Higher middle earners- how do you afford your fancy life?

[Led921900]

This is very much a tongue in cheek post … and yes I might be crying in my Tesco finest Prosecco but….

I live in London and there are smallish but relatively expensive houses around me that sell for about £1.1 million… inhabited by 2 parent 2 children families with nice cars, bugaboos and doodle dogs who go on all inclusive foreign holidays. How???

It’s not that unusual…. whereas we have a household income of about £140k which I thought was pretty good and I don’t feel like we’re doing particularly well at all. No prospect of upsizing our house, no fancy cars, no foreign holidays at an algarve all inclusive. I have had 3 kids but my childcare is cheap (£55 nursery a day full time) and to be honest when the kids are school age the childcare difference between 2 or 3 kids is hardly anything.

So how are you all doing it? It’s no fancy extensions for us, no upsizing to a nice house, no fancy cars (running a cheap Citroen) and our fancy foreign holiday is driving 10 hours to a nice Eurocamp caravan with air conditioning.

Is it…

1. Bank of mum and dad or inheritance has allowed you to afford a nice house with small mortgage?

2. Not having kids?

3. A very well paid job (if so, what and what earnings?).

My background is working class northerner but I can’t see the lifestyle we have now on a very good income is any different than what my parents could afford with us! And I’ve looked at my job elsewhere and the cut in earnings is more than the lower mortgage (although actually houses in nice areas near good schools i. Wirral/manchester are about the same as mine anyway!)

I don’t get it?

Not sure ppl are living the highlife.

I do love threads like this. Yes I know it could all be lies but I think not. Like the pp whose Dh was on 7 figures, her own business £200. Or the combined take home pay of £11k. ooooh what I could do with that money ..... I wouldn't be doing shitty home swaps or driving anywhere down to French skiing in Val d'Isère on that kind of money.

We work in tech and healthcare and have done well out of shares from previous places of employment.

lol you say it but don’t see it:

”I am the age I am and I bought the house at the price it was at the time ”

That IS luck.

I think we fit your description. To answer your question, we've benefitted from parents' circumstances and DH's income.

DH's working class parents lived as ex pats due to FIL's job, so they were able to let their UK house (cheap area) which paid off mortgage while they lived in a nice flat provided by work. DH went to uni when it was still free, went into high paying job and has climbed up, so now earns very well (6 figures). He bought a house early, before major boom.

My family more middle class but parents very thrifty and didn't spend much, made some canny investments, including helping me buy my first house which rose in value a lot while I lived in it. DH and I both sold our houses when we moved in together. My parents both died, so I got inheritance earlier than anticipated.

We live in an expensive area (not London) but have a large-ish house, nice cars (not luxury ones) and a few foreign holidays a year. DC go to state schools, BTW, which means we aren't spending on school fees.

What would you be doing?
You would have a mortgage, large houses have larger bills, greater council tax.
£11,000 a month isn't going to give you a jet set lifestyle.

OP - where in the north did you look that house prices/cost of living are so expensive?
There are pockets outside London where prices are high e.g Bristol (not north I know), but where I live you could get a 4 bed house in a nice area for a mortgage of 1k a month.
Eating out, entertainment and childcare are cheaper. No need for school bus fares...all adds up

Luck always has something to do with it.

I agree hard work plays a part in creating good fortune but so does the randomness of chance.

Some of the hardest working most tenacious people I know just got unlucky breaks due to illness, whether cancer, or other serious conditions (MS, arthritis).

Some of the most lackadaisical people I know just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Luck always has something to do with it.

I agree hard work plays a part in creating good fortune but so does the randomness of chance.

Some of the hardest working most tenacious people I know just got unlucky breaks due to illness, whether cancer, or other serious conditions (MS, arthritis).

Some of the most lackadaisical people I know just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Is it an option to move out of London & commute?

Luck always has something to do with it

This is what my DH’s siblings say to my DH because he earns five to ten times more than them even though they all had the same upbringing, education and life opportunities.

And you don't realise other factors come into play?

Health for starters? I know people who started on really stellar trajectories and then ill health got in the way

I am very successful, but I am also humble enough to recognise all the good fortune and lucky breaks that played a part in that.

Looking at most of these replies it is mostly luck. Luck that you were given a house or are old enough to have bought a house before 2008.

Exactly. Hard work creates more chances things will go well but it doesn't stop bad things happening. Just thinking about some of my friends who were just as hard working and driven as me, if not more so, but life threw hurdles in their way

• MS diagnosis and battles with medication
• a child born with severe SEN meaning they need a parent at home
• a bullying toxic boss who gave them a break down (and then they found out this had happened to several other people before them)

And that's just the first examples that come to my head. We aren't more successful than people like that due to hard work, but due to our good fortune not to have had to face the challenges they face

3 kids is a larger family these days. We earn a bit less than you but only have 1 dc and live a very good life. Never have to worry about money. 5 abroad holidays a year, meals out, dc in expensive clubs.

How much is the typical spend on a 2 week hol out of interest re: Upper Middle all inclusive?

Why, OP?
🙂
No kids, no mortgage, "higher middle earners",
massive inheritance on both sides.
Somewhat like this.

We chose to live a lifestyle that was economical, bordering on frugal because we wanted to hand something on to our children. We are the first in our family to start life in a bought not rented or shared home.
Sensible cars, own caravan for holidays.
subscriptions to Netflix and other Streaming services and constantly buying snacks/drinks/ice-creams stops you from saving that money.
Dogs are a particular curse imo, not just because of the cost of feeding & vet bill&insurance it. But the thinking time they rob some people of and the concentration.
Saving is a serious business when you earn say between minimum wage and average earnings only.

Can someone tell me what’s wrong with AI holidays? We just booked one as it’s so easy with young children

Absolutely nothing, however there is a strange snobbery around them on Mumsnet. Some think that by sneering at them and implying they are for the uncouth plebs, it makes them somehow more classy.

We simply couldn't afford the mortgage to buy this house as first time buyers now

Thank you for saying this. This is what many people - who talk about starter homes, cutting back on Avocado toast, working hard, getting promoted, and other ways for young people to get on the property ladder - do not admit.

Aside: Later, these people are horrified at the cost of younger people's mortgages and suggest moving (up north, usually), or simply say "you shouldn't have over-extended yourself".

Grandparents inheritances?

@Radiatorrung its not property, I never fancied being a landlord due to the risk of all profit being wiped out. It is now mainly in ISA fixed rate savings and stocks and shares ISA. It’s moved around each year to whoever offers the best deals. When younger we dabbled in high risk trading. We took some real risks and it could have gone horribly wrong. I opened an ISA the first year it was available.

The middle-middle class censure of debt is why we’re not minted, IMO.

I kick myself now because I didn’t borrow loads to haul myself up the housing ladder during my peak earning pre-family years. Just stayed in my little London flat (that I bought on 100% mortgage which I accept was outrageously lucky). I made some money when I sold but would have made an awful lot more if I’d followed the example of my cannier UMC friends.

Robbed myself of cheap interest rates and leveraging and compromised my work ethic to boot.

To my eternal shame I remember badmouthing a colleague who had borrowed £30k on a 0% credit card to do up her flat in the early 00’s.

I met her at a 50th recently and now she has a property portfolio and retired age 42.