Should I give them their own room

[Shitmum2024]

Ds asked for his own room a few months back I said no incase adult ds came back home . But actually he's been left home for 18 months now. So I think maybe I Need to tell myself adult ds is settled.

So now I'm thinking maybe I should let him . It seems silly to have an empty room.

Wait- you have children sharing a room whilst there's an empty room?! Surely not? The message of "the eldest matters most" would be far to clear for my taste. Making the youngest share whilst there's an empty room "owned" by the eldest is very poor imo.

Bloody hell yes! Give your DS his own room if one is available, you've waited 18 months to even think about it! 6 months would have been enough, poor kid.

Yes I would let him have the room it’s been over a year.

I don't think its poor. I didn't want to risk giving younger ds their owm room incase adult ds came back. He's still my child even as an adult. But I think maybe I left it longer than I should have done.

Jeezo. You had to ask?

How old is adult DS? Where is he living now? What are the chances of him returning?

But WHY does the adult deserve his room reserved more than ds deserves his own room? Whilst they all in residence it's a standard "first come first served" situation. No favourites here, it's just the way the cookie crumbles. After the eldest leaves it should then be each his own room and the eldest on the sofa when he's back. Obviously that's just my opinion. But IMO it's the only fair way to allocate space in a shared home.

If he needs to come back you re-jig then to accommodate it.

I remember packing my stuff up so one of the others could have it when I was going travelling for 3 months. He surely doesn't expect it to be kept empty?

What keep golden one son's room empty for him forever just in case?! How nice for your other sons!

No its a me thing because I worry.. but maybe I Need to stop now. Your right I can gig things about

No need for the digs

18 months!!!!!!! Yes give your son his own room for goodness sake. When you're an adult and leave home, you don't expect your room to be kept for you "just in case".

Seriously???

How long were you planning on preserving golden boys shrine?

Yes, give your younger DS his own room. Just make clear that if older DS does come to visit then obviously someone will have to share again briefly.

It is doable.

I’m the oldest and was packing my bags to start uni the following morning when my brother put his stuff in my room. Completely fair enough.

Yes I will do that. I know ds would be ok with that . To be fair they get in each other's bed so they might not even stick to lt.

Ha! Mine has been and I am nearly 58. I haven't lived with my parents since I was 18. When I do visit I am given that room to sleep in again. 🤣🤣

Same for my younger sister (also in her fifties and hasn't lived there for decades). We didn't share a room when growing up though.

I guess my parents were just creatures of habit and liked it that way.

The day me eldest moved out one of my 2 that was sharing a room started moving their stuff into her room 🤣🤣

7 years

Wtf 🤣🤣🤣 this is insane it can't be real

My DB was away for years but I was left in the tiny box room. Probably golden boy.

Mine never asked until a few months ago . I said no at the time. Ds has not mentioned it since. So I don't think they are overly bothered . But it came into my head again. Was thinking maybe I should do it for them.

Lol when I moved out my brother was in my room 2 weeks later

I have seen posters saying their children share. Because they want to have have a guest room . Yet I post about giving my ds his own room and get digs