Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Dance moms

32 replies

tgsldbdk · 09/06/2024 16:10

I have been watching dance moms on catch up with my oldest daughter (11) (who is dance obsessed) and I said to her 'I would never let you be part of Abby Lee Dance Company.' My daughter said she would do anything to learn there.

This got me thinking, if your daughter really really wanted to go, would you let her? We train several times a week and my daughter is in various shows/competitions etc and is it really much different?

Would you be a member of the 'dance moms' and let your daughter be a part of it all. It's undeniable that Abby Lee Miller trained the dancers amazingly, but at what cost? Do you think the moms now regret letting their daughters be a part of it all and do you think the daughters are angry at their parents?

OP posts:
discountsandoffers · 09/06/2024 16:33

Hell no no no would i take the preference of an 11 year old against the very real evidence that this is very much against the best interest of the child

PurpleChrayn · 09/06/2024 16:54

No way. Abby is a very weird and unhealthy character and I would never subject my daughter to her ways.

stressedespresso · 09/06/2024 16:55

It is well publicised how damaging growing up on the show was to all of the girls

Allmarbleslost · 09/06/2024 16:55

Hell no! I do wonder how much of the programme is real though iyswim. Some of
if must be scripted/exaggerated?

discountsandoffers · 09/06/2024 17:04

They hardly go to school

Laserwho · 09/06/2024 17:10

Her favourite dancer Maddie dosent speak to her anymore even though she was a big part of her life. Being on dance moms really screwed her up.

ToxicChristmas · 09/06/2024 17:25

Absolutely not.
I find her incredibly toxic and her relationship with Maddie was weird and inappropriate at times. The day she kissed her on the lips made my stomach turn. There are hundreds of extremely talented, hands on dance instructors and choreographers who I would pick over Abby Lee. She isn't actually as successful as the show made out either.
It's interesting to listen to "Back to the Barre" which is a podcast hosted by Christi Lukasiak and Kelly Hyland to listen to their behind the scenes unpicking of episodes.

ToxicChristmas · 09/06/2024 17:27

Oh and she has also said some extremely problematic things since the show ended that would make me steer well clear!

Fromage · 09/06/2024 17:30

Just want to say Kelly Hyland is my hero for that time she clomped Abby on the head.

In many ways, she clomped for us all.

Mrsjayy · 09/06/2024 17:34

Oh I remember watching it with my dd when it was on TLC it's all toxic and those poor girls the moms were ridiculous and I think Abby was put in prison for tax evasion. I saw it was on e4 and it really hasn't aged well, it has the same level of toxicity as toddlers and tiaras.

ThisBlueCrab · 09/06/2024 17:34

Abby Lee doesn't train the dancers though, she has people who do that for her from what I have seen. She merely shouts and screams at people.

My dd (10 nearly 11) dances, she has been asked to be part of her dance school's competition team and declined. She loves dancing but she doesn't do it for the accolades, she does it because it is fun.

I wouldn't send my worst enemy on that show or to train with Abby Lee, she is a vulgar, abusive and frankly disgusting human being. She is also a criminal. People who go on there should have their kids removed from their care for deliberately allowing them to be abused.

It is only used as a springboard to fame.

Mrsjayy · 09/06/2024 17:35

I said all that but we watched it till the bitter end 😂

Startingagainandagain · 09/06/2024 17:35

I am watching all the series as well on Channel4 on demand.

Not a healthy environment: bullying, lots of shouting, making the kids in the team compete against each other for Abby's attention...

I know it is a TV programme and so of this is probably scripted but I would not want to send a kid in that environment.

Unfortunately I have been told by people who studied ballet that this is not uncommon treatment in the dance world: dancer have to be tough/resilient which is fine, but a lot of the teachers are just sadistic bullies.

ConfusedKoala13 · 09/06/2024 17:36

Can I ask where you are watching it on catch up? Dd2 is a big Salish Matter fan and has come across Dance Moms via that and would like to watch it.

Chocolatelight · 09/06/2024 17:44

Maddie, McKenzie, Nia and JoJo have become successful from being on the show, success they may lot have reached if they hadn’t been in it - I wonder if they feel it was worth it.
Paige attempted to sue ALM so she’s clearly very unhappy.
I wonder what kind of relationships the girls now have with their mothers.

