own swathes of prime real estate, marriage breakdown (millions more single parent households), stagnant wages and salaries, and yes to a lesser extent, immigration. If your boomer parents aren't involved in BTL or any of these other activities ... then don't blame them for your harder life! If housing was more affordable you wouldn't be complaining.

As a boomer (both DH and I still working to pay our mortgage btw) I'm worried sick about how my young adult chikdren are going to afford to live. Boomers are your family - they aren't the enemy!

Neurodiversitydoctor · 20/07/2024 15:10

MsGoodenough · 20/07/2024 14:56

I think the term 'boomer' is always used pejoratively and therefore by definition ageist. The name of the generation was always 'Baby Boomer' until people wanted to throw it around as an insult. It's like the unisex version of 'Karen'. Your parents may well be annoying OP but that's not a reason to use ageist terms.

This is interesting

https://thesciencesurvey.com/editorial/2020/03/05/is-boomer-a-slur/

Is “Boomer” a Slur?

The older and younger generations have always been at each other’s throats, quarrelling with current events and the changes in culture over the decades. Generational debates have been sprawled throughout various social media platforms, particularly Fac...

https://thesciencesurvey.com/editorial/2020/03/05/is-boomer-a-slur