Is private school worth it?

[Tristar15]

Yes, I know another private school thread but I am genuinely curious if it is worth it in terms of if you know people who have been to private school and it has helped them become more ‘successful’ than people you know who went to state school.

I realise that a lot of responses will make reference to how you define ‘success’ and I guess for the point of this thread I’m thinking in terms of job / profession etc

Me and most of my friends went to local comps. We have jobs ranging in salaries from 30K to 100K. I have friends who went to private school, all earn in the same range. No particular differences in life style between us. Private school friends came from families with money but not stupid amounts, it was a choice to send them there and they could afford it. Their kids have the same jobs, earn the same money and live in the same area as the kids of parents who didn’t spend thousands of pounds.

Out of people I know who went to private school some are now building boats, some are working as bar managers. Most have very normal professional jobs. Just like the people I know who went to their local state school.
For context my state school friends and I all went to schools that were not outstanding (in my case, not even good).

If in my small, anecdotal case, we’ve all ended up in similar positions in life but it cost some families thousands, is private school worth it?

My parents definitely sent me to private school for the exam results/career advantages. They made this very clear to me!

It worked, I got great exam results and I earn well now. I don't know what it would have been like if I had gone to state school.

My kids are at a state primary at the moment, we might consider private secondary. For me, it would definitely about the academics, not the extra curriculars. And I don't necessarily mean exam results but how good the teaching is, how much it goes into the bigger picture/context.

I wouldn't pay the amount of money that private school costs for good extra curriculars - I could literally hire a nanny to take them outside school hours and it would be much cheaper. But I recognise this is a London perspective - both in the sense that fees are very high in London and in the sense that it's very easy to find extra curriculars outside school

For us yes. Both ex and I went to a state schools.

The schools in our area were bad. It’s given my girls the opportunity to learn in smaller class rooms, solid foundation in learning and a really positive attitude towards school.

I imagine the teachers are exactly the same in state as they are in private - it’s just easier for them as the classes are so much smaller and the kids are more well behaved, less issues to deal with.

However I moved and there is an excellent primary near me - if that would have been available I’d have put them in there.

But I recognise this is a London perspective - both in the sense that fees are very high in London and in the sense that it's very easy to find extra curriculars outside school

Thats true, we also do a lot of external extracurriculars (I think it’s good for dc to have friend groups outside of school) & they are on our doorstep.

Sending your children to private school expecting them to walk out with the best grades and connections to go on to earn high salaries is setting you (and them) up for disaster.

DH and I have a very wide social circle with a pretty good split of private and state educated as well as those educated abroad. I should note majority of the state educated went to better state schools, with very few attending poor ones. The ones who attended poorer schools were most set on sending their own children private. But to answer one part of your question from the outcomes of adults - everyone is content with a decent lifestyle. I admit, our circle falls far more towards the top 25% of earners in UK but I strongly believe parental input and attitude to education has a much bigger part to play than the schools we went to. From those who attended elite private schools, the ones that used the connections from school to get to higher places are few and far between - of course it has been worth it for that person but how would you possibly know if your child will fall into that category? Having known 2 of these people from childhood, it could not have been predicted when their parents made the choice to send them there at 11. Equally I know many who were truly exceptional at school and everyone always thought they would go onto change the world but they have decided to have a simple life - absolutely no criticism as they are happy which is all you would want.

Is it worth it for our children? It has been for primary because the wraparound allowed my career to progress and state options for us would not have done. We will not use secondary as the current fees would leave us close to the breadline which we do not believe is worth it.

I would say that those ex private school people building boats and working in bars can only do so as they either have some private income to prop them up or are safe in the knowledge they’ll be looked after by parents one day so don’t need to earn big bucks

Growing up my neighbours sent their dc to Eton, one of the dc became a teacher & their dad was bitterly disappointed which I think is really sad.

I don’t send my child to private school in the hope that he’ll get a better job than his state school mates. I send him because grandparents offered to pay and because as a quiet, average-achiever he would be lost in a state school. In private, he gets the chance to learn without disruption and without bullying. The small class sizes mean that he can reach his potential.

I went to private school on a full scholarship. Only one of my other three siblings went to private school. The brother and I have both done significantly better than my other two siblings. Whether that is down to schooling I don't know but it would make sense. My brother and I got full scholarships.

It’s worth it for my child- class of 18, lots of 1:1 support included in fees, two course healthy lunch, loads of extracurriculars, wraparound available every day to all 7.30-6 and can be booked on the day.

I went to a state school with a now MP and another who is a member of the Royal Philharmonic, both in my form. The doctor who assisted with DC1's birth was also in my form.

