Juiciest conversation/message exchange you've accidentally overheard/seen

[Echobelly]

For a bit of fun, have you ever heard a conversation or seen an exchange of messages that you're not supposed to but you can't help tuning into?

About a year ago I was next to an older guy on the tube who was typing out a furious email, presumably to an adult child, along the lines of 'Your grandfather would be ashamed, the businesses of [Family Name] has to be passed on....' and things along those lines. I just caught a glance of it and was transfixed. Serious family melodrama! The whole tone of it was like something from a vintage TV series, I honestly didn't think anyone actually talked (typed?) like that anymore.

Once received an email from the receptionist in our office which she had sent to all the software engineers asking for whoever had ordered a copy of "'Hand in Bush - a guide to vaginal fisting' to collect it from the front desk. We set up 24-hour surveillance until one of the Test engineers crept down to collect it (yes, he was weird). Careful what you have sent to the office!

My male friend, who is a whole heap of fun but also a complete handful, once messaged me a video.

Obviously I should have been suspicious. I'm sure many of you will have seen them, they start of looking like something intriguing (this was the rescue of a construction worker dangling precariously off a bridge) and just as it gets interesting, it flips very loud hardcore porn for just enough seconds that you can't turn it down.

He knows where I work, and my boss is someone very well known, and he was hoping I would be in a meeting with my boss when I opened it. It would have been absolutely mortifying if that had happened. Thanks arsehole!

Glorious!

Not quite a conversation overheard - more of a conversation l accidentally had. Many years ago my best friend and her husband were splitting up - l couldn’t understand it as she/they had seemed very happy - l would find her sobbing uncontrollably, she just kept saying she couldn’t make it work anymore - a little while later her father died and at the wake another friend sidled up to me and said how awful it was that our mutual friend’s marriage was falling apart - l agreed and she said ‘well you obviously know all about it’ - l nodded - the next thing, we go into another room and she spills that she was the one that caught the mutual friend ‘in flagrante’ with the daughter’s long term boyfriend - suddenly it all made sense - l didn’t let on that l had no knowledge of any of this - the couple divorced - boyfriend dumped the daughter and mother - life moves on but that was quite a shocker.

In work female colleague sending emails to her fancy fella not fiance she was cheating and they corresponded by text and email she went off sick so I had to open her emails and i read all her juicy messages she was also planning her wedding at this time scary thing was I think fancy man and fiance were related I even got to meet fancy man at works party when she pretended they had just met but I knew otherwise they were going off together that night we fell out and I could have easy blown up her life up but decided not to bother. Be careful with your work emails!

This just happened yesterday. Sat in nice little cafe having light lunch with husband and 2 kids. Single man (60s) sat next to us. Another man ( also 60s) entered and sat next to single guy, not opposite. Assumed they were friends, thought nothing more, tucked in to lunch. Gradually started picking up bits of conversation from new arrival. Became very animated and saying “They were trying to kill me” “ There was bits of metal in my rice” “ I had to get off the bus” ….Suddenly says to original guy “I can trust you can’t I?” and gets up and leaves. Being British, we pretend we hadn’t heard/ make uncomfortable eye contact with original man. He says “I have no idea what that was about or who he is “. He was as confused as we were.

I had a PA many years back who was assigned to work with me by my company. She was just really irritating and reluctant to do her job. She was a newlywed, young and very ambitious. Another employee messaged me accidentally instead of her … saying he was going to shag her so hard she wouldn’t sit down for a week 😂 I don’t deny that I took some pleasure in speaking to her about it…she resigned pretty soon afterwards.

I was sat next to my boyfriend when a woman started whatsapping him. It was all lovey dovey, saying how she couldn't wait to see him again, but also referred to his office (and from the context was clearly where he worked). He showed it to me and I didn't know what to think. Then she referred to last night but we'd been together... he replied asking her who he thought she was speaking with.

Turned out it was a woman who worked in his office who was seeing another guy that worked that - but had the same first name as my bf. She then split the beans and told us all about the affair. It got more interesting than the TV show we were watching.

I was once walking through my hometown with adult dd and baby dd in the buggy

Two ladies stepped out in front of us-'well!' says one of them 'I never thought id have a shit in those toilets again!'

Adult dd and I just looked at each other and cracked up-nobody will use those loos again-the council knocked them down about a week later

Sounds a bit baby reindeer

Was once queuing at the corner shop when a wild eyed woman stormed in, queue jumped us all and screeched "Let me through! I'm menstruating'.

Naturally we all backed the fuck away.

Woah Bodyform.....

Bloke in my team having an affair with an older married lady in the same office. Years ago when everyone was office based. We had a company email - "All <company name>". Her name began with "A". He emailed her to ask if she was wearing her sexy red panties...... except of course he hit send before double checking he'd got the correct email address beginning with "A"....

I recently went out with a bunch of men I only slightly knew. I was interested in what they thought about vulvas. They enthusiastically told me they didn't care what it looked like, they'd have a good old nosh - only the presence or absence of hair was an issue. The whole pub heard this exchange. The guys didn't give a shit. Gotta love 'em!!!

I used to teach mature students a short business course that they needed to be able to perform their work role correctly. In the main the people who attended were intelligent, attentive professionals who took the course very seriously, but I once had two from different companies who appeared to know each very, very well and were obviously not very interested in the course content. Turned out they were both married, having a torrid affair together, and were only on the course so they could spend a couple of weeks together in a hotel. This became obvious when I saw the woman pass a note to the bloke that he discarded on the floor after reading it and smirking at her. I cleared up at lunchtime and naturally unfolded and read the note which bore the words "oh god, I can't wait for our lunchtime shag, I'm going to the lav for a wank". Needless to say neither one passed the exam at the end of the course.

I went to hospital to have my wisdom teeth removed in a clinic where everyone scheduled for the same thing. Shared a lift up with an exhausted couple with a very tiny baby maybe a couple of months old. Partner left and was told hospital would ring when she was ready to be discharged. Nurses carried out a compulsary pregnancy test and hers was positive. The colour just drained and she had to call her partner back. He hadn't even got to the car and the little one was screaming the place down. Bet that was an interesting conversation!!°

Did you report this to the police?

With no idea what airport or who Lisa is or when they're flying? You think there will be a Nationwide stopping of everyone called Lisa for the next month?

Glamorous mid-40s lady. Train to suburbs. On mobile, slightly tipsy, very loud. She said, "He went MENTAL when I did the thing with the ice-cubes!". Followed by raucous laughter. I don't think she was putting them in his drink.

Sitting on a train behind a group of teenage boys, one was talking about his girlfriend and how he was going to smash her back doors in! (Slang for Anal sex)

😂😂😂

Horrible.

What a weird conversation to initiate with a bunch of blokes you don't know. Why would you do this?

On holiday in Spain a few years ago and a couple were arguing next to us (can't remember what about)

He stands up and says 'I'm away up to the room to get changed'

She replies 'getting changed into a better person?'

Think about it ever now and then and chuckle

I once accidentally opened mail addressed to the previous tenants of our flat, and found this invitation:

On a train from Doncaster to reading and at Oxford a youngish (prob early to mid twenties) woman got on with her EarPods in and proceeded to have a conversation with someone about ‘throwing the towel in’ on some sort of love triangle and was well aware it was what it was. .

Sounded like the person on the other end of the phone had formed an attachment to the other ladys young kids but he still wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Lady on the phone didn’t seem convincing in her efforts to get out of the triangle. Was pretty rude we couldn’t hear what they were saying given the volume of her half of the conversation. Think half the carriage was ‘ear wigging’ the whole time