Tell me about your August babies starting school

[ScrappyAndHungry]

Hello

I have a daughter age almost 3. She will start school next September having just turned 4. A few of the nursery mums have asked me if I'm planning to defer her into the year below as apparently being the oldest in the year has better outcomes than being one of the youngest.

But honestly this just hasn't occurred to me. She loves to learn and having had a look at the early years curriculum at the school I'm hoping she will go to, it looks like stuff she will absolutely love. Surely it can't be in her best interests to do 3 whole years of early years? She also always seems drawn to older children to play with.

Obviously I know things can change but I just wondered if deferring her is something I should strongly consider in the absence of any reason?

Would love to hear how your August babies got on starting school.

No.

Ignore people on Mumsnet, they always have very clever kids, who are tall, slim and sporty.

The range going into nursery will range from not knowing a single letter/number, to someone who can already read "the afternoon's shenanigans were hilarious" and be able to do algebra and be a competitive gymnast already.

The most important thing they can know is their name, getting themselves dressed and undressed, toilet trained and be able to follow instructions etc

Practical skills and being able to be part of a group with a common goal and expected behaviours basically!

I don't think being able to ride a bike without stabilisers at 3 is in any way indicative of having some sort of academic advantage in school?

Otherwise my daughter should be a fucking genius as she could ride a bike at around 2.5 years 😂

Our boy will be 5 in August and he started school last September.

He's very confident and sociable and has not struggled on that front.

But he is a little behind on his phonics and numbers I think. The teachers have said he won’t make the reception benchmarks. And he struggles to concentrate.

I have and do still anguish over whether we should have held him back a year. But I have also felt he’d have gone nuts repeating preschool. And I hope he’ll catch up in time. It’s a tough one.

My 3rd child is a mid August baby she turned 4 three weeks before starting reception, i could see a difference in her behaviour compared to the older kids,
what annoys me is that no exception is made for summer born who in theory are almost a year younger than the oldest in the year.
Its sad that school seems to go for a one size fits all approach and that if you defer they miss reception unless you are prepared for a battle !
I did what i thought was best for my child and if that was a day at home thats what we did, they have only been in the world for 4 years ! and its a bloody long day at that age to be away from home.
Looking back i wonder if i did wrong by sending her so early ,she never struggled with work or socially but she has never been a fan of school.

I guess the emotions informing decision making are quite different if you've been a full time mum/dad because there's no sense of them getting bored or not developing from three or more years in a nursery.

We didn't differ, I haven't regretted that decision till now. She'll be going into year 5 is September but we are having some issues with behaviour at home (starting to wonder if she may be ASD) and I do wonder if the added stress at school might be making things worse. Maybe if we'd held her back it might be a bit less pressure on her. She's actually doing well at school but think she is probably masking. In hindsight I wish we'd kept her back a year. We had no inclination of any of this at nursery age. Is there any family history of ASD ADHD etc. if there is, even if you have no indication, I might be minded to differ a year

I didn’t say it was an academic advantage? School isn’t only about academics (obviously).

The gross motor skills of an autumn born child are likely to be better than those of a summer born child. That has an impact on sports at school, among other things.

These threads do always seem to make out that reception children are solely made up of September / October born children and July / August though. There will be many in between!

From an early years teacher (Reception and nursery). I wish all children could have longer in the early years curriculum, but alas it is not to be.
ive taught summer babies who are absolutely fine and I’ve taught summer babies who really needed an extra year. This year I have a little girl who was retained for a year. If she’d done into Reception last year as she should she would have really struggled, instead, this year she is flying. It’s all dependent on the child.

This is entirely dependant on the LA. I’m a reception teacher and I have a child in my class now who was deferred last year. She’s going reception and will stay with this group until she leaves school.

Mine was bright but just not emotionally ready for school. I ended up getting her to redo year 9 - it would have been so much better to have deferred at the start and spent time with her getting her maths and reading to an advance level at such an early stage.

Just don't send a child who is barely 4 to school.

This is very true. I wonder if the Sep 24 cohort will skew young due to the pandemic.

