Being told to stop breastfeeding

[Peptea]

Is this normal? My family are telling me to switch my 5mo to formula they keep saying it’s better for her and so they can mind her and me and DH can go out for a bit

i do plan to switch her to formula feeding as I have to return to work when she’s 10mo but I just don’t really like the pressure and wonder why they keep asking and telling me to do it?

is it normal is it just because they’re excited and want to mind her ?

I don’t mean to sound nasty but someone said “you haven’t given us a chance with her she’s never away from you” but she’s my child and she’s young? People aren’t automatically entitled to minding her just because they’re my family ?

My family were never like this. My 19 month old has never stayed anywhere overnight and doesn't need to. MIL on the other hand has never approved of me breastfeeding, especially as SIL was the opposite to me.

I would always assume anyone who wants "their turn" with a baby is someone who wants to push the pram around, dress them up etc like a toy they can show off to their friends. And they wouldn't be someone I would want in my life.

You can say the advice has changed and it's now not advised to switch to formula. They will be able to have more and more time with her soon

Completely ignore them if your happy feeding. Your baby is not a doll and if your both happy bf then carry on!

You will probably be surprised at 10 months if she's a good eater as well! DS1 went to nursery at 11 months I sent in expressed milk for the first week....he wasn't bothered I just fed him in the morning before going to work, when I picked him up and again before bed.

It's entirely up to you guys when or if you decide to have a night away from baby not family members.

I had these vile comments off people too. Really stupid! I breastfed both of mine till aged over two as per recommended by world health organisation.

Thank you for informing me about returning to work and BF, I’ll be looking into this I thought I’d dry my supply up !

But yes I’m getting a bit annoyed now. It is my choice and regarding parading the baby around I get this. My mum specifically. I have a toddler and god love him he’s just got a new sibling , he’s nearly 3 so the age of 2 is a biiiig transitional one. He’s very shy and gets nervous at new places.

she asks us to attend her friends party and we do, he gets shy and just hugs me and she’s shouting over to everyone “I don’t know why he’s like this this is so not like him” … but it is. He’s not a novelty he’s a person with feelings

i feel like she wants to show DD off which I get. Proud grandparent and all. But also another one of my children who is a person with feelings , so may not want to be away from me right now x

Absolutely not. Unfortunately they've shown that they're willing to put their wants before your baby's best interests.

I bf DD until over 18m. I did have the occasional night away, leaving bottles of expressed milk but I did that because I needed/was ready to leave DD, not because my DP fancied looking after her.

Of course formula isn't better for her, they're just being completely selfish. You stick to your guns, of course the best place for her is to be with you, she's your baby not theirs.

DS was exclusively formula fed and he was still never away from me at that age. It has F-all to do with breastfeeding or not. It’s YOUR child, YOUR body and YOUR choice. Babies need their primary carers (often mum!) at this age. The family will get their moments to babysit when baby is older and more independent. Until then they need to get back in their box. It’s far more important for YOU to be bonding with your child.

A lot of people are used to people formula feeding so they are probably just suggesting what they know. You don’t have to do that (and you can keep breastfeeding when you go back to work if you want to - either you can pump or you can supplement with formula. Or you can stop breastfeeding at that point. It’ll be your choice).

they can look after baby for a wee bit if you want them too and meet you when baby is hungry. But you don’t need to leave baby if you don’t want to.

I am a real advocate for breastfeeding, I still breastfeed my 2 year old before bed, and no one has ever made comment about when I’m going to give up…

However I also made sure neither of my girls were reliant on breast milk to sleep. They both learnt to self soothe, as I would feed them at the start of the wake window rather than the end. They would be put down sleepy, full bellies, but awake.

The newborn days you feel like you’re feeding them all the time, but by 3/4 months, there should be a schedule to when they feed, DH does need to bond with his daughter without you in the background, if you feed her right before he goes out, she should be fine for an hour or more. I do think it takes a village to raise a baby and I’m so grateful for so many people loving on my little girls.

OP, I formula fed my baby and I still think your family is being incredibly rude and out of line. Your baby is not a doll for them to play houses with. He/she needs you. They're not entitled to extra time with the baby, unless you ask for their help with such. You're doing the right thing.

Ahh, my MIL makes grousy comments about not being able to feed my 7.5m old yet. (She could give him actual food, but she's bizarrely disapproving of the fact we feed him vegetables and fruit, not purées.)

Anything that stands between them and the baby becomes a "flaw" in your parenting that they need to advise you to correct.

I must admit that it makes me dig my heels in a bit, because they seem determined to do things differently rather than in sync with us.

Keep going as long as you're comfortable and it works for the pair of you.

You’re being an incredibly responsive and amazing parent and giving your little one a fabulous gift. You don’t have to do formula or expressed milk if you don’t want to and you also don’t have to leave if you don’t wish too. I efb my kids and my youngest is starting to self wean (over two). Very intense in the moment but looking back the time went so quickly, I have zero regrets and now I have the rest of my life for others to babysit!

They are being selfish and thinking about what they want not what's best for baby.

With returning to work have you tried expressing? I went back to work when ds was 9 months old, I was given a 30!minute break a day to express. Ds was down to three feeds by then so I would give morning and night feed and childminder would give an expressed bottle in the afternoon. He dropped the afternoon feed after a couple months so I stopped expressing and just fed morning and night. That lasted until 18 months

i feel like she wants to show DD off which I get. Proud grandparent and all.

I'm not so sure about the proud grandparent showing off the DGC. It sounds more like she wants to play mummy.

She's had her turn, now it's yours. She doesn't get a second go.

She's had her turn, now it's yours. She doesn't get a second go.

Totally agree. My "D"M even tried to name my DD. Had to remind her that she'd chosen the names for me and my DSis and frankly, they weren't great. She's had her turn and you get to decide what's best for you and your LO

Oh please don't let anyone tell you when to stop feeding your baby, you're doing a great job and formula probably isn't better for them. You can pump and give baby a bottle of your milk if they want to mind them but absolutely no pressure.

Also don't give up when you return to work, no need. Again pump if you can get them to take a bottle. Keep going for as long as you want/can.

Only do it if you want to.

Personally I breastfed for as long as possible partly so that I had the perfect excuse not to have her endlessly passed around family members.

It isn't better at all. While formula is an amazing substitute you should never feel guilty about if you can't or don't want to breastfeed, there is no denying that it can't completely replicate all parts of breastmilk. Mix feed if you want but if you're happy breastfeeding stick with it. There are 2 mini-stories that stick in my mind.

1. about 4/5 years ago there was a brief formula shortage. I remember friends posting on facebook begging friends to be on the lookout for their babies formula as they wouldn't accept anything else.
2. a friend changed to formula and her baby changed a lot. Eventually suggested CMPA (some babies don't react to it in breastmilk). Changed to hypoallergenic formula which was difficult to get baby to take but once on it so much better, back to normal. Next GP she went to to get more didn't believe in it and refused to prescribe more. You can't get that milk off prescription, and her milk by this point was gone. She went through hell trying to get an appointment with a different GP who would give her the CMPA formula.

I wanted to breastfeed for many many reasons. But one many don't think about is that you are in control of their food. You're not at the mercy of prescriptions or formula stocks. My baby has CMPA, I can handle it by cutting dairy from my diet. I'd stick with breastfeeding as long as you want to, and certainly until they're reliably eating some food too!

She's yours and you BF her for as long as YOU want to. They'll get time with her. Her needs are greater than theirs. ( they're being very selfish IMO!)
Your baby needs YOU not them. Your milk not formula ( should you wish to keep BF)

As and when you switch then they can pitch in. Stick firm!! X