Who pays for funeral?

[Clueless2024]

I am curious about the 'etiquette' in this scenario. Not my direct family, but close enough to be asked my thoughts and honestly, i'm unsure.

Mum has 4 grown children and many grandkids. Mum has always been on welfare/benefits and has always lived close to the breadline (by choice - yet always has enough for tobacco and marijuana).

Mum married about 13 years ago. Adult children do not call husband "step dad" although relationship is very cordial, everyone gets along. No drama's or issues. Together, they both continue to claim welfare and have never really had much money.

Mum has stated if she passes away before her husband, she wants one of her adult children to pay for her funeral expenses. I am curious - is this fair? Or should widowed husband pay?

Husband should pay. But a weird question and thought process!

Husband should pay BUT Mum knows her husband won’t have the money so will probably fall to the adult children.

Personally, I thought the husband should pay too.

Thats why I'm asking! I think its a burden to place on your children, when you have a spouse....

It's a strange family dynamic, which is why I think they have asked my opinion.

Husband should pay. Agree it's really weird of her to think and ask one of her adult children to pay for her funeral. Why just one of her children?

The husband should pay. If they’re on benefits he can claim for funeral expenses. It isn’t much but will cover a very basic service.

Because he is the only single one without children (so therefore she thinks he has more money than any of the others)

It falls to the husband to pay

Next of kin pays ... which is spouse.

The estate pays, if there isn't enough money in the estate, I guess it is hoped/assumed the family will pay if not I think there may be grants or a paupers funeral.

If she's been on benefits forever I guess a paupers funeral would suit her, why pay for anything.

Estate pays first and foremost so hopefully there is some assets or policy.

Loving the judgy comments Op, not very nice. Do you like the mum?

Husband pays as he’s the next of kin. Weird and rude request. But she sounds on the entitled side so that fits. If l was the child then l would decline

Lol at assets or estate. Did people actually read the OP.

Tell your mother, if you all get stiffed with the bill then she won't be getting a funeral and it's up to her husband to pay for it.

Its not supposed to be judgy. Just trying to give clear picture. I like mum very much.

Don't people without much money have plans with the co-op any more?

I feel she is a bit entitled and rude to expect her child to pay, but as I mentioned, the family dynamics are "different" and I have to be sensitive when I voice my opinions, even when they are asked for.

Husband.

Don't really have to have a funeral these days, you can just get a cremation. If she wants more than that she'll need to get a funeral plan.

Direct cremation is the cheapest at around £1k, I think you can get some funeral benefits for basic costs if you are on benefits but I doubt they would cover a full funeral which is probably about £4k-£5k, but a lot of that stuff is extras which the state shouldn't be paying anyway.

If they are on benefits then the state would provide a basic funeral.

You don’t actually need a funeral. If the deceased cannot afford it, no need anyway.

this certainly was not true when my dad passed away (some time ago now i admit) but the cost of his funeral fell too his 5 daughters to pay for..

he was on benefits and had no savings..

Husband pays.

Extremely unfair to expect 1/4 children to pay.

Maybe the relatives need to be on benefits rather than the deceased

i would expect the husband to pay for it! myself and my husband both have insurances in place and our funerals all planned out and in a folder. we both know what we both want and wouldn't dream of putting on that on our children

@beckybarefoot yes, sorry I believe @BobnLen is correct.