Rather than anecdotal information (which is hard because none of us know what would have happened if we’d made a different decision), why not look at statistics (below). The gap between the oldest in the year and the youngest narrows as they get older but it never goes away.

i chose to start my (very late) August born at compulsory school age at just turned 5, not just turned 4. No regrets. I personally think all children start school too early! I’d favour a more European approach where learning is play based until about 7.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7b29e5ed915d3ed9062971/DFE-RR017.pdf

A proportion of children who receive extra help from Special Ed teachers at school do so simply because they are too young for their class. As a result they're behind in subjects like Maths and English and need the extra support.

I'm in Ireland and the above is the case even though children start later here.

Not all younger children are at a disadvantage, it depends on the child, but as a group the younger children are at a disadvantage compared to the older group. Why do you think the government allows deferral? They know from studies that this is true so they allow more choice for the younger group.

DS was one of the youngest in his class, but he started school before parents could choose to defer for a year. He's clever, but relatively quiet and not sporty. I think starting school a year later would probably have been beneficial for him, but he'd still have had the same personality, so I'm not sure how big the effect would have been.

I think, at least in England, you have the right to defer now, and that means going into reception a year later. There's a good FB group called School for summerborns / similar.

I chose to defer as 4 was just too tiny for school, mine was still in a pushchair. Her dad and I both struggled in teen years as the youngest in school. We were lucky that she had an excellent nursery who kept up with her. She’s just had a glowing report from reception as a real role model and is very ready for year one.

Am sure your daughter will be fine if you believe she’s ready etc… there’s a very good group on Facebook about summer born deferrals too

Thanks so much everyone for the honest comments, it's given me so much to think about. I will check out that Facebook page as well.

The other thing that bothers me is although her pre school is lovely, it's very small. The school I'd like her to go to has so many facilities and a huge amount of outdoor play space, woodland etc and I love their ethos of inspiring curiosity, getting out into nature etc. I could just imagine her being much happier there is a years time than stuck between the small walls of her pre school for another year.

I feel like I'd prefer her to do reception twice if it comes to it than pre school! Is that even possible?

My DD started school two weeks after her fourth birthday and is now in year 4. She’s been absolutely fine, and is doing well academically. To be honest you don’t notice after a year or so which kids are old for the year and which are young.

@ScrappyAndHungry does the primary school you want her to go to have a preschool attached to it?

My autumn born DD will be moving to the preschool that is part of DC1’s school in September for the academic year before she starts school, having been in her current nursery since she was 1. It is a great transition to school - on the school site, she will wear the uniform, they introduce some basic phonics etc - but it’s preschool not reception so still mostly play.

My friend’s summer born son has deferred and will be going to the preschool
with my DD rather than into reception.

Dd1 is a July birthday and is now at university. To give a long term view, she spent quite a lot of afternoons in Reception fast asleep. She (and most of the other summer borns) were in all the bottom sets until year 2. She sort of caught up in years 3/4 and was doing very well academically by the end of year 6. This continued throughout secondary and uni. Socially, her friends tended to also be the younger kids in early primary. This changed as she got older. Teachers lower down the primary school tended to be very aware of who the younger kids were, but this was not the case further up. I'm still annoyed by the year 5 teacher who told me DD was very immature. I had to point out this was probably because she was the youngest in the year and compared to the oldest kids in the year below, she wasn't remotely immature.

My late august child started school 3 years ago now but it was honestly 100% the right decision to send him. He has come on leaps and bounds. He was slightly slower than the September borns to pick up reading at first but the teachers and we didn’t see a huge difference all it’s a scale some were 11.5 months older some were a few weeks it wasn’t like the whole class were September borns apart from him. By the end of reception was exactly where he should be and now you wouldn’t really be able to tell. You as a parent will know if they are ready. Nursery reassured us and he was already used to long days at nursery.

The thing I sometimes think about my summerborn DS is that he'll also hit exams etc. nearly a year younger than some of his classmates. Will he be mature / organised enough to study etc., and to deal with the pressure?

Much more difficult. Reception twice is entirely the head teachers decision, and it relies on there actually being a place in the reception class again the year after, which there won't be if the school is oversubscribed. Also it means they will be older and more aware of all their peers moving on to the next year whilst they are 'left behind' so more potential for issues to crop out arising out of that.