Odd group holiday, sharing arrangements

[RiverF]

So, I go away with friends quite often. I'm happy to share with anyone in the group, but draw the line at married men, out of respect for their wives.

This time we have

Two single men
Married couple
Married man coming without his wife
Me

Then, my 21yo son has asked to join because we're doing something that appeals to him. This is excellent news because he's had a terrible couple of years and hasn't shown any interest in anything for ages. The group is absolutely fully supportive of this. He knows them all, but not especially well.

Then married couple's adult son announced he will be unexpectedly in the country for the week we're away. It is suggested that rather than they cancel, son comes with us. All good with everyone. The two sons do not know each other. Married couple's son is also married, age c.25yo.

The original booking was:

Room 1 married couple
Room 2 two single men
Room 3 married man
Room 4 me.

So we have enough beds for the "boys" to come. Accomodation is very remote and there are no more rooms available.

I had expected DS would share with me and friend's son would share with married man, but there's been a suggestion that a young man sharing with his mum is inappropriate.

Is it and if so, how would you split the rooms? I have shared with one of the single men before and it was all fine, but they booked their room first. It was originally a trip for the two if them and has expanded 🤣

I'd leave it as it is...?

It makes more sense for you to share with your son than with anyone else.

Young Man sharing with his Mum is arguably less inappropriate than Mum sharing with someone else's Husband!

Surely your Son shares with you (assuming he's comfortable with that) and other Son shares with married Man.

I don't see an issue with a 21 year old sharing a room with his DM. What do people think is going to occur?!

You sharing a room with a single man, not related to you would be a bigger issue.

Or maybe the two females share a room and the males sort themselves out between the other 3 rooms? It doesn’t sound like a particularly romantic trip requiring the married couple to share.

Room 1. You and the married woman
Room 2. Two single men
Room 3. Two young sons
Room 4. Two married men

Do they mean it would be more fun for the young uns to share as opposed to actually inappropriate? Weird if not!

I'd stick to your plan either way. It's been your boundary and has worked well so far on trips in terms of being comfortable

Not weird at all for you to share with your son, and lovely that he wants to.

Totally fine for your son to share with you... my son would prefer that to sharing with someone he didn't know. I camp with my grown up kids.. tiny tent, cramped camper van.. It sounds like your son might also be happier to share with you than a stranger.

Married couple's son is the last addition - his problem to sort.

there's been a suggestion that a young man sharing with his mum is inappropriate.

Who made that suggestion? Surely if the mum and son are happy with doing that, it’s irrelevant what other people think?

I'm not suggesting I share with married man, that absolutely won't happen, but I could share with one of the single men.

It was my dad, who's not coming!

Why would you sharing with a single man be any more appropriate than you sharing with your son?

Another one who can’t see what the problem is with an adult son sharing with his mother (provided both are happy)

Definitely can’t expect the married couple to sleep separately, that would just be weird.

You share with the other woman. The two lads share together. The other men all put keys in a bowl.

Mind you, I also wouldn’t have a problem sharing with a married man assuming it’s not a double bed. Nothing’s going to happen!

Jeez. I share with my 20 year old son, and this holiday my 19 year old daughter will share either my 20 year old son in twin beds.

I'd be comfortable to share with married man, i know nothing will happen, but I might not be comfortable as his wife, which is why neither of us would do that.

I am assuming it is a heterosexual marriage by bad if it isn't and I'll check myself next time

It’s weird to share a room with a man who isn’t your partner or family (unless you’re really old close mates), doesn’t matter if they are single or married.

But the most sensible arrangement is to share with your son. The other couples son shares with them or one of the other men.

I don't know, but my dad is horrified at the idea. DS appears happy.

Why is it an issue if it’s your dad who objects and he’s not going?

Is he paying? If not he can shut up

All the "grown ups" are really close, we travel together a lot. I've shared with one of the single men a couple of times before and there was nothing akward about it.

I did find the idea odd when I was first single, but once you've been single for a while, you build a different kind of friendships IME

I don't know. He's 80 and says he'd have been horrified at the idea of sharing with his mum when he was DS's age.

Mind you he also tells the tale of horror of the time he went away with a male friend and they had to share a bed.

It sounds like it's all good and I should just ignore dad.

Your dad's peculiar.

Does he genuinely think you are better off sharing a room with either a single man - or one who is married to another woman - than your own son?

Both of these are inappropriate. There is nothing wrong with sharing with DS.