Would you be happy with your dc staying at this house with this dog there?

[Thewholeplaceispickled]

I honestly don’t know if I am being irrational or not as in all honesty I’ve not been in a situation like this before (parenting teens throws something at you every day!).

Before I explain this situation I must add that I am a dog lover. I’ve always had dogs in my life. We own a dog and I am a dog walker (I have always walked small breeds though).

However, I won’t lie, there are certain breeds that leave me feel uneasy. Although I know enough about dogs to know the size doesn’t always indicate the level of aggression etc.

DD16 has been invited to spend the weekend at her friends house. Friend splits her time between her fathers house and mother’s/step father’s home. Dd has only been to the mum’s/step dad’s home once, the mum was present at that time. Usually her friend comes to ours as her father’s home is just a mile away from where we live.

This weekend the mum/step dad are away and so this is why the friend has said dd can stay over (mum/step dad’s house is a 50 min drive away from ours so not somewhere I could get to quickly).

I have no issue with this apart from the fact they have a large Rottweiler. Dd has only seen this dog the one time she visited. Tbh, even though we have had dog’s since she was 4 she is wary of large dogs. As far as I know though this dog is a gentle giant and has never shown aggression towards anyone but I’m still on edge about it because

1. the dog has recently lost his sibling and sadly still mourns them so could possibly be in a different state of mind atm
2. dd friend has only been in this dog’s life a year or so as he originally belonged to the step dad so not sure how much control she would have over the dog (both she and dd are tiny framed)
3. as I’ve mentioned, dd has never really met this dog before and also dd is on her period (sounds weird but some dog’s can act differently when we are mensturating!).

Friend says she will keep the dog away from dd all weekend but I’m still unsure and anxious about the whole situation.

Am I just being over cautious here?

WWYD?

No, I wouldn't. As you know from being a dog owner, any can turn, and I think the reasons you've outlined as your concerns would 100% be enough to say no, not this time. In the future, if the parents are there and time has passed so the dog feels settled again that may well be different. But it would be a hard no from me. Don't let awkwardness stop you listening to your instincts.

I’d understand the concern if your daughter was a young child, but surely at 16 the girls know how to behave around a dog and leave it alone?

For those asking if I’d feel the same if the dog was a breed such as a golden retriever, the answer is yes. Tbh due to my experience with dogs I know that any dog has the potential to turn and/or attack. A simple ear infection can change a placid dog overnight. Problem is that many owners fail to notice subtle changes in their dog’s behaviour and I’d worry that dd’s friend wouldn’t notice any changes in this dog if he perhaps was uncomfortable with a stranger in their home. Dogs don’t always bark or growl, they can show very unusual behaviours at times. Our rescue wags his tail like a rattle snake, people think it’s a sign he’s happy, it’s not, it’s literally like a rattle snake, it’s a back off warning. But he’s never growl as some would expect as a warning, just shakes his tail.

And my other point is that a nip/bite from a smaller dog is bad enough (I have the scars to prove that) but a bite or God forbid an actual attack from a 7+ stone breed like a Rottweiler would be unimaginable.

I’ve mentioned above, a quick google and you can find a list of UK fatal dog attacks since the 1980’s and not one adult has been killed by a smaller breed dog.

Tbh, deep down I knew the answer to my question I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being ott, I had a wobble over my own decision making for a second!

There's always one who finds an article about the dog breed / incident that the OP is worried about to post. Despite the fact that there are thousands of Rottweilers living in homes across the UK and millions round the world, but the rare incident gets picked up by the media and you use it to prove a point which is just nonsensical.

Same as the post the other day where the OP was worried about her 9 yo walking to the shop with a friend and someone posted a news article about the Soham murders (from over 20 years ago) to try to prove that it wasn't safe to let children walk go out on their own!

You’d hope so but as I’ve pointed out, some dogs can attack for no apparent reason. What if this dog became uncomfortable because of a stranger in his home and was (in his mind) protecting one of his own (ie the friend)?

