Not scaring people help needed.

[Mysterian]

I'm a stealthy kind of person. Never smoked and no lung conditions so my breathing is pretty much silent. I move elegantly across the planet like a mountain goat, again, making no sound. I'm also no Nick Knowles: I'm a bit on the shy side and rarely dramatically burst into a room causing a loud kerfuffle. All this means I often enter a place already occupied by a fellow human who has no idea I'm there. Then it's only a matter of time before they realise and scream. It happens a lot.
What can I do when I'm in the room? Quickly saying "don't scream" seems like exactly the wrong thing to say.

A discreet parp will alert people to your presence 😖

I am in a brass band and can confirm that we would be more than happy to take on this job.

Entrance music, like boxers use. A blast of Simply the Best or Eye of the Tiger should work.

Flip flops?
Roller skates?

DH suggests a squeaker in your shoe.

@Mysterian try saying hello!

A flash of lightning and a thunderclap.

The Jaws theme tune.

Call them a week before you plan to approach them and whisper “seven days” down the phone. Bonus points if you climb out of the TV when the fated day arrives.

Flip the breaker switch and hunt your prey in the dark.

Oh my god, I get told this every day!

Develop BO?

This is my problem exactly. I don't know why. I make people scream. They turn around and I'm there. It's become a joke at work - they want me to buy noisy shoes!
Now I try to make a noise on approach, but it's hard!

Oh god this is me. I slink about my house, scaring the cat by 'suddenly' appearing in the room she's in.

At work I try and be a bit more 'stompy'.

Can I hire you? My family and colleagues would pay.

Noisy trousers? Maybe some corduroy.

Eat beans, lots of beans

Wear squeaky shoes?

one of my DDs used to do this - glide silently into the room and make me jump out of my skin!

Like Chloe & Radcliffe in "The League of Gentlemen" 😂

Hire a footman to grandly open the door of all rooms you enter, while announcing your presence, à la Bridgerton or similar period romance.

No one has suggested a butler? They could announce your presence wherever you went

Or a town crier if the butler’s polite tone doesn’t do the trick?

Have you thought of walking in and saying "hello"? It's a one in a million chances, but it just might work?

If you can cope with that, maybe work up to:

• Hello - don't mind me, I'm just doing something
• Hello Steve, how are you?
• Hello, I don't think we've met, let me introduce myself

Lots of metal bangles on each arm and walk in like Carmen Miranda...

I used to do this to a chef I worked with, even wearing flip flops I'd make him jump. One day he hid to scare me, but I apparently was so quiet that when he peeked out to see if I was coming I was right there and he screamed! 🤣

My husband’s peripheral vision is so bad I’ve sometimes wondered if he should see a doctor about it. There have been many, many times I’ve stood next to him for several minutes before he has realised I’m there and jumped out of his skin. The novelty wears off eventually so I usually say something when I enter the room now.

Love it! 😂!
I've taken to knocking on doors at work, because I can't stand the screaming. People say , "no need to knock, Empress" then they work with me and realise why.

A quick blast of Hail To The Chief as you enter the room should do it.