Mrsjayy · 09/06/2024 17:47

Jojo siwa has made an absolute fortune but I don't think her fame has done her much good she is full on and believes her own hype!

Persianpuss · 09/06/2024 17:49

No way would I let my child be abused in the name of training.

I'm also surprised that while the kids are good at tricks like multiple pirouettes their basic technique actually isn't very good, poor turnout, knees not straight etc. You can also tell that from the sour looks/comments they got when Joffrey ballet came to audition them!

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/06/2024 17:56

Chocolatelight · 09/06/2024 17:44

Maddie, McKenzie, Nia and JoJo have become successful from being on the show, success they may lot have reached if they hadn’t been in it - I wonder if they feel it was worth it.
Paige attempted to sue ALM so she’s clearly very unhappy.
I wonder what kind of relationships the girls now have with their mothers.

Mackenzie has talked about how Dance Moms caused her so much anxiety that she ended up in therapy at age 12 when the show ended.

One of the other girls, Kalani, recently admitted on the reunion show that she felt suicidal.

I think they appreciate the opportunities the show opened to them but at the same time, admit that it came at a cost.

Mrsjayy · 09/06/2024 17:58

Persianpuss · 09/06/2024 17:49

No way would I let my child be abused in the name of training.

I'm also surprised that while the kids are good at tricks like multiple pirouettes their basic technique actually isn't very good, poor turnout, knees not straight etc. You can also tell that from the sour looks/comments they got when Joffrey ballet came to audition them!

It was more "contemporary" dance the programme wasn't really about dancing it was about the moms Abbey and the pretend competitions the children were just accessories really.

taxi4ballet · 09/06/2024 18:07

Persianpuss · 09/06/2024 17:49

No way would I let my child be abused in the name of training.

I'm also surprised that while the kids are good at tricks like multiple pirouettes their basic technique actually isn't very good, poor turnout, knees not straight etc. You can also tell that from the sour looks/comments they got when Joffrey ballet came to audition them!

I'd love to have been a fly on the wall that day.
Confused

Gatehouse77 · 15/06/2024 11:26

I can’t think of one single Dance Mom I’d want to be friends with, they all turn into screaming banshees when faced with a reality!
Likewise, Cathy and Abby.
Holly is probably the most balanced out of them but the fact that she continued to be part of it and allow Nia to be subjected to the harm lowers my opinion of her.

No one comes across as a well rounded functioning person in reality TV but their reactions are mind blowing at times 😱

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 18/06/2024 20:51

I've been binge watching it whilst bored and laid up with sciatica. I find Abby an interesting/terrifying character and I HATE how often she has her tongue stuck out of her mouth licking her lips or whatever. She really is an awful human being and horribly abusive to the children who crave her attention. I was really taken aback to find out the 'pyramid' part of the show lasted a full 4 hours in some cases where the girls just stood there and got abused for an entire day.

I would never let my child anywhere near her.

ConfusedKoala13 · 22/06/2024 13:30

This show is seriously not good for my productivity and the cleanliness/tidiness of my house.
Can't stop watching, even though it is kinda gruesome viewing.
Where's their childhood/schooling - or is "the season" all in summer holidays?
The power that Abby has that leaves the poor kids insecure & craving her attention and the way she uses it is quite disturbing.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 22/06/2024 16:18

ConfusedKoala13 · 22/06/2024 13:30

This show is seriously not good for my productivity and the cleanliness/tidiness of my house.
Can't stop watching, even though it is kinda gruesome viewing.
Where's their childhood/schooling - or is "the season" all in summer holidays?
The power that Abby has that leaves the poor kids insecure & craving her attention and the way she uses it is quite disturbing.

from what I can gather, they dance in the early morning and then from 4pm up to 9pm at night. Maddie and Mackenzie end up home schooling so they can focus more on their dance and that makes Abby freak out at all the other mothers who aren't prepared to do the same and stick to the hours outside of school time they dance. The pyramid must be done on a weekend because it can take up to 4 hours to complete so they can't be at school on that day.

The whole thing is barbaric and I can't believe its the only way to produce decent dancers.