Are my children to young to be walking to school alone?

[Scorpion111]

My children go to a school that is on the same street as our house. They leave through the front door, cross over the road and then walk up the road for around 3-4 minutes and they’re at the school gates.

Because the school is so close, I can watch them walk the entire way from my bedroom window. Both of my children are extremely sensible, not just in my opinion but their teachers and their friend’s parents are always singing their praises.

They have only walked to school alone 2x and I take them through the same safety briefing in the morning - stay out the road, stay together, look where you’re going, look left and right before crossing etc. Also before letting them walk to school alone (which they have been begging to do btw) we started with saying bye to them at the gate instead of walking them to class, progressing to only walking to the top of the road with them, then half way up the road with them until I was confident in their ability to stay safe.

My children are 7 (almost 8) & 6 years old.

Do the children also play out with friends unsupervised?

If you're watching them the whole time, why don't you just walk with them... as surely it's the same time plus a much quicker walk home?

Also I never get the whole 'watching' thing - just because you're watching from a distance doesn't mean they're not going to be hit by a car or spoken to by a stranger, you just watch it happen from a distance rather than stopping it happen in the first place!

If their friends on the same street are doing it, and lots of other local children walk alone, and they're exceptionally sensible, and you come from a family where you used to do it yourself, what is it you're worried about/what answers are you looking for?

It would be extremely.unusual round here for 6&7yr olds to walk on their own, but very common from Y5 (9/10yrs), as here they're at middle school by then.

I think that posters saying it is unsafe probably live in very built up areas/cities and can't imagine allowing it.

I don't see an issue with it.

Totally normal in most European countries apart from the UK. The issue here is that because most young kids don’t walk on their own, it’s not a cultural expectation and therefore traffic isn’t driving in a way to mitigate for kids maybe stepping off the pavement and if your kids are the only ones on their own they might be more vulnerable.

as a pp said, in Switzerland you are viewed as negligent if you don’t allow your child to walk by themselves from about 5 as you are not allowing them to develop these skills.

I don't think this is a big deal actually, the kids are supervised crossing the road and then you can watch them from the window all the way to school. I do think it's good to give kids independence like this even at a young age however, I am surprised that the school allow it as I thought the general rule was year 5's and above for taking themselves to and from school. A friend was told off by a teacher for letting their 7 year old (7 year old begged her to do this as well..)walk into the school gates alone even though she was outside the school gate and could see her daughter all the way into the classroom..

Gosh, how times change! In the 80s, my kids did a similar walk, with the crossing supervised by a crossing lady, and they all did it without me from the start of Y1, along with pretty well all the other children on the street. If a Y2 child was being walked by a parent, it would have been considered a bit over-protective.

No. They did once play football on a bit of grass down the road with friends but I felt terrible the whole time and now when their friends come over I always say they can’t go outside. They’ve begged to walk to school alone and I’ve only allowed it so that they can gain some independence and I can get used to the fact that they will be playing out alone soon. As I have GAD due to my own childhood traumas I’ve realised I stop my children from doing any and everything where I can’t be there with them (football lessons, boxing etc where parents are expected to leave and come back) so trying this as also a way for me to get over it (if that makes sense? ) whilst also giving them what they’ve asked for. I also used to walk to school alone and definitely played out unsupervised at their ages

I think a lot here will depend on the school set up. A 6yo at ours would need to walk around the whole large building to get to the Yr1 classroom. They are unsupervised on the playground, and there's two gates. Plenty of "escape routes". Classroom doors open at the school bell.
Just walking through the front gate then through the school door, presumably to cloakroom and then classroom is a different set up.

At one of the schools DDs attended no parents were allowed on school grounds at pick up and drop off... the majority went on the school bus, which dropped them at the gate (teachers funneled them up the path into the grounds as the buses parked in a row) and they played until the bell went.

Wouldn't be allowed at my kids school have to be year 6 my 10 year old isn't allowed to travel to school alone.

