Feeling down about turning 40 this year

[Cloud44]

Im turning 40 in a couple of months and feeling quite down about it, don’t really want to celebrate, can you knock some sense into me and help me feel more positive about it?

Why is it making you feel down?

Im not actually sure! I know it’s silly , just can’t seem to shake the feeling of feeling a bit strange about it.

40 is still young OP!

You've made it to 40. Celebrate that!

Turning 40 was the kick I needed to get out of a bad 10-year relationship. In the next decade I started a new career, discovered feminism, bought a flat, began fostering cats, ran a half marathon, made a lot of amazing friends, started learning Italian, took up crochet & marked my 50th birthday by taking up weightlifting.

So you have loads of scope left to do new things. This could even be your best decade yet - it was mine!

As is frequently said on here, the alternative is much worse!

It's great getting another year older
Think of all the the things you enjoy and new experiences you'd like to try.
We all know people that didn't get that chance... make the most of life
And enjoy being 40.😁

I'm 70 in a month's time, does that help?

Whenever I hear someone (usually younger) try to poke fun at a woman for aging I genuinely think ‘Surely it’s better than the alternative!’

Aging is a privilege and some people really need reminding of this. Would most of us really trade it all to have been forever young?

Yeah, it's 40 or dead. Some don't make it. You'll be reet, op.

I’d love to be 40 again, OP.

You don’t have to celebrate! I’m not a huge lover of big celebrations of my own (I love other people’s though!). How about a weekend away, or just doing something a bit different?

When I turned 40 my then neighbour was 80
and when I was fretting he laughed and said your only half way through

Dont waste your time worrying about your age - one day you will look back and see 40 as ‘not half way through’

Having said that we all know people who don’t get to reach milestones ( it’s 10 years since we lost Rik Mayal at 57) those people don’t get the luxury of fretting about another birthday

So celebrate - you are 40 and alive 🎉

I’m also turning 40 this year, it doesn’t bring any significance to me really but I’m throwing a party and going on holiday to celebrate! I had kids pretty young, they are 20,19 and 13 - I’m really looking forward to the rest of my life to enjoy some freedom while I’m still young enough and with good wages coming in. 2 friends I went to school with died in their 30’s from cancer, it’s shocking that they never made it to 40, getting older is a privilege - even if you don’t actively look forward to turning 40, can you try and focus on celebrating the positive things in life and embrace more good things to come?

I have felt the same about all ‘big’ birthdays. I regret regretting them! It’s just another day, you’ll not look or feel any different at 40 than you did at 39 (unless you are Cinderella). Give yourself a break, you don’t need to make any life changing decisions. Pick the people you like and do something that makes you feel good. Or spend it on your own with whatever makes you happy.

I'm also turning 40 this year. I have recently been diagnosed with cancer and going through chemo so I'll be pleased to make it to my birthday!

Im so sorry to hear that @Tiberius12 sending you loads of healthy wishes and strength your way and hope you have a wonderful birthday.

It’s a nice age. Neither young nor old. And as someone once said to me, it’s nice to be in your early somethings rather than your late somethings 😬

What would you say to someone who was down about turning 30? That.

I get it, I felt really crappy about it as well. But with hindsight, what a waste of energy.

All very true, thank you, I ll give myself a bit of a talking to!

I'm excited about turning 40 this year. What is worrying you?

I think I feel a pressure because it’s a milestone birthday to feel really happy about it and love every minute with a celebration but instead I feel a bit down because I don’t like being centre of attention so don’t want the focus on me and I feel it’s getting old! So silly I know.

I won't be having a big party. Currently pregnant and if all goes well I'll be as big as a house by then anyway. Big dos wouldn't appeal to me. Could you just go out for a nice meal with family or friends or even a little weekend away finances permitting? As others have said it's better than the alternative! It's not old.

So it’s nothing to do with getting older or not having done things you wanted to do by 40, you’re just upset because you don’t want to celebrate in the way you feel you are supposed to want to celebrate?

Take the pressure off. Be aware that you don’t need to do anything whatsoever to celebrate if you’re not feeling it. I had a newborn on my 40th, so did nothing at all. On my 50th, I wasn’t in the humour, and had all of DS’s tween friends around for the day, then I went on a silent retreat in a Buddhist centre somewhere very beautiful. On a friend’s 40th, we climbed a mountain. On another friend’s 40th, we did an all-day marathon of black and white films at an arts centre. My brother did a triathlon.

Yeah @Vermeer i think that’s basically why I feel down! Subconsciously I feel pressure to have an amazing time and I don’t deal well with pressure so I’m wishing it wasn’t even happening! Wasn’t like this for my 18,21 or 30th! As I get older I just don’t like a fuss!