Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Should I send DD to school nursery or keep her private?

69 replies

QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 06:46

Looking for some advice from those who have gone through this already. (Sorry for long post…) DD is currently in an ofsted ‘outstanding’ private nursery a 5 min drive from our house. Has been there since she was 1, full time. She’s now 3. She loves it, has been very happy there, knows everyone and has loads of friends. She’s confident and has really thrived. She’s a June baby.

She has a place at our local primary nursery for Sept 24, which is a 5 minute walk and has an amazing outdoor space attached to a forest. They offer wraparound care on site which we would need, and this is the primary we hope she would end up going to in reception, so long as she gets a place.

I'm currently on mat leave with DS who arrived in March 24. It has been a bit of a roller coaster but DD finally seems to have settled after the initial upheaval of new sibling. My question is around whether this change is going to throw her again so soon after the new sibling? There are 2 people going to the same nursery from her existing nursery but that’s it. What if she regresses / hates it?! I also don’t feel like I can devote 100% of my time to helping her to transition as I’ve got her brother strapped to me 24/7 at the moment and it’s hard. I’ll be doing drop off / pick ups everyday. The main reason for the move though is that it’s so much cheaper than our private nursery which is £1500 a month. The school wraparound is less than £400 a month so a significant saving.

Hubbie thinks she’ll be fine and wants her to be able to enjoy the great outdoor space at the school. But then I’ll be doing most of the admin, and they don’t have a holiday club either - there are some but they’re off site. So that would be another change for her to get used to… if we had the spare money I would defo prefer to keep her at her existing nursery where her brother will also be going to from Feb next year. But I feel conflicted. We could probably just about manage at a push but it would be a stretch financially. Am I making it way more complicated than it needs to be?! And to those who have done it, did your child transition fairly easily from one to another? And what about holiday clubs that were off site - did they hate them? My niece hates hers so my sister has ended up having to take most of the holidays off work to hang out with her…

Thanks to those who have made it this far! And thanks so much in advance for any advice..

OP posts:
Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 07:46

@spriots thank you! Gosh I hadn’t even thought about hiring someone in vs holiday club to help. That is a really good idea

OP posts:
BumBumCream · 14/07/2024 07:49

So you’re still on mat leave for Oct, Christmas and Feb holidays, but want to send her anyway, then go back to work so need holiday care Easter, May half term and summer hols? Are you going back full time?

My kids never used holiday clubs at this age, so I can’t say from experience, but I would think if you know you want holiday care for 6 holidays and she can get that in her present setting & is happy there, it’s probably best to keep her there. You are taking a gamble on her being happy to move settings otherwise. My 3 year olds would have hated it.

Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 07:52

@BumBumCream yes that’s exactly right - I go back to work March 25 full time so would need cover for the rest of the school year. And prior to me going back as I won’t have her at home for the hols with me & baby. I’m just thinking if it all happens next year then I can take time off when she starts reception and be with her 121 and focus on drop off etc.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Childcare & nursery Families Primary education
Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 07:58

@Motherhubbardscupboard thank you for this. I called the local holiday club and they do take pre schoolers patently. Just need to check their setup… and yes I think her existing nursery is quite small with limited outdoor space, so it will be nice for her to have more room to roam

OP posts:
bizzybeing · 14/07/2024 08:01

We were forced to move our DS3 to the school nursery when the nursery he was attending got shut down literally over night 😭. In many ways it was brilliant but the holiday care was a nightmare as lots of holiday clubs won't take kids until after they've started school.

We muddled through with grandparent care and unpaid leave but I would recommend you check whether you'll actually be able to use the holiday club you're looking at.

Otherwise I'd say go for it. DS3 loved it and it made the transition to reception a complete breeze. He had only one friend starting with him at the nursery but quickly had a whole group of new friends and by October half term seemed to have forgotten his best friend from the old nursery (we bumped into them in town and they showed no recollection of each other)

Marchingonagain · 14/07/2024 08:07

BumBumCream · 14/07/2024 07:33

I’m not sure I would move her if you are going to need holiday clubs. I haven’t used them at this age group but would worry that it would be quite unsettling for them being in a different care setting with a different group of kids & carers for a week at a time. So if you want holiday clubs stay at the private nursery.

This. There are barely any holiday clubs for nursery aged children and I think it’s a lot to ask of such tiny children to get used to a new environment each holiday, and what if they hate it. When you compare the fees have you also factored in holiday care? I’d leave her where she is. I agree that the transition to reception would be easier if she came from the school’s nursery but you’d just be swapping one (harder transition) for another. She’ll be able to cope better with the change at reception age

Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 08:10

@Marchingonagain thank you, you’ve just put into words what my concerns have been. We do have holiday clubs round here for pre schoolers but as you say I’m worried about the transition during holiday time. And I have compared fees to include holiday club and it is still significantly cheaper. Unless I just find alternative holiday arrangements for the first year and then start holiday club when she’s older. No idea what the alternative arrangements will be though! Probably me taking time off work to look after her

OP posts:
WibbleWob · 14/07/2024 08:15

Will she get the 30 free hours in September? Have you looked at costs for the holidays? If she’s not guaranteed a place for reception, then it seems like it could cause unnecessary disruption when all the costs are taken into account?

Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 08:30

@WibbleWob thank you. Even with the cost of holiday club included it’s still half the price of her current nursery. For the year where she is now would be £11k full time, for school wraparound + holiday club it will be around £6k

OP posts:
WorriedMama12 · 14/07/2024 08:38

Could you do a split, 2 days at one nursery, 3 at the other? That way, she stays with her old friends and setting but also makes new friends that she'll be going up to school with? I was thinking of doing this for my.little one when the time comes but haven't fully thought it through yet.

