Tell me about your August babies starting school

[ScrappyAndHungry]

Hello

I have a daughter age almost 3. She will start school next September having just turned 4. A few of the nursery mums have asked me if I'm planning to defer her into the year below as apparently being the oldest in the year has better outcomes than being one of the youngest.

But honestly this just hasn't occurred to me. She loves to learn and having had a look at the early years curriculum at the school I'm hoping she will go to, it looks like stuff she will absolutely love. Surely it can't be in her best interests to do 3 whole years of early years? She also always seems drawn to older children to play with.

Obviously I know things can change but I just wondered if deferring her is something I should strongly consider in the absence of any reason?

Would love to hear how your August babies got on starting school.

Thank you for all the comments. I do think it's worth exploring and something I will speak to her preschool about (her pre school is part of a private nursery)

I had a few summer born friends at school as well as one September friend and I just don't remember it being an issue but obviously I was just a child myself.

Her preschool days are 8.5 hours long and she never seems even remotely tired when I pick her up - the opposite in fact she mostly asks to go to the park! She also doesn't sleep during the day and hasn't for almost a year. She's also Toilet trained, her speech is brilliant and we have proper conversations with her.

I would guess that her gross motor skills would be quite far behind a child born the previous September, as she was quite late to crawl and walk and has never been much of a mover, prefers to sit and read/colour etc. So perhaps that's something to consider too. I wouldn't want her to forever assume she was 'rubbish' at sports because she was a little behind in reception.

She isn't interested in numbers or letters at all, can recognize her first name initial and sort of play ispy but that's it. Nowhere near writing but can colour very neatly. But then would she need to know that before she starts??

Argh.

My late July baby (August due date) will start school this September and she will have just turned 5.

I’m happy with my decision, over the last year she has grown in confidence, is happily writing her name, trying to write words and reading VERY simple words but more importantly she is so much more confident. She is in a similar place to my Spring baby when she started school at 4.

I know her school aims to get them
writing sentences with support by the end of reception. There is no way she is ready for that now but will be by the end of reception. She is ready for school now.

I didn’t want every year to be a struggle where she was doing OK for a summer born. I want her to thrive.

Reception is basically like nursery learning through play, very nurturing etc

DD was the youngest in her year (66 pupils).

She was absolutely fine. She was actually bored in class as she wasn't learning anything initially. Wasn't tired and was disappointed on leaving school when she realised she wasn't seeing her existing friends, going to park/other. She found the playground a bit overwhelming and would sit on the bench, but she soon had another girl joining her - apparently she was very chatty in class though. We had one toilet accident in the first year, but that was due to the fact they were in fancy dress and she couldn't get out of her outfit quick enough. She was in top working groups (sets) throughout primary school - funnily enough 5/7 in her working groups were born in later half of year. She was slow at eating her lunch compared to others, but I now realise that was a tactic not to go out in the cold!

Fast forward to 22, she fought to get herself a scholarship at 16, went to a top uni, has her degree, job, lots of friends, a lovely boyfriend - being the youngest hasn't held her back at all.

If you have any particular concerns about your DD, ask to have a chat with the school. They are used to children coming in at different levels with different needs/levels/personalities.

DD is late August born. Totally nailed reception despite having 4 teachers. Most of her primary friends were September born and high school friends mainly the year above although she has friends throughout school. Transitioned easily in to y1. Top sets throughout. Predicted 7s-9s in her gcses.

DS is October born. He was more than ready to start - he asked preschool to teach him to read and was a free reader in y1. However sitting and learning and writing have remained issues even into high school.

You know your child. You will make the decision on the best information you have right now and that will be the right decision for her. It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks.

My late July born DS started at 4 and a few weeks and is now coming to the end of Y1. I considered deferring him, took nursery’s advice and decided not to and now I think that was the right decision.

He’s pretty tall for his age (one of the tallest in his class) and looks like a giant compared to the year below. He is sporty and already plays football with a Y2 team which he loves and gives him a lot of confidence, but wouldn’t have been possible if he had been deferred. Academically he is meeting expectations in all areas, is on the top table for maths and middle for English - for him I think this is really good as he is much younger than the “average” Y1 child. He does struggle with writing, but then so did his older brother who is December born! He also found the first term of Reception very tiring and often had a nap at weekends. However, now he does a full run of after school activities and is absolutely fine.

Reception is very much “nursery plus” and absolutely fine for most (NT) just four year olds whose parents are engaged enough to post on MN worrying about whether they should defer. There is a step up from Reception to Y1, but although DS found it hard at first (“too much sitting”!) he was fine after a few weeks.

Our LA won't let you "hold back"
.. they basically skip Reception and join Year 1 at just turned 5. And Y1 is much more formal than R.

Early August baby. Looked so small starting reception. Had a few extra lessons at a little club set up during school time. Wasn’t in that for long. Never had any other problems. Got a degree now and works at a large corporation in the City

DD has very late August birthday. She was definitely ready to start school at just turned 4 and was always academically very capable.

The issue we had with her was that when it came to GCSEs she was still emotionally quite immature and struggled with discipline of revision.

DS who has a November birthday was much more mature in his approach to GCSEs and in spite of being less academically able I am expecting his results this year to be better than DDs.

You've still got a year, your dc will change so much in that time.