Terrible places, state schools. Those students have absolutely no chance at succeeding.

(Btw, my DC went to the same school - one is a surveyor and one is a biomedical scientist...)

London has the best grammars in the country. Every study shows wealth increases achievement. Grammars have very low FSM, on a par with private schools in many cases (thanks to Bursaries). It doesn't matter where you are if you are rich and there is a grammar, it is the equivalent of a free private leg up and isn't for the poor who can't afford tutoring.

Most grammar kids did go to private primaries.

Another London perspective thing I think is wraparound which I sometimes see cited as a reason to go private.

In our area of London at least, every single primary has wraparound. My children's school has 7:30-6:30.

Private school wasn’t “worth it” for me if my parents expected me to get a well-paid, high-powered job out of it. I knew when I started the school at 11 what job I wanted and I am now doing that job. it is not a job that private school pupils typically do, it did not require top exam grades to get into, is not well-paid, does not require or provide any kind of social connections. I think my parents sent me to the (academically selective, single-sex) private school because they felt their quiet child would do better emotionally and educationally in a smaller school with smaller class sizes.
I am now considering moving DC1 to a private school. I am hoping this will make her more “successful” in terms of jobs etc, because I hope she will actually be able to regularly attend this school and it will be better able to support her SEN so that she can access an education. I don’t expect her to end up in a high-paying, professional job from a private education, but I hope she can achieve enough and be happy enough to have the option of whatever job she might want. Currently her state school puts a lot in place to support her but she still is unable to attend most of the time, partly because it’s too big and noisy and there are too many people, and the only way to get her a school that’s small enough to hopefully be manageable is to pay.

Are you a journalist OP?

There can't possibly be a blanket yes or no answer to this question.

There are some kids who would get the same stellar results at any school and whose extracurricular interests can be served by any school, who have no interest in studying ancient greek or russian or chinese, and whose catchment comprehensive are fine. For them maybe it's not worth it. For other kids there could be a myriad of reasons why they wouldn't have had a good educational experience at whatever state school was available to them (though might have been fine at a different one that had no places for them) and for those kids it probably was worth it. There's no doubt that state schools can and do produce a great many well educated, well rounded and happy individuals who will thrive in their adult life. Each parent has to decide the best school for their specific child. Approximately the wealthiest 3rd of households are able to consider the possibility of whether the best school might be a private one. Nobody ever gets to know for certain what would have happened if they had made a different choice.

@mathsAIoptions my point was re expensive houses and grammars. As I said most London grammars don’t have catchments. I also never said grammars were for the poor…

And even if you are rich & tutor it’s no guarantee of a place in a London grammar.

And I'll add, when I say better, I don't mean wages, I mean in general. We can both play musical instruments well, have a good sporting background, I can sail as I learnt in school, my brother is a well recognised local rugby player, we both speak another language well as we studied it intensely at school, etc.

I think it depends on the school, if it's Eton or Harrow feeding into Oxford or Cambridge, it will have almost certainly have an impact on earnings.

If it's the local non-selective private school, I wouldn't expect it to particularly lead to higher paying jobs, but it might be a more pleasant schooling experience (depending on the quality of the local state schools) but almost certainly smaller classes and likely better discipline.

London grammars tend to have a very high % of pupils who first language is not English.

Not all private schools are made equal. Some are extremely academic and very good, some are no better (academically) than local comps - probably because they’re not selective.

Lots of people here saying their friends are successful and went to state school, but this doesn’t really prove anything. By far the majority of people go to state schools so the chances are that the people you know went to one, and of course, lots of those people will have done very well. Perhaps they wouldn’t have done so well if they had gone to a state school now, with all of the challenges they are now facing.

I don't send mine to private for the increased chance of success. Who knows what he will end up doing.

We do it because: the state alternatives in our area are awful. The learning environment is far better, there is a huge emphasis on manners and respect. The sporting provision far outweighs what state can offer and the same with extracurricular activities.

As a result, our child is (in the main) very happy and that is worth it to us.

Yes it's expensive and I'm not thrilled at the thought of paying even more but that's our choice so we will get on with it.

Plus you can be on the breadline & not qualify for FSM as the threshold is shockingly low.

All our children are privately educated but the families I know who have the same values and commitment as us as regards education and who sent their children to state schools have turned out broadly the same as ours.

IMO it’s the home environment that matters far more than the school.

There’s private and private, though. Some are highly selective from an academic POV - some (probably rather more) will take just about anyone whose parents are willing and able to pay the fees.

IMO those who are bright enough anyway to pass exams into the first category, plus have parents sufficiently well off to pay the fees, are doubly lucky from the word go anyway, so more likely to do well.