Leave me alone

[Againandagain33]

Ds is 17. I always dread him waking up. Because he's always in my face about something he constantly stresses me out. He's always acusing people of taking stuff from his room. He thinks someone went in his room and took his poxy vape whilst he was sleeping. No one has taken his vape . He bangs on and on accusing his sister of taking it.. she has not . He won't leave it . He's aggressive in his tone . And you know what . If a game controller gos walk about, it's In his room , if a charger vanishes.. its in his room ... and so on.

Then generally I get, mum tell her to stop looking at me, tell her not to bang, tell her to turn her music down. Then he just constantly nags .

He constantly talks at me.

I was doing some house work i had a good sort of feeling positive vibe within myself as soon as he's up that's ot it's gone . Now I don't want to do fuck all I feel deflated .

This is not actually about the vape
Yes there's a massive back story.

Yes i am ranting

Ignore him. If he is being aggressive then take privileges (like his game controller) away. You’re enabling this behaviour

Is he off to uni soon?
If not can he get a job and go and live in a house share?
I bet he could be civil to other people. If he can't be civil to you he should look for his own place.

I can't do that ..it would make it worse. there's a massive back story . Which I'm not going into.

I just needed to rant

It sounds kind of miserable for your daughter.

No ...

He's on a list to move into supported living . I'm not sure how long the wait is.

Is he taking drugs?

So I take it he can't go out and get a job?

It is.. pisses everyone off. She didn't say much so I don't think he overly bugged her.

Is there his dad ir any family members that can have him for a night or two per week so you and DD get some respite?

If he's on a list for supported living there's obviously a back story. He sounds paranoid OP, is he smoking weed? Could he be on other drugs? Aggression, paranoia, getting in your face, talking at you all sound like he's on something or unmedicated.

Why is his stuff going missing? Keep people out of his room if they're taking his stuff. I won't say anything about him having a vape at 17.

He's not on any form of drugs /weed . There's are mental health issues.

Yes I said in my op there's a big back story .

No one is taking his stuff or going in his room . It's actually him that's always taking people's stuff..

That sounds absolutely exhausting OP. My dS 16 has a touch of this, nothing is ever his fault and he tries to blame me when he misplaces things. To give an example from this week, Dd had a sweet bag she got as a gift, she wrote her name on it and a 'Do not touch' note and he finished it off and left the empty packet. He was totally unapologetic and blamed her for not hiding it properly. So I understand, thankfully he does his own thing most of the time, sounds like your DS is much more difficult. Rant away here if it lightens the load for you.

Yes that's what it's like with ds. It's him that does this shit that he accuses others of doing.

No there's not.

Whats in the vape?

MH issues are often combined with the patient self medicating or the MH issues are contributed to by use of drugs.

Is he on medication for the MH issues?

When you say supported living do you mean before he is 18 or after? Have you asked for him to become accommodated and you're waiting for a placement?

OP is clear his stuff isnt going missing, he just thinks it is, or at least is accusing people of it going missing. He sounds paranoid, either MH, drugs or a combination of both

There's nothing in the vape normal vape stuff what ever that is .

Not everything = drugs when a teen is an arse .

No meds

Before 18. And no I have not asked for him to be placed there. He's done it himself

No not everything is about drugs, but lots of kids with MH issues and this type of presentation are self medicating, it serves one purpose but then can be counterproductive and they struggle to see this

Well, he may be waiting a while, because he if he has signed S20 consent to come into care or asking the housing department for accommodation (and doesnt want to be a child in care) then his attitude and behaviour will put providers and hosts off, they want young people they can work with and need to be able to match well with other young people already in the placement, who will have their own vulnerabilities.

I really feel for you and your family. It sounds really tough.

I know you say there's nowhere for your son to go for the weekend - how about your daughter? It sounds as though she could do with a break.

What would happen if you took your daughter away for a couple of days? Can your son be left alone in the house?

My youngest as ADHD, it's hard a lot of the time. She is maturing SLOWLY so so so slowly.

I am now so triggered when she is being unreasonable from all her horrid past behaviour.

Thankfully I have DH to support me and keep me sane.

There's a list ... he's 2nd on the list so should not be to much longer.

No there's no where. She's OK. He's left her alone. She's in her room . And he's in the living room bugging me. So he's not near her.

Have you tried putting ear buds in and listening to music/podcast to drown out the worst of it?

💐. Hope your OK. Its good you have some support . My son does not have ADHD. But definitely sounds like hard work for you .

Lets hope he can sustain the placement then because most providers we work with would not tolerate that behaviour and he would be given notice.

Im sure all this has been told to him countless times anyway but he may have to learn the hard way.