Get me through this week.

[NervyMum]

My only child (18yo) is in Tenerife at the moment. I can't stop worrying. He's fine and has sent photos. What with the recent news concerning Michael Mosley and Jay Slater, I can't stop worrying. I've got another 5 days to get through. My mind won't stop thinking of bad things, like drowning in the sea, horrendous sunburn etc.

I so wish I could stop worrying. HELP.

You can't stop yourself worrying, but keeping busy helps. Have you got much on?

Look at it logically. Millions of tourists go there every year and 99.999% of them come home completely safe and well.

Of those who don't, most of them will be older people who've become ill or died of natural causes.

Literally a handful will have ended up in the same position of Michael Mosley or Jay Slater - the chances of this is about the same as winning the lottery.

Horrible isn’t it, you think the worse time for worry is when they’re tiny and defenceless but it just gets worse (for a short while!) once they hit late teens - it feels like the worry will never end but it does!

You have to remember all the young adults that regularly go on holiday, have nights out, go camping, off to nightclubs and stay safe. It sounds like he’s keeping in touch and he’ll be home so soon.

It’s unfortunate that your son’s holiday has coincided with the unfortunate Mosley and Slater events. Is your son usually sensible and are his friends responsible and sensible? Just keep in touch with him daily (perhaps morning and evening) and remind him to keep hydrated, and be sensible re alcohol etc and time spent in the sun. I can understand your concern. My younger son spent a week in Berlin with a group of friends and I was glad to receive a daily update that all was well. Try to keep busy, don’t read too much online and your son will be home before you know it. 💕

This is terrible advice do not do this!

There's always one nasty one isn't there. I guess that's you.

Actually my advice is the only decent advice on here.

Just give it a rest FFS

@Chenecinquantecinq what a thoroughly unpleasant and arrogant person you sound.

You won’t stop worrying until he’s home. You worry whatever age they are. It doesn’t have a cut off point. I’m sure he’ll be fine and having a great time x

Really? There’s nothing wrong with a text saying “all well here” once or twice a day to reassure someone at home, given the severe weather conditions in parts of the continent at the moment.

Wow. Yes there is it’s pandering to an obvious parental anxiety issue. Perhaps the parent (of which I’m sure there are many on here) deal with their anxiety problems rather than offload onto their children and expect their children to make them feel better. My point re only children is with more than one child the parental anxiety tends to lessen as it’s spread across several children. I’m blunt but I’m right.

I've not asked him to message. I've not told him I'm anxious.

You know nothing. Your arrogance is alarming.

If they text home does that make a difference to what they’re up to? Not one jot. All it does is use your child to ease your own parental anxiety. It’s not in the (adult) child’s interest. A better scenario is to work on your own issues.

Did you already post about this before he went? How you were terrified about him going?

I don't want to belittle the fear as mine are still young but I hope I am a bit more chilled when mine do go away. Its going to be a very long week for you, if you don't find a way to manage your anxiety 😕

@Chenecinquantecinq Thats not true as I have 4 and I still worry when they are on holiday - you're either like that or you're not. Logically you know that it'll be fine, but there's that 0.0001% that creates situations that you can't stop catastrophising about. Two of mine have been travelling- one for 6 months in Asia and I absolutely didn't want to ask him to text every day as I knew if he forgot or couldn't I'd be all over the place... luckily, he posted pretty often on IG and I sort of got used to it after a while. My husband meanwhile never worries at all...

There’s worrying which is natural and then there’s irrational anxiety re Michael Mosley type scenarios etc which prompts someone to post on a forum because their anxiety is negatively affecting them. Different things.

If they text home does that make a difference to what they’re up to?

No, of course not, but at least you know they’re still alive and reasonably compos mentis!

Edit: (which is sometimes the most you can hope for!)

Do you actually have children? Because some of the bullshit you are spouted makes me think you don't

Well presumably they are not holidaying alone and their friends/companions would notice if they went AWOL? I know I am sounding harsh but this is the logic someone needs to work with if they are going to get their anxiety in check.

@Chenecinquantecinq

Do you get a kick out of bullying anxious mums?

Sod off. And sod off Mumsnet. For parents by parents.....my arse. It's full of toxic bullying keyboard warriors.

Well presumably they are not holidaying alone and their friends/companions would notice if they went AWOL?

And? Do your teenagers’ friends all know your address and phone number to let you know? Do you even have teenagers?

Hope the week goes quick for you

Yes I do. I know though that if I start curtailing my children's lives by requesting check ins (especially adult children) then this is selfish and the only purpose would be to make myself feel better. Part of being a good parent is letting them go with all the difficulties/pain that this can bring. Focusing on yourself and your own feelings rather than trying to control (adult) offspring to prevent these feelings is the first step to progress. I appreciate the OP has clarified that she has not requested texts another poster suggested this.