Should I send DD to school nursery or keep her private?

[QuestioningEveryLittleThing]

Looking for some advice from those who have gone through this already. (Sorry for long post…) DD is currently in an ofsted ‘outstanding’ private nursery a 5 min drive from our house. Has been there since she was 1, full time. She’s now 3. She loves it, has been very happy there, knows everyone and has loads of friends. She’s confident and has really thrived. She’s a June baby.

She has a place at our local primary nursery for Sept 24, which is a 5 minute walk and has an amazing outdoor space attached to a forest. They offer wraparound care on site which we would need, and this is the primary we hope she would end up going to in reception, so long as she gets a place.

I'm currently on mat leave with DS who arrived in March 24. It has been a bit of a roller coaster but DD finally seems to have settled after the initial upheaval of new sibling. My question is around whether this change is going to throw her again so soon after the new sibling? There are 2 people going to the same nursery from her existing nursery but that’s it. What if she regresses / hates it?! I also don’t feel like I can devote 100% of my time to helping her to transition as I’ve got her brother strapped to me 24/7 at the moment and it’s hard. I’ll be doing drop off / pick ups everyday. The main reason for the move though is that it’s so much cheaper than our private nursery which is £1500 a month. The school wraparound is less than £400 a month so a significant saving.

Hubbie thinks she’ll be fine and wants her to be able to enjoy the great outdoor space at the school. But then I’ll be doing most of the admin, and they don’t have a holiday club either - there are some but they’re off site. So that would be another change for her to get used to… if we had the spare money I would defo prefer to keep her at her existing nursery where her brother will also be going to from Feb next year. But I feel conflicted. We could probably just about manage at a push but it would be a stretch financially. Am I making it way more complicated than it needs to be?! And to those who have done it, did your child transition fairly easily from one to another? And what about holiday clubs that were off site - did they hate them? My niece hates hers so my sister has ended up having to take most of the holidays off work to hang out with her…

Thanks to those who have made it this far! And thanks so much in advance for any advice..

applying

Too late for the edit button

@Whinge I have used 2 different holiday clubs when my son was 3. They definitely do exist!

The holiday club part is the one that could possibly make me hesitate. School nursery itself sounds fabulous, she knows others going and costs less.

Some children take better to holiday clubs and new settings than others. I used them in limited amounts for DC2 when they were in nursery and they were ok going but not as happy as in nursery. As I only needed for max 5 days in the whole summer, I sent them. But it wouldn’t have been so easy sending multiple times all year round as they just didn’t love it that much.

Don’t feel any guilt about needing a break from having them at home together all week. It is so hard when they’re younger and more demanding and I used to be so grateful I worked for this very reason!

Oh and the ones I used were 9-5 with the option to pay for 8-6 if you needed it

Here is one example -

https://holidayacademy.co.uk/

When my kids were little they went to a childminder rather than nursery. Then when they started school nursery the childminder was our wraparound care and holiday care. I still had to pay full fees even though they were at nursery for 3 hrs a day but they was the Ts & Cs. The eldest was at the childminder when he started school so I just paid for the hours he was there so school holidays were more expensive.
Can you find out if there is a childminder that covers the school nursery? Might be a better option for holidays than holiday club.

I'm glad you and the OP have holiday clubs near you that accept 3 year olds, but it's very unusual for them to do so. All our local clubs are 4+ / 5+ and the hours aren't as generous as the one you linked to.

Sure. I don't doubt that some areas are poorly served but you seemed to be doubting the OP so I thought I would explain that this sort of provision does exist in some places

Yes, I would have thought a childminder was the best solution for you. Have you considered this? They can both go there and no worries about holiday clubs etc, it's throughcare up until secondary school if you find a good one!

@prescribingmum thank you. I’m beginning to think the holiday clubs aren’t the best idea for her age group, especially considering she’s a summer baby

We kept ours in private nursery until they started reception. It meant we had the full year round childcare and at that time, there were no holiday clubs for pre-school children in our area. No idea now as we're well out of needing it.

@Topjoe19 thank you for this. I totally agree about giving school kids a break from school / childcare and we would of course take our 5 weeks holiday from work to spend with the kiddos during the year, so I guess that would be 2ish weeks in the summer, a week at Easter and then other couple of half terms. So it wouldn’t be holiday club / school all of the time. But it’s still a lot for them isn’t it? I had considered maybe dropping down to term time only at work as they do offer it, but no idea if I could actually cope financially or mentally looking after kids for 6 weeks over the summer

Definitely don’t be embarrassed! Mine all Went to nursery while their siblings were babies and so did all their friends, it’s totally normal and to pull her out wouldn’t do her any favours. I’d take mine out for the odd zoo day etc.

in regards to switching…I would do it. I used private nurseries and they are amazing for full year care, but cripplingly expensive. But I found that the switch to school was harder as my DD didn’t know anyone she was joining school with.

socially my two youngest who went to the school nursery both made great connections, got to know the school and the teachers and it was just better all round really.

however, kids are super resilient and whatever you choose will be great for her 💕

I used to live in South Manchester, it’s a lovely place to have young children once you’re out of the trenches! We would do things like go with friends & a packed lunch to the museums or Dunham Massey etc during the holidays... It will all feel easier soon!

PS does the City Art Gallery still do their amazing pre schoolers art sessions??

We are moving our 3 year old from a private nursery to a state preschool. Her big sister is already at school so that helps, we already have to deal with school holidays. Another thing to consider are that the state preschool will likely use the same learning methods as the rest of the school so that will ease transition. Our eldest learnt one phonics system at her nursery then moved to school where it was a totally different system. No big deal really, but better to start from the same system from the beginning. In the school holidays could you hire a nanny for a few days if needed, to give you a break? Given the savings during the rest of the year this could be a good option. I'm in London and there are various holiday clubs near me for pre-reception children, it's also easier because my youngest will be 4.5 by next summer which seems to help with finding holiday clubs.

I think it's just good to have options. My 3 year old was a summer born too and loved holiday club so don't write it off - but also do your research on other options like childminders or babysitters

@BumBumCream thank you so much! It is lovely to live here and I'm hoping we can start make the most of what we have once out of the trenches as you say. Dunham Massey is defo a good idea! I might be able to get more imaginative with holidays and hopefully when they're both older it will all feel more manageable with two... I hope

@BumBumCream top tip about the city art gallery, I've no idea but I'll defo check it out

I think holiday clubs on top of full time nursery is a lot for a child that young. I would still go for the school nursery option but try and work out strategies in managing both children in the holidays whilst you are on maternity leave. Dh could presumably take a bit of time off work to help? Having 2 is tough, but I sure you can manage. I always found it much easier when we were out of the house to be honest.

I would definitely move her. Sounds like the only issue is the March- September 2025 period, as after September 2025 you will have to worry about school hours anyway.
We moved my then 3 year old when I went on maternity leave and she coped really well, in fact she has really thrived in the new setting. She was doing 3 days a week 9-3.30 the whole time I was on mat leave and I covered the school holidays as I was on leave anyway. Gave her some fun time at nursery and me 1:1 with the baby.
One of the main reasons we did it was to save money.
Some holiday clubs round our way do take 3 year olds as well.