Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Being told to stop breastfeeding

45 replies

Peptea · 04/06/2024 20:46

Is this normal? My family are telling me to switch my 5mo to formula they keep saying it’s better for her and so they can mind her and me and DH can go out for a bit

i do plan to switch her to formula feeding as I have to return to work when she’s 10mo but I just don’t really like the pressure and wonder why they keep asking and telling me to do it?

is it normal is it just because they’re excited and want to mind her ?

I don’t mean to sound nasty but someone said “you haven’t given us a chance with her she’s never away from you” but she’s my child and she’s young? People aren’t automatically entitled to minding her just because they’re my family ?

OP posts:
Everythingiscalmfornow · 04/06/2024 20:49

Oh my goodness. It is your baby. You do what you think is best for her. No one should be pressurising you to stop breast feeding just because it would suit them better!

AColdClearDrink · 04/06/2024 20:50

It’s your choice. Don’t bow down to 'peer pressure'. Your baby, your body, your choice.

Cuppachuchu · 04/06/2024 20:52

Tell them you'll let them know when they can mind baby, it's entirely up to you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Breast & bottle feeding Families
Bosabosa · 04/06/2024 20:52

Don't listen to them. The baby is tiny and only wants you which is TOTALLY NORMAL. Breast feed as much and as long as you want/able to. Absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. It is wonderful that you are able to do it, many women can't. Take care

Comeoncar · 04/06/2024 20:52

Some people are unbelievable. She's a 5mo breastfed baby, she's supposed to be with you. They can wait until you're both ready.

gamerchick · 04/06/2024 20:52

Tell them that every time they bring up your tits, youll be adding another month on.

Its nobody else's business.

ProfessorPeppy · 04/06/2024 20:53

I literally don’t understand families who do this. Tell them that even if you were formula feeding, she wouldn’t be spending the night away from you until she’s much older.

Olika · 04/06/2024 20:53

If you want to breastfeed her then you breastfeed her. Tell them she is not a play doll but your baby and you will breastfeed until further notice. They want to feed a baby they can get their own.

Buffysoldersister · 04/06/2024 20:54

They are being really unreasonable. If you want to keep bf you absolutely should, it is not their decision. There will be plenty of time for them to mind her one on one when she is older if that is what you want too. At this stage I would personally say it would be a lot of faff to switch to bottle feeding when in a few weeks you can start weaning and also get her using a doidy or tippy cup for water (or formula if you want to stop feeding) by 6 or 7 months so you won't need bottles at all. By 10 months when you go back to work she will be well able to have formula from a cup along with solid food (or you could express if that's your choice). Please don't be bullied out of what suits you and your child right now.

fedupandstuck · 04/06/2024 20:54

It's not normal! Goodness me they are being rude and pushy.

Also, you probably don't need to introduce formula at 10 months old because of returning to work. At that age they can go longer between feeds and can drink water, I continued to breastfeed around work and nursery for many months after returning to work. At 12 months they can have cows milk as a drink too, so no need to use formula then either.

CheeseDreamsTonight · 04/06/2024 20:55

Their comments are totally unnecessary. You carry on. Babies are supposed to be a part of you. They don't even know they're a separate entity. As far as they're concerned you're one person. They're being really selfish.

Original poster
Peptea · 04/06/2024 20:55

I did feel like this didn’t know if I was just getting a bit irate with the comments and the checking in to see if I’ve set up my prep machine.

I dod want to do it for a little longer. And in all honesty I feel like telling them the priority is my husband to have proper 1-2-1 time with her *

(* NB: he has been alone with her but I’m always sort of in the back as she’s of course fed on demand so I can’t like tell him to take her out alone fully in case she needs feeding. She also feeds to sleep/nap as she doesn’t use a dummy)

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 04/06/2024 20:56

They're being selfish, they actually don't have baby's best interests at heart so why would you care about what they say or want?
Ignore them and carry on doing what you are doing for as long as it suits.

JC89 · 04/06/2024 20:56

It's not unusual unfortunately, but it's really none of their business. Also if you find you are not ready to completely stop breastfeeding when you go back to work you still can - I always assumed I'd stop when I went back to work but then carried on feeding morning and evening (and all day at weekends!) until DS was 3. Stop when you and your baby are ready to (whether that is tomorrow or in 2 years time), not when someone else wants you to!

Beepbeepvroomvroom · 04/06/2024 20:57

Tbh these sort of comments would make me want to continue breastfeeding even more! How dare they and no this is absolutely not normal! Mine had nothing but encouragement for me. Also you don’t have to give up entirely when you go back to work.

fungipie · 04/06/2024 20:58

Your choice entirely. They have no right whatsoever to put pressure on you like this. Be brave and stand your ground.

SomeMonstersEatTelly · 04/06/2024 20:58

It is entirely your decision. Whatever is right for you and your family. Breastfeeding is about as personal as it gets - it is completely up to you.

(FWIW I went back to work when my baby was ten months and continued feeding her myself morning and night with no problems.)

AlwaysGinPlease · 04/06/2024 21:00

These people would be cut out of my life and wouldn't see my baby AT ALL. They're crazy!

JessieLongleg · 04/06/2024 21:00

I've had these comments from 5 months now breastfeeding 23 months. He eats food non stop as well. Health visitors say he is a picture of health.

CadyEastman · 04/06/2024 21:01

I found I got lots of comments like this but it's totally up to you. You stop BFing when it no longer suits you or the baby.

BTW you don't have to stop when you truth to work, at that age a FF baby woukd only need 400 ml of formula a set anyway, but it's up to you Flowers

BurbageBrook · 04/06/2024 21:01

What a bunch of idiots they are. Breastmilk is the healthiest food for your baby. There's no need at all to stop BFing when you go back to work either. Your supply will adjust to feeding morning and evening and baby can have bottles of pumped milk in the daytime or formula if you choose.

Next time just ask them why would a UPF from a cow be better for your baby than their mother's tailor made milk? Breastmilk is amazing for your baby and even means that if they catch something like rotavirus or RSV they're less likely to end up in hospital. Tell your family to keep their ill-informed opinions to themselves.

BurbageBrook · 04/06/2024 21:03

Also your baby should be fine without milk for an hour or so at this age if you want to go grab yourself a coffee or have a walk while DH has some alone time with baby. Baby will be on food before you know it and can then have some food and water while you are away so you will soon have more time to yourself anyway.

Italiangreyhound · 04/06/2024 21:03

Your baby. Breastfeed as long as you like. It's good for baby and good for you.

The extended family just want time with her, but that is not necessarily in her best interests. Once you stop it is very hard to re-start.

Just say you are fine as you are and so is she.

Beautifulbythebay · 04/06/2024 21:06

Ask them if a baby Annabell is on their Christmas list... You absolutely do not need to offer up your ebf baby to appease adults.

PickledMuffin · 04/06/2024 21:07

It is 100% your choice. The longer the better I say. I had the same, I did 2 years for my son, 3 years for my daughter. I had comments from my family too at 1 year but my child, my body and my choice.