Would you be happy with your dc staying at this house with this dog there?

[Thewholeplaceispickled]

I honestly don’t know if I am being irrational or not as in all honesty I’ve not been in a situation like this before (parenting teens throws something at you every day!).

Before I explain this situation I must add that I am a dog lover. I’ve always had dogs in my life. We own a dog and I am a dog walker (I have always walked small breeds though).

However, I won’t lie, there are certain breeds that leave me feel uneasy. Although I know enough about dogs to know the size doesn’t always indicate the level of aggression etc.

DD16 has been invited to spend the weekend at her friends house. Friend splits her time between her fathers house and mother’s/step father’s home. Dd has only been to the mum’s/step dad’s home once, the mum was present at that time. Usually her friend comes to ours as her father’s home is just a mile away from where we live.

This weekend the mum/step dad are away and so this is why the friend has said dd can stay over (mum/step dad’s house is a 50 min drive away from ours so not somewhere I could get to quickly).

I have no issue with this apart from the fact they have a large Rottweiler. Dd has only seen this dog the one time she visited. Tbh, even though we have had dog’s since she was 4 she is wary of large dogs. As far as I know though this dog is a gentle giant and has never shown aggression towards anyone but I’m still on edge about it because

1. the dog has recently lost his sibling and sadly still mourns them so could possibly be in a different state of mind atm
2. dd friend has only been in this dog’s life a year or so as he originally belonged to the step dad so not sure how much control she would have over the dog (both she and dd are tiny framed)
3. as I’ve mentioned, dd has never really met this dog before and also dd is on her period (sounds weird but some dog’s can act differently when we are mensturating!).

Friend says she will keep the dog away from dd all weekend but I’m still unsure and anxious about the whole situation.

Am I just being over cautious here?

WWYD?

No answer but feel your difficulty with this!! I'd be very wary too for all the reasons you've stated. Is your daughter's friend totally responsible for the dog over the full weekend?

Thanks, I really am on edge especially given recent publicity over the many dog attacks we have in this country these days.

Yes, the friend has sole responsibility for the dog over the weekend. The mother, step father and step siblings are all away.

Have you met the dog? I think I would want to be able to judge him myself

I haven’t as it’s over a 100 mile round trip to their house so sadly it’s not like I can just pop in and from my experience with dogs, a quick meet with him probably won’t give me much indication of how he’s likely to act with a stranger in his house for a whole weekend.

Can you call the mum and stepdad and talk it through? IME most rottie owners are well aware of their pet's reputation and as you know most rotties are indeed gentle giants. But its perfectly reasonable to ask a) how settled the dog is atm, b) has their DD any experience of looking after the dog by herself c) does the dog cope ok with new people in its space and d) what advice has the DD been given if the dog is stressed, behaving out of character or just becomes unwell - is there an adult nearby for her to turn to for help?

I'm thinking when my kids were 14 we probably would not have left them to care for our DDog, who is a BC, also a tricky breed. Our dog has no history of aggression and is fine with visitors. But I would have worried that with new people in the house, change in routine and possibly less exercise than usual she might get stressed and just be a pain in the bum and bark a lot for attention

Now they are 18+ I have no qualms about leaving Ddog with them, but I trust them now to exercise her enough.

That said if this dog is very placid the risks could be totally different.

I'm not sure the size of the dog is the big issue. A very grumpy chihuahua or jack russell could give a nasty bite. I would take equal caution with a small dog. So I would be clear when you talk to the owners you are more concerned about the dog being under stress than the size or breed of dog.

How would you feel if the dog was a Golden Retriever?
My Goldie is capable of doing as much damage as a Rottweiler but people think hes's a big teddy.

Absolutely not!

I would be very uneasy having a child around a dog that is big enough to kill a human, and too big for a teenager to pull off.

Too many stories over the years of Rottweilers suddenly turning on their people.

I doubt that.

No is the answer, I would not be comfortable. Even without your list.
You have to do what is right for you and your child. They are dangerous dogs, and my children are too important to me to take the risk.

I love dogs! But draw the line with breeds that are a known danger.

Obviously, I am aware that any dog can bite (believe me I’ve had my fair share of bites over the years) but I know from experience that a smaller dog is less likely to inflict the kind of injuries that a larger dog is capable of. Rotties are often gentle giants and beautiful dogs but when it goes wrong it’s often a complete disaster. A lady in a nearby village was killed last year from injuries inflicted by her Rottweiler.

