Higher middle earners- how do you afford your fancy life?

[Led921900]

This is very much a tongue in cheek post … and yes I might be crying in my Tesco finest Prosecco but….

I live in London and there are smallish but relatively expensive houses around me that sell for about £1.1 million… inhabited by 2 parent 2 children families with nice cars, bugaboos and doodle dogs who go on all inclusive foreign holidays. How???

It’s not that unusual…. whereas we have a household income of about £140k which I thought was pretty good and I don’t feel like we’re doing particularly well at all. No prospect of upsizing our house, no fancy cars, no foreign holidays at an algarve all inclusive. I have had 3 kids but my childcare is cheap (£55 nursery a day full time) and to be honest when the kids are school age the childcare difference between 2 or 3 kids is hardly anything.

So how are you all doing it? It’s no fancy extensions for us, no upsizing to a nice house, no fancy cars (running a cheap Citroen) and our fancy foreign holiday is driving 10 hours to a nice Eurocamp caravan with air conditioning.

Is it…

1. Bank of mum and dad or inheritance has allowed you to afford a nice house with small mortgage?

2. Not having kids?

3. A very well paid job (if so, what and what earnings?).

My background is working class northerner but I can’t see the lifestyle we have now on a very good income is any different than what my parents could afford with us! And I’ve looked at my job elsewhere and the cut in earnings is more than the lower mortgage (although actually houses in nice areas near good schools i. Wirral/manchester are about the same as mine anyway!)

I don’t get it?

No bank of mum and dad for us. Growing up I got into the habit of paying into pensions and saving half my salary before spending anything. This means there’s always a buffer on top of a buffer as our lifestyle isn’t massive. I think the most extravagent thing we spend on is private school for ds

@Ozanj, we didn't set out to be BoMaD, but that decision/choice has taken some decisions for us. We also (happily) have had our parents alive until quite recently.. I still have two live parents but DH has now inherited his half of his parents' lives work, less the care home fees. It wasn't a life changing amount.

I would imagine an all inclusive ski hotel or catered chalet ( breakfast, afternoon tea & cakes, dinner & wine in the evening) would have a very different clientele especially in say Austria or Switzerland

@Elphamouche thanks for your insight.

We spend a lot on holidays probably about £150k a year which feels like an appalling amount when written down but doesn’t feel particularly extravagant (and I know I’ll get flamed for that - I realise we’re very lucky!) in terms of the places we stay and the costs. We’re certainly not flying first or staying at the four seasons every night.

Last year we did a week at mid term skiing in Austria (cheaper than France but stayed in a 5); Easter we went to Italy for ten days (3/4 hotels, all the touristy stuff and a lot of “skip the line”); summer was ten days 5 AI in Greece; October mid term 8 days in NY (4* hotel, again all the touristy stuff) and then Christmas AI skiing.

there were a few weekends away, just me and DH or with respective friends (Marbella, Dublin, Palma, Edinburgh)

AI is an absolute godsend when you have young adult DC. The first year the two eldest were 18 we did a week in Portugal and the bar bill for the first three days was almost £2k. Representing ten hour days of cocktails, poolside salads, ice creams and mocktails.

I very rarely sell Ski. But yes, it does.

I know plenty of people who are you describe - but they probably earn £140k+ each.

@Elphamouche just out of interest what are the fashionable destinations for the jet set this year? Wouldk love your job!

I would imagine an all inclusive ski hotel or catered chalet ( breakfast, afternoon tea & cakes, dinner & wine in the evening) would have a very different clientele especially in say Austria or Switzerland

unsurprisingly given the costs. Our AI in Austria last year was £29k for family of 6, I’ve just priced up similar for France for £47k. Friends we’re going with are in Switzerland the week after so there was talk of doing the whole holiday there but costs were eye watering.

How many children do you have?! My husband is quite picky with hotels and we stay in pretty high end places but I’m shocked you’re not getting Four Seasons level for £150k a year!!

I’m shuddering to think what the “eye-watering” costs must be when my eyes are already watering profusely at your 30 grand for a ski holiday! And we are regular skiers so I understand how the prices work.

Either generational wealth so no mortgage or school fees etc paid for by grandparents or earning a lot more than you’d expect - e.g., some sales director roles get 400k bonuses if they’ve had a good year. I do think the bugaboo holiday people either earn over 300k household or don’t have to worry about certain expenses due to grandparent wealth.