Has dropping a friend made you feel better?

[eatthat]

I’ve dropped a friend, she owes me money she’s never going to pay, she cancels on me last minute, used me to drive her places. Last straw came from the oweing me money, avoiding me and posting herself on holiday.

Did anyone feel better in the long run for dropping shit people?

Every time.
Yes, I've done it a lot.
With the inevitable consequence that I have no friends.
And I like that best of all.

In your situation I would absolutely drop the friend (having done all I could to get my money back first!).

I have backed off from one or two friends when I’ve realised they are not who I thought they were. It leaves a sadness but certainly no regrets.

I think^^ so. I'm not very sentimental about friends and I don't stay in long friendships for their own sake. But then there are times I miss ex friends so I don't think there is an easy option. I'd love to have more friends who I could flow in and out of contact with but socially that's not really allowed.

I don't think it makes you feel necessarily better, but it takes the stress away. In your case, it seems like the right thing to do as clearly she doesn't respect your friendship. Once the respect has gone, along with common courtesy/ decency there's no way of going back. Honestly, she's not going to suddenly own up to her misdeeds and have an epiphany that she's treating you badly and change her behaviours, so time to show her the door.

Yes. Actually she dropped me when I had the temerity to not follow her orders and force 3 friends to take a day off so they could meet for a morning coffee on her birthday. Morning because it suits her, she doesn't work and she didn't want to meet in the evening.
We're all so much happier now. It took her hissing at me via the phone for 2 hours to realise what a sourpuss she is.

Yes. I don't regret it.
She was very self entitled, and it's nice not to have my inbox filed with her rants anymore.

You gotta do what you gotta do for your mental health.

Yes.

I dropped a group of friends who avoided my DH and I when his parents died, then posted photos on fb of a big fancy dress party that we weren't invited to and that had kept secret from us. I thought they were my best friends until then.

Dropping them and blocking them on sm made me feel so.much better. And 5 years later I haven't missed them at all.

Yes. The freedom is lovely

Yes. It's blissful not having them in my life.

I haven't heard from a friend for over a year - she has form for his with other people - and it's made me feel so much better. She had so much hate for most of our ex colleagues that her endless negativity wore me down. She was the sort of person that couldn't ever see that her point of view wasn't necessarily right.

It leaves a sadness but certainly no regrets.

This sums it up. I've never given a friend the hard drop, but I have deliberately let a few friendships drift and fade out. In every case I am clear that it was the right thing to do, but of course there is a sadness to it, because at one time I thought of them as good friends.

I think it is a "least worst option" situation in terms of how it feels, rather than feeling good.

Dropping my sister made me feel better, I've not totally cut ties but she has taken the hint I'm not around anymore.

This woman manages her life atrociously and makes the same mistakes over and over, life strategy is basically 'other people will bail me out'. Including me and is not even grateful for when I disrupt my life to help hers. So I've dropped.

Yes. I had one like yours, demanding and needy, and she actually owned me more money than I realised, which I'm still paying off now. Then a second one who just moaned at me all week and drained me.

I have dropped 2 unconnected friends ,1st one over 14 years ago not a friend i ever emotionally relied on as i knew she was very selfish ,did lots of things i judged her for mainly related to her children and wildly inappropriate relationships which she expected me to then sympathise and analyse with her on endless phone calls late into the night.
2nd one was a nasty drunk who turned on all our friends ,my patience just ran out a good few years ago.
I can't say i feel better, but mainly i don't think about either of them that much but i still have a very slight niggle in the back of my mind once in a while, i think this is because usually i am very loyal to people i care about , but i'm pretty sure i will never be friends with them again and i am very glad to have no crappy behaviour from anyone in my life, nor would i ever tolerate any again.

Yes, my 'best friend' and related (by marriage, kind of step relative). Borrowed money, pretended to be dying, neglected her kids and got addicted to drugs. I had tried to be supportive but she only contacted me when she wanted something and I realised our entire friendship had been very much me making all the effort and her taking, eventually I just blocked and moved on.
It's sad, but I don't miss her or feel bad about it.

We have similar sisters, I'm low contact with mine mostly because she very rarely replies to messages!

Yes. I was friends with a woman for over ten years. I met her when I was about 18 (she’s was in her thirties) at a low point in my life. We were actually in group therapy together. She was very unwell and also manipulative and any time I tried to pull away from the friendship, she would say she didn’t know what she would do without me in her life and basically imply she would harm herself. One day after I’d had a visit from her I just felt awful (I always felt really anxious and drained after spending time with her) and I decided I was just going to ghost her. It’s now over a decade later and I haven’t seen or spoken to her she still tries to contact me sometimes. I feel really bad sometimes but it had to be done. I was warned in the beginning not to become friendly with her but being young and vulnerable, I didn’t listen.

I dropped a whole friendship group, mainly because one was a narcissist who singled me out and the rest recognised it but did absolutely nothing about it
It's been one of the happiest years of my life without them. You dint realise how much people can impact your mental health and wellbeing, I'd rather be alone than part of their warped Idea of a friendship group, all bitching about eachother behind their backs

I've pulled away from people who make me feel bad. Relationships should leave a person feeling safe, accepted, good, etc.. I occasionally feel guilty or miss some aspect of them but that's OK.

It didn’t make me feel better at the time (I felt quite conflicted) but I am so happy not to have that friend in my life now. We bump into each other occasionally and she talks at me until I excuse myself and flee at the first opportunity. I don’t want to be rude to her but my life is simply much better without her in it.

Yes!

I’ve sadly recently done this. I was always the one driving I was always the one who had to listen to how various children caused problems. The two things that made me reconsider this friendship were
a) daughter was 11 weeks pregnant and in A&E with severe pain. This friendship was actually annoyed that I couldn’t meet up with her. When I phoned to apologise for about the fourth time, she didn’t pick the phone up and made some rubbish excuse about her husband asked her to look for the car keys!
b) her daughter is very controlling and drove her car at the x boyfriend and stopped just inches from her on the pavement. She actually justified this.
i decided to just keep away for a while and actually I feel better for it.
sometimes it’s just the best thing.

I’ve distanced myself from someone I really cared about, but who constantly made me feel ’less than’.

Im still friendly when I see her, and sometimes I miss her, but not enough to rekindle the friendship.

I dropped a friend as she was constantly ringing and texting my husband and had more contact with him than me.

Yes. A few times with friends who cancel plans at the last minute