Feeling down about turning 40 this year

[Cloud44]

Im turning 40 in a couple of months and feeling quite down about it, don’t really want to celebrate, can you knock some sense into me and help me feel more positive about it?

That’s not silly at all, and I remember feeling exactly the same. What happened, or what would happen, if you spelled out to your partner/closest friends how you’re feeling?

I’m forty as well very soon. Frankly I’m just happy to be here. Not doing anything massive, night away with my husband, night away with my mum and going for a meal with some friends.

OP - I spent my 60th at work. My 70th is going to be spent at an art exhibition and having lunch in a nearby pub. If you don't want a big celebration then tell people you don't.

It seems to me that it's only in the last couple of decades that birthdays ending in zero get hyped up to this extent. Commercial pressures again.

I knew so many people who would have loved to have had the privilege of turning 40.

Thank you everyone. Will try and go into it with gratitude rather than overthinking it all. How did you celebrate yours in the end @LoobyDoop2 ?

I think dinner out with my husband- which is fine, because I like going out for dinner- and a brunch with friends that honestly I wasn’t really fine with, because I had been pretty clear I didn’t want to do anything, and they insisted, and it felt like it was more about them than me. But I plastered a smile on 😂

I hear you. I was down about it. So I said "fuck it", raised a couple of grand for a local charity and jumped out of an aeroplane with an old friend who felt the same. Too the sting right out of it that did.

As it turned out I was panicking about nothing. My forties were great - I'm 51 now and it's still great!

That’s brilliant @Damnloginpopup ! Do you remember what it was you felt down about?

I knew someone who was determined to get to 40 and have a huge party, even from her hospital bed. Sadly she died three days before, leaving three young children and a devastated husband.

Don't celebrate if you don't want to, but be grateful you've got there. Did you see the guy on the BBC news who is roller skating at 80, having taken it up at 60? He says he hopes to be really good at it by the time he is 90. Find someone like him to inspire you.

@UtterlyOtterly there’s a lady I see at the swimming pool sometimes, she told
me last year that she’s 88 and her doctor told her she shouldn’t be doing anything that raises her heart rate above whatever number but she just loves aqua aerobics and won’t ever stop! She uses a walker to get to the edge of the pool, she’s about 5ft tall and is genuinely just incredible. I saw her today and we always have a little chat. I aspire to be like her at 88, just enjoying life and making the most of every day.

I loathe my birthday. Hate any attention whatsoever on it so have cancelled it entirely for years. Never liked it.

I've never been at all bothered about being older but used to dread my birthday approaching every year as I hated presents etc so much. As I got older fewer and fewer people knew when it was and at 40 I put my foot down and refused to let anyone mention it.

Since then I love it. The day passes as entirely ordinary and I love it. It's my 45th this year on Father's Day which I'll be spending at PILs having a roast for DH and FIL. Everyone will play along pretending they don't know it's also my birthday. It's perfect!

I'm turning 40 later this year.

My 30's have been all about buying a house and having the children.

I turn 40 about the time my youngest starts school. I will actually have a few hours to myself, a couple of times a week.

Annoyingly, I have to work on my 40th, it's not a job where you can take annual leave.

But.

Last year, realising what was coming, I started to make an effort for myself.

I started running, and making better food choices.
Then, I started an exercise class, with other mums.
Then, added in swimming.

I completed my first 5k race, and have my first 9k run this Friday.

I've lost almost 3 stone (and 4 since my heaviest).

I am determined that my 40's will be healthier than my 30's.

But, likewise, not sure I want a big fuss around my birthday.

i Was sad about 30, didn’t want to celebrate. My mam was horrified, said she’d be celebrating anyway! She also reminded me that life is precious and getting older is a privilege not afforded to some.

Being forty. Literally that. It's meaningless but it sounds old when you aren't yet there.

Fifty I cancelled the party my partner had started to arrange. Not interested. Just had a Chinese with my family. Daughters, parents, brother, my partner and his .

Got made redundant six weeks before and absolutely loving it 😁 done so many casual jobs since! Currently on the Isle of Man finishing up a month-long job on the TT and then off to work a festival for nine days back home with a day off between them. Don't panic about forty, just give less fucks 😉

...my brother's partner I mean. I didn't take up threesomes 🤣

You don't have to have a big 'centre of attention' party. DH turned 50 last year and we just went to a Greek island for the weekend with 6 of his mates and it was lovely. Could you just mark with something like that or nice meal or tea party for family and/or close friends?