Feeling lost - DC are teens and don’t want me

[Ladywinesalot]

I’m mid 40’s and feeling a little lost.
my DC are teens and don’t need me apart from cooking/cleaning and being taxi service.

Im coming back from work with not much to do and feeling empty.

I go to the gym before work and I don’t want to do lots of drinking socials.

what’s everyone else do with their time?

Definitely this!

These lists of hobbies are exhausting!!

OP I'm in the same situation but I work flat out running a business with staff, but 100% banking a ton of fab social ideas.

I'm not sure where I'd fit it all in!! But it's giving me a kick up the bum to expand from"work" to me.

Wise words.

There's a great book called The Middle Passage about finding meaning in the second half of life. It’s framed around the idea of the midlife crisis but (as the book acknowledges) this is often different for women than men due to women generally being socialised to prioritise others (so fewer sports cars and more existential crises while doing the ironing). This could be an opportunity for you to think about what you’d like the rest of your life to look like, op.

I'm treasuring these days, DD1 nearly 21, DD2 18 and DS 14 and thankfully they all still need me. I'm 54

Mine still need me too (18 and 20 both have SENs) but I do get a lot more free time now than I did when they were younger.

I do think it is true about meaning and identity. Although I have managed a few hobbies outside the home since they were pre-teens, they tended to be somehow linked to the DCs eg my dance classes are at DC's dance school. Most of my social life is with primary school and nursery mums still. Virtually everyone I know in this town is because of the DCs as we moved here just before the oldest was born but both of us have always worked in elsewherr. So conversation is so often a catch up with what the DCs are doing. But recently I have started getting involved in completely separate things and getting to know totally new people who do not have DCs the same age so we don't talk about DCs (or not much) and instead find completely different things to talk about and it is really refreshing. I feel like me not just someone's mum.