Normal where I am, my oldest walked alone from 6, a much longer route.
You say they have friends that are walking alone too, so its clearly pretty normal there too so zero issue. Perhaps they can walk with their friends?

so trying this as also a way for me to get over it

I'd flip that around. It's really admirable that you're trying to get over your GAD, where it relates to your children and limits them, but start with something that is "safer", like leaving them at a set class with appropriate adults in charge. That way you are passing over parental responsibility to the adults, and they're expecting it. Then when you're comfortable with that, and they get used to more independence, you can move on to other things. Walking to school at 6 & 7 is a bit young.

You could walk just behind them, if it's really important to them, but you should be with them.

I played out young too. It's a different world now, though. It's likely that they'll be absolutely fine but there's a reason most primary schools don't allow any children to arrive alone, or limit it to Y6 only.

Sounds fine to me. I still take my 6 year old but he'll be going by himself from the autumn when he's 7. My 8 year old started at 7 too. Our route to school is about 1 km and has a few crossings with pedestrian lights.

Children gain a lot of self confidence and maturity from being trusted with manageable bursts of independence like this.

It's normal in most countries, the UK is very much an outlier.

If you're concerned, check in with the school and see if they have a policy on independent arrival / departure. If they tell you that it's entirely up to you, then maybe send them a follow-up email to thank them for clarifying, let them know your children may arrive and depart independently, and describe the oversight you have. My children's school just wanted to be aware of children who were expecting to leave independently, as otherwise the children are handed over to a known adult / older sibling at the end of the day.

I'd probably do the same as you if we had that set up, or perhaps would be with them for the decision on when to cross the road, so that the older child doesn't feel left with the responsibility for the younger child. If there are lots of children and parents around at that time, as there typically are shortly before the start of school and within a few hundred metres of a school, the children are unlikely to be isolated without support in the event that something happens.

My kids started walking to school independently earlier than their peers. They've thrived on the sense of independence and personal responsibility.

Personally I think it's absolutely fine for a walk of that nature and a good thing for them, but the rest of the world seems to disagree these days 😕

It was normal when we were kids and TBH I think people used to drive a lot faster on suburban roads back then and, no, there are not 'more crazy people around these days'.

We lived just as close to my school OP. My Mum did this from when I was age 7 onwards and I'm still here.

I don't think schools have any real authority over how children travel to school. How does your child's school enforce this? Is there some policy / agreement that you've voluntarily signed up to?

Gosh- heaps of the kids in my area (in Sydney, Australia) walk to school at that age, and much further. They do tend to go in groups but there's not the expectation that the elder kids babysit the younger.

I don't let mine, because it's a 10-15 min walk, including crossing a road, but I would when they are 8. That's late, for our area!

The rest of England and Wales maybe (I've heard it's still normal in Scotland). Definitely not the rest of the world.

Too young. They might be in eye sight, but you're not with them should you need to direct/pull them away from fast traffic, some oddball decides to have a chat with them/grab them, they get distracted crossing the road as they're having a chat about something/messing around.

it's fine
I would help them cross the road, but the short walk is fine.

Yes it's part of the school rules only children in year 6 can travel alone.

I think it’s fine. They are old enough.

I was just about to say I’m in rural-ish part of Scotland and it’s normal here for the kids who live round the school and can use the paths and residential roads. Maybe not the primary 1s but p2 and up definitely. I think it depends on lots of factors. Not least where you are. Sounds fine to me. But if you’re not comfortable with it yet just tell dc you like the walk and spending time with them so it’s not that they’re not allowed because you’re worried. Then if/when you decide they can you can retreat gradually.

I think we're missing pedestrian safety in numbers in the UK generally, and as @PaddingtonBunny says, UK is out of step with many European nations. We have accepted huge amounts of public space being turned over to almost exclusive use by motor vehicles, at the expense of comfort and safety for those excluded from this type of travel - the very young, the very old, non-drivers, people with particular disabilities, etc. It's not unachievable to change culture, but there needs to be strong leadership to do this and I can't see where it's going to come from in the current political climate. In the current situation, I can see how many think it's unreasonable to 'expose' a young child to what can be a very hostile environment for young pedestrians, and I probably would be uncomfortable with an infant school child taking a solo trip of a mile or so to school in a built up area with lots of traffic and incidences of bad driving. I am, however, uncomfortable that we continue to accept this loss of independence for our children.