My dd is an August baby (starting school in a couple of months) and I think she's really ready. But a year ago I'd never have imagined it, she could barely put her own socks on let alone shoes. She couldn't write any letters. She was very stand-off-ish with her peers. She'd never respond to an unfamiliar adult (eg a shopkeeper saying hello, etc).

But just one year later and she's changed so much. She's more communicative and can make a sort of small talk with unfamiliar adults. She's much more independent with dressing, going to the toilet etc. Really amazing how different she is compared to this time last year. She's still a bit young compared to her classmates but the teachers think she's going to be absolutely fine

If I were you I'd do your research on this - ie look at the studies done on the subject - not just talk to individuals.
I have read some of the work done in the area and personally I would choose to defer.

I have two August born grandchildren, cousins not siblings, who started school at just turned 4. In terms of social development both were more than ready but their academic progress has been a different story. Both of them have struggled compared to their siblings and their parents (DS and DD) wish they had deferred their entry.

Our daughter was like yours, OP. She was chomping at the bit to go to school, despite only turning 4 ten days before starting. She's been top of the pack since the start (a slower start in reading than her September sister though) and teachers and other parents were always amazed she was the youngest by several weeks.
Some children definitely aren't ready but many are, and it sounds like yours is, so go for it.

DS is a late august baby who started a few days after he turned 4. He is year 1 now and is still the smallest in the class but has been in the highest reading group since before Christmas, loves learning and has loads of friends.

Mine is a late August who went at 4, the two main struggles were (and to some extent still are) fine motor skills and stamina - reception used to let her have a nap at story time!
Now finishing yr4, I’d say she still finds the school day more tiring than her older peers but it’s a small difference and doesn’t seem detrimental. Her handwriting is still awful (fine motor skills) but is improving - DH has terrible handwriting though so maybe it’s hereditary!
No regrets in sending her, she was actually due to be a 1st September baby but came early! She’s also the tallest in her year despite being the youngest, if we’d have kept her back she’d look like a giant next to the rest of the class!

Yes it is, and then there is quite a big jump to year 1 with much higher expectations.

In my experience girls do tend to be more mature socially and have better fine motor skills than boys of the same age, so I’d be slightly less worried about a summer born girl than a summer born boy.

Youve got time to think about it OP.

My DD is 4 in November so will also be starting school next year too. She can already write her name and other simple words (cat, dog etc) and is reading simple books. She can ride a bike without stabilisers. I think she is going to have a massive advantage compared to my DS starting. I think if I had a summer born child I’d think seriously about giving them that advantage.

A blanket 'no' rule to all requests is illegal, so this is not likely to be the case. The law is very clear on this that a child can only be made to skip reception and placed in year one where it is in the child's best interests, which clearly isn't very often given that all school attendance is supposedly so important that it's also illegal to miss a few days of reception for a holiday.

Just to add about expectations - both my DC (the winter baby and the summer baby) entered Reception able to recognise but not write their own name and unable to read at all (but could recognise some letters). They both did really well with the phonics reading scheme and made excellent progress quickly. My DC1 is now at greater depth in all areas and a voracious reader. Please don’t worry if your child can’t do these things before they start - they will learn them at school! It’s more important to ensure they can get changed by themselves, take themselves to the loo, use cutlery to eat lunch etc. in terms of school prep.

My sister is a late August birthday, and mum said she seemed so small and maybe took a term or so to really find her feet. But that could be down to personalities as much as age. She thrived, always had nice friends, smashed the academic competition and is now extremely senior and successful at work. My dc1 is also a summer birthday and has been absolutely fine and is also an academic high flyer. I really don't think age matters beyond the first few weeks op. x

I would be more inclined to keep an august boy back a year. Girls tend to be fine.

DS1 (31st Aug) was so ready to go it would've been unfair to keep him in preschool, he was frustrated doing "baby things". He's currently in year 8, academically bright but struggled socially as he's quirky but seems to have found his tribe now. He did find the first term tiring but coped better than some of the older kids in his class including a child deferred from the previous year. It depends on the child and unless SEN I don't think it's really necessary, somebody has to be the youngest.

I look at my summer born ds now in y6 and when I see him standing among the y5s I just think, you would never have fitted there. He’s tall for a y6, physically strong and always has been, and started school able to read and do simple maths - he taught himself, as did his older sister, not pushed by me. He moved schools during y5 and the parents I’ve chatted with, on realising he was a summer birthday, asked if I’d kept him down from the year above as he sticks out so much even in the ‘correct’ year!
Emotionally he can be a bit immature but I believe that is all y6 boys, especially compared to the girls. He’s never stood out as struggling in any aspect.
I’m anticipating fun when he is the last of his friends to learn to drive or go out for their 18th birthdays, but that’s just how it is.
You know your child. I would suggest academics are not the thing to consider, it’s the emotional side of things. Girls probably do manage better on the whole. But it’s not a definite one way or the other for me.
You also need to consider if you can afford to defer, it’s not an option for many.

My summer born DS did seem very small when he started, struggled a bit in reception but caught up in year 1 and went on to pass the 11+ and is now thriving in grammar school.

I deferred DD who will be starting Year 6 in September and it's still by far the best decision I ever made. Although she was due on 14th September and born prematurely so technically she is in the class that she would have been in if born at full term anyway

Oh god that seems crazy advanced to me! Is this normal for almost 4 year olds? She doesn't seem anywhere near able to read or write.