When we first got our current rescue he attacked our feet. Would go into a frenzy. A trip straight to the vet found a deep ear infection (so deep he needed to be put under to find it). He was showing no signs of a classic ear infection, no head shaking, scratching or rubbing ear on sofas etc. The rescue weren’t even aware when they handed him to us but it was enough to momentarily change him.

Even our previous placid wonderful Norfolk terrier who was so well behaved he was a Pet as Therapy dog, once bit my husband, turned out he had a tumour.

I adore dogs but am constantly mindful that any dog at anytime can attack, even if you (seemingly) do nothing to provoke that attack and there are a myriad of reasons why.

I don’t have a 9 year old, I didn’t post that thread!

It doesn’t matter how many people own dogs who appear wonderful and have never attacked, the point of my thread is that when and if they do it is much much worse coming from a large powerful breed than a smaller dog. And my dd is not known to this dog which could, potentially be an issue.

Sadly, dog attacks are on the rise.

I have had dogs all of my 51 years and as I’ve said I’m also a dog walker. I love and respect dogs but am intelligent enough to know they are animals and too many people humanise them and expect them to act like us. This is why we have a problem with the uprise in dog attacks.

I know dogs and if you see the reasons I’ve given to feel apprehensive you’d understand. My daughter is a stranger to this dog and the poor animal is in mourning for its brother. These things can change an animal’s personality.

Doesn't change the fact that when these dogs attack the outcome is usually catastrophic. There is nothing nonsensical about a child being decapitated by a animal. I Also stand by my comments that you should be ashamed of yourself for using an eyeroll emoji in the context of an article about a child losing their life.

As a Rottweiler owner, I think you've made the right call @Thewholeplaceispickled

Yes they are, for the most part, gentle giants and our girl is a soft as your pocket and just loves a cuddle - but there are still certain situations that can make even the most loving pet turn (I was once attacked out of nowhere by my boyfriends Samoyed, funnily enough it was when I was on my period. The dog had me pinned against a wall while he tried to bite me, it was terrifying! Luckily BF's dad wrestled him off me and put him in the kitchen. This was a dog that I'd spend years getting to know, walking him, brushing him - I thought we were friends! so you just never know)

My DD's best friend often comes round and I try my best to keep our dog separate from the girls, not because I don't trust her, but because I'm a responsible dog owner

I have a gsd, that is reactive to strangers in the house, everyone who knows me and knows my dog, trusts me fully. She is muzzle trained and once she knows you she’s amazing! The best dog I’ve ever had with my kids, however I wouldn’t trust any one else, so completely understand! It’s just not worth the risk. Especially with no parent present! I’d really only trust people I know with big dogs to be honest and that includes all breeds! I’ve been bitten twice by a lab, really quite bad too! I think you made the right choice

Thank you.

That attack must have been terrifying, I have noticed a difference in some dogs behaviours towards me when I’ve been on my period, I do think it can, sometimes, trigger a dog.

You are most definitely a responsible dog owner, wish there were more like you. I too keep our rescue separate from my dc’s visitors. He’s been with us 2 years now but he’s a rescue at the end of the day, it is my duty as his owner to protect him and others.

That is my main concern, the parents aren’t there and as this dog was raised by the step dad he’s more than likely to take the commands from him and he won’t be there, I just can’t feel rest assured DD’s friend who has only been in this dogs life for less than 2 years (and only lives there at the weekends) could control him if need be (and she probably weighs less than the dog, she’s teeny).

I’ve got 3 Rottweilers, and when my teenagers have friends round the dogs are shut away. Not because they are aggressive, but they are big and boisterous, and can easily knock you flying.
My male is a bit ‘quirky’, and he can growl at times if he’s not happy. My teens are more than capable of looking after him for a day if I’m at a show with the other 2, but if they have friends round then he is kept well away from them. He has met some of their friends before, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with that if I wasn’t around.

You are obviously a very responsible dog owner. Wish they were all like you.

Interesting you countered a fatal attack with an attack that wasn't fatal and didn't scar the child.

I wouldn't be concerned just because it's a Rottweiler no. Most of them are quite gentle and easily trained.
I'm assuming she knows how to behave around dogs if you've always had them around.