I wanted to update on the “shall I dump him by text post”

[ForOliveShaker]

I did it!!!!! I posted about whether I should or shouldn’t. I contemplated it and went back and fourth. He cancelled on me 12 times and I was always so patient and kind. He pushed me so much for sex and always said “the chemistry is so there” “we need to sort it soon” “it needs to be something we try”. In the end I went with

“Hi this isn’t working. We’re looking for different things. All the best!”
Him: “hey I understand sorry it didn’t work out, all the same to you”

But this just didn’t sit right with me. My peace didn’t feel protected. So after his reply I said

“Tbh it’s you. You’re so flakey, probably married or with someone and pushed too hard for sex. You’re the problem”
I then said “oh and the sex was absolutely awful, and you desperately begged for it. You’re fucking pathetic. Now I’m done. Good riddance”

Guys. I know I was stupid for doing it. And no of course he didn’t reply. But god it felt good. Yes I’m a pretty pathetic excuse of a woman for doing it too.

But he’s probably not going to take on board what you said. It’s not a committed relationship where he wants to go to couples counselling to make the relationship stronger or anything like that.

Be careful that in your eagerness to ‘tell him’ you simply end up meditating on him, and all your thoughts are focussed on him whether you are together or not.

Like the story of the monk who carried the woman over the river.

And I’ve shown him nothing but kindness and fairness to all of his bs excuses.

You’re not getting it. Acting compliant on the outside while building up a seething head of rage on the inside isn’t being “kind and fair”, it’s just having poor boundaries. And it’s resulted in you ditching your dignity with a nasty, ugly message before doing a cowardly block-and-run so you don’t have to see his response
to your behaviour.

Don’t want to see his response. But thank you.

Don’t want to see his response. But thank you.

Of course you don't. Because he might drop his own "truth bomb" on you, like saying "Wow, you really are a nasty piece of work, and a pretty dud root yourself, but I'm seeing someone else hotter so not really bothered what you think" Or something equally unpleasant and unnecessary that would make you feel horrible, just like what you sent.

Classic "can dish it out, but can't take it" behaviour.

I’d take it, happily. Because men like him can’t sustain anything anyway. He proudly admitted he was in 2 relationships that only lasted 10 months and the other a year. It’s obvious he is the issue. Also. I meant nothing to him so why would he waste his breath biting back??

It’s obvious he is the issue.

Hmmm, okay.