When will I flipping learn?

[1questionfromme]

Please come someone come along and tell me that they have been similarly dim as me? Just to make me feel better.

So today we had our annual 'your opinion counts' feedback at work - basically the staff survey results for our department.

Boss went through them and said that he was concerned about one or two results and if there was anything we wanted to share re: the reasons for the results to either say so publicly or contact him afterwards to discuss, just to get some context on some of the answers.

Like an absolute idiot, I took him to one side afterwards to explain some of the things I said on the survey. Why oh why don't I ever learn not to do this sort of thing? They don't want to hear, they just want an easy life. I was shut down no uncertain terms re: the feedback I gave which was basically there is resentment in the department re: the division of work and one person being lazy. This is backed up by performance stats. But, no, I am wrong. It's not true. The stats lie.

I can't believe that after 20 years working for corporate nightmares I haven't learned that the way to go about things is to just put up and shut up. What a fool. Please say I'm not the only one?

Anyone?

Oh that's so shit 😞
You weren't stupid
You were just expecting them to do what they should be doing!

This is me. I am slowly learning, but it’s so hard. Next time you feel compelled to be honest and do what they ask, think of this and remember that they don’t really want to know.

Thanks. I've been dwelling on it and it helps to hear that people understand.

I took it much, much further than you. Became a union rep and now work for a union full-time. So I definitely haven't learned to keep my gob shut.

@Sapphire387 wow thats great. Well done. Not sure I'd have that in me but that's a really good

At least you have something to add to the feedback next time now too.

I took the same route as @Sapphire387 and became a union rep. We had a meeting about some big changes that were coming, I collated all the opinions, and presented it when the grande fromage arrived.

He looked around the room and asked who else thought this way, and not a single one of them spoke up. I'll never do that again. Spineless bastards.

It seems the way to get things to change is not to use the methods given to you but to deal with yourself these days.

Sounds like your manager, instead of taking you aside and listening to you, or creating a culture where you feel safe to approach him about a co worker, doesn't want his feedback to look bad at his next review. So has minimised your concerns. It's just poor leadership.

I feel for you OP. I'm the same, except it's often my job to gather the feedback!

I think often the higher ups want the 'engagement' box ticked without having to deal with the muck and bullets of any consequences I.e acknowledging that there is a problem and actually dealing with it.

I'm struggling so badly with this at the moment that it's getting in the way of me doing my job well and I'm questioning my career and life choices.

Thank you OP for sharing, you're definitely not alone!

I do this. I just say everything is fine. Every time. I work on short term contracts and people who explain what's wrong don't get rehired.

Wow, I do feel better that I'm not the only person dealing with this but I'm shocked how rubbish it seems like a lot of workplaces are. Seems like there's little point in being the person who tries to improve or feedback. Better to be the one who puts up and shuts up. Which is depressing. Thanks for sharing.

Definitely not the only one. I spoke up in a meeting yesterday and now just feel like an idiot as we all know the situation but management don't want to know so all I did was express discontent which doesn't help anyone.

I'm in my 50s as well, apparently I'll never learn.

I’m glad I’m retired, because every time, I used to fall into the yawning gap opened by the question, “Tell me honestly”.

Same OP, Same.

I used to lead on this stuff years ago, but for SM's who really cared, now the ones I work with don't.

I don't speak up as much as I used to but sometimes I'll say something and wonder why I bother

These surveys used to annoy the hell out of me. We were pressured to do them then we were presented the results which used to ignore anything negative.
One year the team I was in had particularly low scores, a more senior manager than ours had productive meetings with us, it felt like someone was listening to us. She then fed back to the heads who more or less described us "moaning minnies".
Waste of time if you won't actually take the feedback on board. So glad to be off thay corporate hamster wheel.

Thanks so much to everyone who has replied. I feel better that it's not just me but honestly it's enraging and depressing that people are just routinely ignored. I suppose it will at least encourage and remind me to not bother again. I've written a post-it note and stuck it on my monitor saying 'don't say it' (home office!)

I'm sorry to come back on here and bring this back up again but I'm really struggling and I'm feeling like my manager is getting at me because of this now. It's various small things that are adding up to feeling as though I'm being punished for saying something. Things like being asked to do unpleasant jobs that nobody likes; having leave requests denied because too many people are off already, but other people being given the same date off when they asked; not being called in for an end of year review when everyone else has been. Has anybody got any advice please? Should I go and try to clear the air with the manager. Work is horrible at the moment.

Join a union

Write it all down.
Get as much evidence as you can

Then get someone to look at it.

Could be victimisation but very difficult to prove. Usually they'll brush it off in a 'sorry you see it that way' kind of thing.

So get writing things down and get solid evidence before you confront the issue.

Is it possibly to do with this one person that you've highlighted? Are they protected, favoured or liked in some way?

People like you are important. I have spent alot of time in hospital and I have been so thankful for the ones who called out their colleagues' shit and incompetence that made things really unpleasant for us.

Try working in the public sector. All suggestions and opinions are shut down and stamped on

This is why I never complete the 'anonymous' staff survey at my school. Waste of time, they don't want to know and I've been shut down more times than I can even recall. No way are they anonymous either.

The surveys can’t be “anonymous” if they’re sent to your work email. That’s the joke of it. Management don’t want your opinions. It’s just a box ticking exercise

I worked for the civil service for many years, we had this every year. After having my hopes raised that someone would listen to what everyone was saying and every year being disappointed as we were ignored. I then refused to complete it at all, management don't like that - they want everyone to engage. My little protest 👿

Oh that is rubbish OP. Agree with noting things down, in case it does get formal at any stage.

Generally I'd try to be as cheerful as possible with your manager to try to turn things around. Just do the crap jobs willingly for a bit. It's usually easier than winning a battle.