If you look online you can find the written log of all the dog inflicted deaths over the years, not only are they on the increase but no adult human has died from a smaller dog attack.

Not a fucking chance would my kid stay there.

No way.

I’ve been bitten by a lab in the past so yes, I would be wary if it’s a GR or any large dog.
I’ve seen poorly dogs go into a frenzy. Now if that happens to be say my Yorkshire terrier/jr cross it would bloody hurt but I could over power him.
I (and certainly not my 8 stone dd) could never overpower a strong larger dog be that a golden retriever or any larger dog.
So yes, to answer your question I would feel wary of any large dog.

I think its reasonable to ask the very sensible and thorough questions someone posted upthread. (It was bigcoatlady.)
Any responsible parent would fully understand your concerns.

No way. Not worth the risk.

I would probably feel a little more comfortable had the parent been there but only just because in all honesty, from my past experiences with them I know they’ll tell me everything is ok and will dismiss my concerns.

No, I wouldn't be in a house with one myself and certainly wouldn't be happy about my child being in a house with one.
The link below is harrowing reading and graphic but if you are even considering for one second letting you daughter do this please read it.

www.heraldscotland.com/news/11923440.girl-tried-to-save-friend-from-rottweilers/

That's your answer then. If they are going to dismiss your concerns I'm not sure I'd be comfortable DD going 50 mins away.

No one on MN can tell you how safe this dog is. The one rottie I know well I would happily leave my kids with. BUT that doesn't help you as this is a different dog. The only people who can help you are the owners and you don't trust them to give you a straight answer which is a red flag.

It isn't the dog or the breed but the owners - let's face it, it's always the owners. Good owners would have been in touch with you to check if you were ok with the dog situation.

Which bit?
A previous Retriever almost killed a GSD that attacked him. The GSD thought it was funny to encourage his dog to attack our "soppy" dog, he soon stopped laughing.
ANY large dog can do a lot of damage, I wouldn't fancy my chances if our boy attacked me but I am as certain as anyone can be that he won't.
If there are reasons (other than being a Rottweiler) that Op has concerns then fair enough

The size and more importantly the breed is very much the issue. Stupid to try and compare the damage a rottweiler could do to a 16 year old to a bloody jack Russell that the 16 year old would easily pick up and through across the room if need be.

There's always one 🙄

@Thewholeplaceispickled if you're worried enough to post on here then clearly it's not going to sit well with you if your DD does go (although I'm sure she'll be absolutely fine) so I would ring the parents and have a chat and then take it from there .

FWIW we had a Rottweiler growing up and he was the softest most lovable dog I have ever had. He wasn't at all fazed by kids and often had small children climbing all over him and was an amazing guard dog. Of course they're big and strong but generally they will only act in defence if they are provoked, feel threatened or need to protect their pack. A Rottweilers instinct is to protect. Generally - if they have been raised and trained well - they will be soft as anything and a great family dog but be on alert for danger / intruders - surely that's how we want dogs to be?!

I currently have 2 dogs who are crossbreeds and have the potential to be far more aggressive than the Rottweiler ever was!

Anyway here's a story about a golden retriever attacking a child to balance things out

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/boy-6-needed-surgery-after-30866709

There's always one what? Do you think that an eyeroll is really appropriate in relation to a news article about a 12 year old girl that was attacked and decapitated by the very breed of dog op is concerned about?
If you honestly think that appropriate then you should be ashamed. I linked to that particular story because I know the family and knew the child. It has had a huge impact on me over the years and you are just downright rude and disrespectful.

I love dogs too......but I would be giving a strong no to that.

Dd has said she’s happy not to go as she has admitted she is a little wary of the dog so that’s that.

She's still be a pretty stupid parent to let her 16 yr old go and stay with a mardy JRT. JRTs inflict far more bites than any other breed.

No shade on JRTs, my neighbours have a couple who are lovely dogs, but nippy little sods. I'd never let kids play with them.

My point was not large dogs are safe but that no breed is. Because bites from small dogs aren't fatal they don't hit the papers but children suffer tens of thousands of bites from them every year because people are complacent about their small dogs.