Whinge · 14/07/2024 08:38

We do have holiday clubs round here for pre schoolers but as you say I’m worried about the transition during holiday time.

That's really unusual. I don't know of any holiday clubs that will take 3 year olds. Are you sure they take them without parents? Also if you need wrap around during term time will the holiday club hours be enough?

As lovely as school nursery is, the only people I know who have made it work are SAHP or those who rely a lot on grandparents. The hours are short and the lack of holiday care makes it unworkable for anyone else.

Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 08:44

@Whinge thank you. I’m now questioning the holiday club thing but I’m 99% sure. There are two, one smaller at a nearby school but doesn’t cover all holidays. She defo does pre school age although not sure how many of them will go at that age… and then ‘school of play’ is a bigger one at a different nearby primary. I’ll need to call back & check. But if it is that there are hardly any pre schoolers that go anyway then I will be reluctant to send her as don’t want her being unhappy / on her own.

the school wraparound hours that they offer are fine for us - 7.45 in the AM and till 6PM. So that’s not an issue for us

OP posts:
Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 08:48

I’ve just checked on their website and the holiday club can defo take them from 3.5yrs. It’s just whether it might be too much for her to transition to new people / place every holiday in her first year. Which is what I’m worried about… there are other schools in the area where the holiday club is on site which I would much prefer, but they’re not walking distance for us

OP posts:
roses2 · 14/07/2024 08:49

What’s the likelihood she will get into the primary based on current admission criteria? This would impact my decision.

Also why is nursery so expensive, don’t y of get the 30 hours free funding?

WASZPy · 14/07/2024 08:51

If you can find a childminder that has teachers' children, they may have school holiday only vacancies.

Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 08:52

@roses2 thank you. School think we would get a place as birth rates are low and they have had spaces in sept the last few years, and we live close by. And yes the £11k is including 30 hours free! It’s insane, most expensive nursery in the area. We live in south manchester. They stretch the hours across the whole year and the rate drops to just over £1k a month for full time. With tax free childcare that works out at £1k from us per month. Still totally crazy. And my son will be starting in Feb next year with 15hours free but that’s still £1450 per month

OP posts:
Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 08:53

@bizzybeing did you have to use any holiday clubs for his pre school year? And if so were they on site? This is my main worry, that she will have to get used to a new setting for every holiday alongside transitioning to a new nursery

OP posts:
timetobegin · 14/07/2024 08:54

I’d keep her where she is, and if necessary cut down by one day a week (you could ask the IL for help in that day if you need it). That would leave you paying much the same with a settled little person and possibly both at the same place when you go back which is MUCH easier.

Whinge · 14/07/2024 08:55

I’m now questioning the holiday club thing but I’m 99% sure.

I would definitely check, i'm sure there must be some out there that offer it, but it's not something i've ever come across. Most clubs are geared up to cater for school aged children (and some even say 5+ Which means parents with summer born children struggle for holiday care during the first year of reception. Even clubs that accept younger children aren't always full days. So if they do take 3 year olds I would check the opening hours, as lots are 9-3 or 9-12 (some might offer the option of an additional hour either side of this, but they will charge you extra)

the school wraparound hours that they offer are fine for us - 7.45 in the AM and till 6PM. So that’s not an issue for us

I assume that's breakfast club and after school club where they mix with the children from the primary school? Will your DD be comfortable spending so much time around older children, some of which might be up to 7 years older than her?

Original poster
QuestioningEveryLittleThing · 14/07/2024 08:58

@Whinge good point and I will defo check the days for the holiday club. Brekkie club is with the older kids I think but the after school club is separate just for pre schoolers apparently

OP posts:
69pbiryani · 14/07/2024 08:58

With those costs it is a no brainer. And you even have in laws nearby, and are on mat leave. There is no way I would throw family money away when there is a perfectly good option attached to her future school.

Topjoe19 · 14/07/2024 08:59

School nursery for sure, it sounds fantastic. And how you feel now won't be forever, your baby will grow & they'll both interact & the holidays are a nice break for the school child to have a rest & be home for a while. It's hard - but for me, its important that my school kids get some break from school / childcare. Appreciate this isn't possible for everyone & I would certainly not judge anyone else's choice.

wombpaloumbpa · 14/07/2024 09:05

I don't know tbh. Loads of people told me the transition to big school would be easier for my DS if he went to the attached nursery / preschool so we moved him there 18 months before. In the end he didn't have any of his friends in his reception class (it was a 2 form entry) and also he found the transition really hard - the part he found hard was the 5 days a week, doing what he's told all the time instead of free play like nursery.

I suppose there was some familiarity there with the environment and some of the staff.

Given the choice again id have kept him in his first smaller, private nursery.

The thing is all kids have different personalities and abilities so it's hard to compare you have to follow your gut instinct what's best for your child / you / your family.

kerstina · 14/07/2024 09:15

I would move her to the school nursery. My son went to the nursery of a school that was over subscribed I think it helped that he went to the school nursery.

Whinge · 14/07/2024 09:20

kerstina · 14/07/2024 09:15

I would move her to the school nursery. My son went to the nursery of a school that was over subscribed I think it helped that he went to the school nursery.

School applications are separate from the nursery (even if they share a site) Going to the school nursery doesn't matter when it comes to spplying for a school place, as it's not part of the admissions criteria.