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Original poster

Teacher's birthday

32 replies

ijustneedtokeepbreathing · 21/06/2024 18:53

Maybe I am being miserable and tight about this, I don't know. My Dc's teacher has told the whole class when her birthday is (the exact date, as opposed to "next month" etc). There is now a flurry of activity amongst some of the parents to buy gifts and bake cakes.

I have never known this to happen before. It feels a bit wrong to me. There are families in the class who definitely can't afford to buy gifts, while there is also a group of extremely wealthy parents, who are driving this.

It feels way, way too much to me, esp with end of term gifts so close. I doubt the teacher told them with any of this in mind and probably doesn't expect anything at all, but this is ... A bit bonkers, right?

Surely birthday gifts for teachers aren't a "thing"?!

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 21/06/2024 18:55

Some people have more money than sense.

Others have less money and even less sense 🤷‍♂️

NuffSaidSam · 21/06/2024 18:58

I've never heard of teacher birthday presents before.

I'd get your child to make a card if they want to join in or make a bracelet/craft item, but I wouldn't buy a gift.

Singersong · 21/06/2024 19:00

Just say no to whoever has asked you to contribute.

I wouldn't blame the teacher though, kids always ask people when their birthday is.

Original poster
ijustneedtokeepbreathing · 21/06/2024 19:02

@Singersong yes, I don't blame the teacher, I doubt they would have seen all of this coming.

OP posts:
Lou670 · 21/06/2024 19:03

Good God no! End of term gift is acknowledging what they have done for your child. A birthday is part of their personal life and not about their profession. I think it so wrong of the teacher to have mentioned her birthday at all. Obviously the children are going be excited about it and want to do something, this puts pressure on the parents. If this is a new thing, then (like children) what about the ones that have a birthday fall when the school is shut? They miss out then.

Busstopliz · 21/06/2024 19:03

Why can't the adults say no to their child? It's not difficult and in my view it's something parents need to do more.

Merrow · 21/06/2024 19:04

That's crazy. In DS1's class a teacher happened to mention her birthday to a parent and a child overheard, and a few children made a card. That seem the most effort that should ever be made!

Icanwalkintheroom · 21/06/2024 19:05

No this isn’t a thing at all. I bring cakes in for my class on my / my TAs birthdays (but don’t ever tell them dates in advance).

user1471538283 · 21/06/2024 19:05

This is madness. I never used to do an end of term thing either.

We've got a cost of living crisis. Just say no.

BananaSpanner · 21/06/2024 19:06

It was DDs teachers bday this week. Kids sang Happy Birthday to her. Job done.

GigiAnnna · 21/06/2024 19:06

Just say no and if it's on a class whatsapp chat, just ignore. We have the same few mums from the class who take it upon themselves to organise extravagant gifts for teachers at Christmas and end of term and they bombard the whatsapp group with requests for money. I don't engage with it and prefer to buy my own (cheap) gift. I also find the women that organise it a bit cheeky and annoying.There is no obligation to join in with these things.

Original poster
ijustneedtokeepbreathing · 21/06/2024 19:07

Ok, so I am not being mean and miserable about it then. I happily do a little gift at the end of the year (box of chocs, kids might make something to give as a gift), but this is too much. We might make a card or sign a class one, but that's it.

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 21/06/2024 19:08

Has anyone asked you to contribute, OP?

Original poster
ijustneedtokeepbreathing · 21/06/2024 19:09

@GigiAnnna yes, it feels like pressure and an obligation, and a bit nauseating tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
ijustneedtokeepbreathing · 21/06/2024 19:10

@TwattyMcFuckFace there is someone who is doing a collection and has asked all class parents, including me. And others who are baking things and have asked if anyone else wants to bake!

OP posts:
MateysMusing · 21/06/2024 19:13

Teacher should have known better than to mention it.

All this gifts to teachers thing is an absolute load of 21st century bollocks, pushed by places like card factory and the like hawking all manner of tat. Christmas gifts, end of year gifts and now birthday gifts. Do you think a primary school teacher really wants 20 mugs a year with worlds best teacher emblazoned on them? Course not, they'll end up in landfill and the teachers really wont care about simpering one upmanship between parents.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/06/2024 19:18

My singular purchase of a birthday present was when DE's 121 turned 21 and she'd been it for several years. Shoved a £20 in her card. So a special birthday and a teacher / TA I thought a LOT of, I would. But not in general

SleepingStandingUp · 21/06/2024 19:21

Lou670 · 21/06/2024 19:03

Good God no! End of term gift is acknowledging what they have done for your child. A birthday is part of their personal life and not about their profession. I think it so wrong of the teacher to have mentioned her birthday at all. Obviously the children are going be excited about it and want to do something, this puts pressure on the parents. If this is a new thing, then (like children) what about the ones that have a birthday fall when the school is shut? They miss out then.

TBF our teachers tend to bring in sweets for the kids on their birthdays just like the kids do

QueenOfWeeds · 21/06/2024 19:28

The thing about not mentioning it is children love birthdays, and they love finding out little things about their teachers to make them seem more human. I used to add any adult who worked in our class to our birthday board (and I would buy flowers for my team). My birthday is early September so mine had always been and gone before theirs, so no chance for reciprocity. I’m sure this teacher didn’t intend for a whole class gift.

One year a boy in my class noticed it, and for the next four years (!) he remembered the day and came up to say happy birthday to me.

TooLateForRoses · 21/06/2024 19:28

God no. At the very most your kid can make a card but even that is weird.

AutumnLeaves1990 · 21/06/2024 19:31

That's ridiculous. Never heard of this. There has been a couple of teachers who,at primary, brought in cupcakes or a biscuit for the pupils but never gifts. Very grabby of the teacher to give the exact date.

MateysMusing · 21/06/2024 19:32

The thing about not mentioning it is children love birthdays, and they love finding out little things about their teachers to make them seem more human.

Cant say I agree with that. There should be a healthy social distance between teachers and their pupils and sharing things like birthdays seems a step way too far. They're not meant to be on a par with their friends.

TooLateForRoses · 21/06/2024 19:32

@TwattyMcFuckFace what a username 😂

Sugargliderwombat · 21/06/2024 19:42

I am a teacher and this would make me want to hide under a rock. SO embarrassing, she will be paranoid people think she asked for gifts 😂 poor thing.

waryandbored · 21/06/2024 19:46

I’m a teacher and the kids usually find out when my birthday is because they love nothing more than telling me when their birthdays are, how many days until their birthday etc. Mine is in September so they usually find out once it’s passed. I would be mortified if parents bought birthday presents! A card made by a child is always lovely or a little picture they’ve drawn but not presents! I find it hard enough at Christmas and in July when they bring things in for me and I know so many families are struggling. It’s kind and thoughtful but really unnecessary.